Saving David
拯救大卫
Years ago, when I was working as a psychologist at a children's institution in England, an adolescent boy showed up in the waiting room, it was David.
许多年前,我是英国一所儿童机构的心理医生,有一天,一个十几岁的男孩出现在候诊室,他叫大卫。
David wore a black raincoat that was buttoned all the way up to his neck. His face was pale, and he stared at his feet while wringing his hands nervously. He had lost his father as an infant, and had lived together with his mother and grandfather ever since. But when David turned 13, his grandfather died and his mother was killed in a car accident. He was very depressed, refusing to talk to others.
大卫穿着一件黑色的雨衣,扣子一直扣到脖颈。他脸色苍白,眼睛紧盯着自己的双脚,同时还紧张地揉搓着双手。大卫很小的时候就失去了父亲,一直同母亲和祖父生活在一起。在13岁那年的时候,他的祖父去世了,母亲也在一次车祸中丧生。他情绪低落,不跟任何人说话。
The first two times we met, David didn't say a word. He sat in the chair and only looked up at the children's drawings on the wall. As he was about to leave after the second visit, I put my hand on his shoulder. He didn't shrink back, but he didn't look at me either.
在我们头两次见面时大卫一句话也没说。他坐在椅子上,抬起头时也只是看着我身后墙上孩子们画的画。他第二次来后,在他将要离开的时候,我将手放在他的肩上,他没有退缩着躲开,也没有看我一眼。
"Come back next week," I hesitated a bit. Then I said, "I know it hurts."
"如果愿意,下周还来吧。"我犹豫了一下说我知道你很难过。"
He came, and I suggested we play a game of chess. He nodded. After that we played chess every Wednesday afternoon in complete silence and without making any eye contact. It's not easy to cheat in chess, but I admit that I made sure David won once or twice.
他的确来了,我提议两人下象棋,他点头同意了。之后,我们每周三下午下棋——但都不说话,他也从不和我对视。下棋时作弊并不容易,不过我得承认,我的确有意让大卫赢过一两次。
It seemed as if he enjoyed my company. But why did he never look at me? "Perhaps he senses that I respect his suffering." I kept wondering and playing with him, until some months later, suddenly, he looked up at me, "It's your turn," he said.
看上去他,很喜欢和我在一起,但是为什么他从不看我眼呢?"也许他只是需要有人为他分担痛苦我想也许他觉得我尊重他的苦楚。"与他下棋时我一直带着这样的疑问,直到几个月后,突然,大卫抬头看着我,说道该你了。"
After that day, David started talking He got friends in school and joined a bicycle club. He wrote to me a few times, after that the letters stopped. Now he had really started to live his own life.
自那天起,大卫开始说话了。他在学校里有了朋友,并加入了一个自行车俱乐部。他给我写过几次信,在那之后,他就不再写信了。现在他已经真正开始了自己的生活。
Maybe I gave David something. At least I learned a lot from him. I learned how time makes it possible to overcome what seems to be an insuperable pain. I learned to be there for people who need me. And David showed me how one - without any words - can reach out to another person. All it takes is a hug, a shoulder to cry on,a friendly touch, a sympathetic nature - and an ear that listens.
也许我给予过大卫某种东西,至少我从他,那里学到了很多。我懂得了时间如何使人克服看上去无法逾越的痛苦,我学会了帮助需要我帮助的人。大卫还使我明白,一个人怎样才能不通过语言而去帮助他人。所需的只是一个拥抱,一个痛哭时可以依依的肩头,一次友好抚慰,一种同情的本性,以及一双聆听的耳朵。