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Questions that only you can answer in your most sane, clear-headed of moments: Do you feel truly loved?
只能在你最理智，头脑最清醒的时刻回答：你感觉到了真爱吗？
Do you feel he is deeply committed to you?
你感觉到他是发自内心的对你做出承诺么？
Do you feel he has any doubts about wanting to build a life with you?
你感觉他对和你一起共享人生有任何的怀疑么？
If the answer to these questions are yes, yes, no, then let the debating begin, because he might have a point.
如果这些问题的回答是是的、是的、不是，那就让这场争论开始吧，因为他也许有自己的道理。
But if you feel that he's always holding something back, or that you're spending a lot of energy trying to change yourself into something you think will make him happier, then divorce yourself from him and move on.
但是如果你觉得他一直所保留，或是你花费了太多精力来使自己变成能让他更开心的样子，那就跟他离婚，继续自己的生活。
Don't let him make you feel stupid about wanting to feel loved.
不要让他使自己感觉想被爱是愚蠢的。
This is What It Should Look Like, by Liz
这就是事情该有的样子，莉兹
I have a lady friend whose boyfriend had just moved cross country to live with her, and we were all out having drinks.
我有一个女性朋友，她男友刚跨过整个国家去和她一起生活，我们在一起喝酒。
We got on the subject of marriage, and he went on a huge diatribe of how he didn't believe in marriage.
我们谈到婚姻的话题，他开始大肆抨击并表达自己不相信婚姻。
He grew up in an environment where there was crazy pressure to get married, and all he saw were unhappy, unhealthy marriages.
他成长在一个结婚压力巨大的环境，见过的都是不开心、不健康的婚姻。
My friend was surprised by this strong reaction, and fairly upset about it.
我的朋友惊讶于他如此强烈的反应，并十分不高兴。
She wasn't an intensely marriage-minded gal, but she always thought it was going to be an option.
她并不是一个结婚狂热者，但是她一直认为结婚是一个选择。
She gave it a good deal of thought and realized that what she really wanted was just to be with this man, who had just moved his entire life to be with her.
她大力思考了此事，并意识到她真正想要的是和他在一起，这个男人刚把自己的整个生活搬来和她共度。
So she got used to the idea that she would never be married.
所以她习惯了这个她永远不会结婚的想法。
A year later he proposed, because he realized he was in love with her and knew it was something that was important to her.
一年后他求婚了，因为他意识到自己如此深爱她并且这对对方而言意义非凡。
Greg, I Get It! by Sandy, Age 33
格雷格，我知道了！桑迪，33岁
I was dating this guy for a year and a half.
我和一个男人约会一年半了。
We'd had a few conversations about marriage.
我们对婚姻有过几次谈话。
One day I realized that all the conversations we'd had about marriage were started by me.
有一天我意识到所有关于婚姻的谈话都是我发起的。
"Sure," he always replied, "you are my soul mate. I'm so passionate about you. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone, blah, blah, blah."
“当然，”他总是这么回答，“你是我的灵魂伴侣。我对你着迷不已。我爱你胜过所有人，等等，等等，等等。”
When I'd asked him flat out, "Do you want to marry me?" he'd say, "Yeah, I would like to."
当我直接问他说，“你想跟我结婚么？”他会说，“是的，我很愿意。”
Then it dawned on me—I had never heard the words "I want to marry you" come out of his mouth.
我突然明白我从未从他嘴里听过“我想和你结婚”这句话。
Literally, the day I had this revelation, I dumped him.
毫不夸张的，那一天我在恍然大悟后甩了他。
