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You tell your friend that the claims he's making are pretty absurd
你告诉朋友他的观点很荒唐
and that he has no evidence for them whatsoever.
而且也没什么证据。
Instead of addressing the issue, he tells you that if they were so absurd,
他并没有就这个问题做相应的解释，反而告诉你，如果这些观点是荒唐的，
1.6 billion other people wouldn't believe in them.
那其他16亿人口就不会相信了。
Congratulations, you've unfortunately just been served argumentum ad populum.
恭喜，你很不幸的受到了群众思维的影响。
Apparently just because 1.6 billion people believe in something, it must be true.
显然，仅仅是因为16亿人相信某事，那就一定是真的吗。
According to the same logic, the world must have been flat a few thousand years ago
根据相同的逻辑，在几千年以前这个世界一定是平的，而不是圆的
since a lot of people believed in that too.
因为很多人都相信它是平的。
Your friend tells you that her grandma only ate carrots her whole life and she lived to be a 109 years old.
朋友告诉你，她的奶奶一生只食用胡萝卜，并活了109岁。
You tell her, "Okay, cool. Good for her." But she’s not content with that.
你说，“那太好了。”但是她并仅仅满足于你这种赞美。
She wants you to only eat carrots as well.
她想让你也只吃胡萝卜。
If her grandma had such great results, you'll surely have great results as well.
如果她的奶奶有个如此美好的结局，那么你也会是一样。
You tell her that you look at evidence through scientific studies
你告诉她通过科学研究你看到了证据，
involving large sample sizes for what is ideal to eat but she doesn't understand.
这些研究包含了很多理想膳食的样本，但是她不明白。
In her world, smoking is beneficial since there's a 109-year-old smoker somewhere in the world right now without lung cancer.
在她的世界里，吸烟是有益的，因为在世界上的某个地方有个109岁的烟民，他并没有患肺癌。
A friend of yours tells you that he started using this new soap
一个朋友告诉你他开始用新的肥皂了
and his acne have been getting much better.
而且他的痤疮得到了有效的缓解。
You realize that that might very well be true, but you're also skeptical.
你觉得这可能是非常真实的，但你仍然有所怀疑。
You share this with him and he gets mad. What do you mean?
你分享了你的想法，他不乐意了。你什么意思？
He knows for a fact that ever since he started using this soap his acne have been getting better.
他只知道一个事实，那就是自从他用来这种肥皂他的痤疮变好了。
You tell him that yes, while that could be true, it could also be because we're getting more sun now cause it's the summer.
你告诉他是的，这有可能是对的，但是也有可能是因为夏天到了，天气变热
He changed his diet a little while ago, and that also might be affecting it.
他不久前刚刚调整了饮食，这也有可能对他的痤疮产生影响。
He also got a new job and might be less stressed. You bring up all these points
他也换了一份压力不太大的新工作。你罗列出这些观点
and tell him that even though the soap could be legit, you can't really say for sure.
并告诉他，尽管肥皂有那个功效，你也不能说的太绝对。
He's still mad. He doesn't understand that correlation does not prove causation,
他依然很生气。他不明白关联性并不能证明因果性，
especially with his impressive sample size of 1.
尤其是在只有他这一个样例的前提下。
Your friend tells you that he loves the thought of being massaged by the spaghetti monster and his tentacles for eternity.
朋友告诉你他喜欢让意大利面飞行怪永远给他按摩的这个想法
You ask him if he has a reason to believe in something like that.
你问他，他是不是有什么理由来相信这种类似的想法。
He tells you that it's so consoling to him.
他告诉你这让他觉得很安慰。
What is your alternative? You die and then there might be nothing?
你有什么选择呢？你能去死然后装作什么都没发生吗？
All you can tell him is, "I don’t know?"
你所能告诉他的就是“我不知道？”
That kind of uncertainty sounds terrible and isn't very consoling,
那种不确定听起来很可怕，一点也不让人欣慰，
therefore the whole spaghetti monster gently caressing you for eternity thing must be true.
因此飞行怪永久给你按摩的事情是真的。
A friend of yours tells you that Zeus exists and that he is the one true God.
朋友告诉你宙斯是真实存在的并且是真神。
You ask him if he has any reason to make that claim or if there's any way he can prove that statement.
你问他有什么理由得出这个结论，又或者是他怎样可以证明这个陈述。
He laughs at you and tells you, "Well, how about you prove that he doesn't exist."
他蔑视一笑并问你，“你怎么能够证明他不存在呢。”
You tell him you can't do that,
你告诉他你不能证明他不存在，
just like you can't disprove that there isn't a teapot orbiting somewhere around the sun right now
就像是，你根本没法证明围绕太阳运行的茶壶是不存在的一样，
even though we would never just assume that a teapot like that existed.
尽管我们从来不会去假设有那种茶壶的存在。
He laughs again and says, "See...You can't disprove it therefore Zeus exists."
他又笑道，“瞧…你反驳不了，因此宙斯是存在的。”
You want to bring up the point again that the burden of proof lies on the person making the claim
你想再次表明举证责任是由声明人承担的，
but at this point you hopefully realize that you're not really going anywhere with this
但此时你要意识到你这么做毫无意义，
and perhaps have an even more important realization that you really need some less shitty friends.
可能你更需要意识到的是你真的需要一些高情商的朋友。
