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10 Ways To Be A Good Listener
10个方法教你善于倾听。
Being a good listener is one of the most important skills you can master if you want to advance your career and build meaningful relationships. When you REALLY listen, you demonstrate your interest in what is being said and you show your respect for the individual saying it. Listening is a magnetic force that draws people to us.
如果你想在事业上步步高升，如果你想拥有丰富的人脉资源，学会善于倾听是实现目标的其中一个最重要的技巧。如果你真的在聆听，别人会感觉到你对谈话内容的兴趣以及对说话人的尊重。善于倾听就像是一块磁铁，将他人紧紧吸附在你身边。如果你想在事业上步步高升，如果你想拥有丰富的人脉资源，学会善于倾听是实现目标的其中一个最重要的技巧。如果你真的在聆听，别人会感觉到你对谈话内容的兴趣以及对说话人的尊重。善于倾听就像是一块磁铁，将他人紧紧吸附在你身边。
Have you ever talked to someone and noticed he or she wasn’t really listening to you? How did it make you feel? Unimportant? Disrespected? Insulted? Remember those feelings and work diligently to ensure that people never feel the same way when they talk to you.
你没有有遇到过这种情况——和某人说话时对方并未真正在听？你有什么感受？你觉得这不重要？感觉没被尊重？还是有一种被侮辱的感觉？记住这些感受，并确保别人和你说话时你不会让他也有这种感受。
In this post I will highlight 10 things I have learned throughout my career in addition to some lessons my dad taught me. My dad is the best listener I know. Everyone who meets him forms an instant bond with him and I am convinced that the number one reason for this immediate connection is his genuine and sincere interest in others. It all starts with him being a good listener.
本文所说的10个方法有一些是我在工作中学到的，也有一些是从我父亲身上学来的。在我眼里，我父亲是最善于倾听的人。每个和他交往过的人都会立马被他吸引。我坚信这与他在交往时展现出的真诚是分不开的。而这一切，都源于他的善于倾听。
1.Make Eye Contact—The first step in being a good listener is to make eye contact with people while they are talking. Good eye contact demonstrates genuine interest in the person and the conversation.
1.进行目光接触——要做到善于倾听，第一步是当别人说话时，和对方进行目光接触。适当的目光接触会显示出你对说话者和谈话内容的真正兴趣。
2. Be Present—I must admit I have been accused at times by my wife of not being present when she is talking even though I am looking into her eyes. These are times when my mind is thinking about something other than what she is talking about. I can only assume others have noticed, but perhaps at the risk of offending me, they have not said anything. The key here is to be aware that people do notice if we are not really listening. And so we must focus on the discussion and not allow our minds to wonder.
2.专心致志——我得承认，我有时和我妻子交谈时会心不在焉，她因此不少埋怨我。我看上去是在听她说话，但是思想不知道已经漫游到何处了。我只能假设别人是怕得罪我而不会对此有太多怨言。关键是别人是知道你有没有真的在听。所以我们必须全神贯注，避免左耳进右耳出。
3.Give NO Sign You are Ready to Respond—When you are listening, don’t give any clues that you are ready to respond. Don’t point your finger and don’t open your mouth. When I talk to people and I see that they are waiting on pins and needles to respond, I know they are no longer listening because they are more concerned with how they are going to respond than with listening to what I have to say.
3.不要表现出你随时准备回应对方——在听别人说话时，不要表现得你随时都会回应对方。不要指手画脚，什么也不要说。我和别人交谈时总会发现对方迫不及待地想要给予我回应。每当这时我就知道，他们不会再听下去了，因为他们注意力已经不在我说的内容上了，而是把更多的注意力放在了该如何回应我这一方面上。
4.Wait Two Seconds to Respond—During a conversation, wait two seconds after the person finishes speaking to make sure they have finished their thought. This is especially important when talking on the phone, because you can’t see their facial expression. Often times they are just pausing to gather their thoughts and are not really finished speaking. If you find yourself talking at the same time someone else is talking, then use that opportunity to remind yourself of the “pause two seconds” rule.
4.谈话结束稍候两秒再给出回应——应该在别人说完过后两秒再回应对方，以免他没有说完。这在打电话时尤为重要，因为这时你看不到对方的表情，无法判断对方是否已经说完。很多时候，他们只是需要暂停一下来组织语言而并非说完了。如果别人还没说完你就开始说，那么你就要回想一下“停顿两秒”这一规则了。
