Mirror, Mirror---What do I See?
A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror.
Mirrors have a very particular function. They reflect the image in front of them. Just as a physical mirror serves as the vehicle to reflection, so do all of the people in our lives.
When we see something beautiful such as a flower garden, that garden serves as a reflection. In order to see the beauty in front of us, we must be able to see the beauty inside of ourselves. When we love someone, it’s a reflection of loving ourselves. When we love someone, it’s a reflection of loving ourselves. We have often heard things like “I love how I am when I’m with that person.” That simply translates into “I’m able to love me when I love that other person.” Oftentimes, when we meet someone new, we feel as though we “click”. Sometimes it’s as if we’ve known each other for a long time. That feeling can come from sharing similarities.
Just as the “mirror” or other person can be a positive reflection, it is more likely that we’ll notice it when it has a negative connotation. For example, it’s easy to remember times when we have met someone we’re not particularly crazy about. We may have some criticism in our mind about the person. This is especially true when we get to know someone with whom we would rather spend less time.
Frequently, when we dislike qualities in other people, ironically, it’s usually the mirror that’s speaking to us.
I began questioning myself further each time I encountered someone that I didn’t particularly like. Each time, I asked myself, “What is it about that person that I don’t like?” and then “Is there something similar in me?” in every instance, I could see a piece of that quality in me, and sometimes I had to really get very introspective. So what did that mean?
It means that just as I can get annoyed or disturbed when I notice that aspect in someone else, I better reexamine my qualities and consider making some changes. Even if I’m not willing to make a drastic change, at least I consider how I might modify some of the things that I’m doing.
At times we meet someone new and feel distant, disconnected, or disgusted. Although we don’t want to believe it, and it’s not easy or desirable to look further, it can be a great learning lesson to figure out what part of the person is being reflected in you. It’s simply just another way to create more self-awareness.
镜子,镜子,告诉我
充满爱意人的生活在充满爱意的世界里,充满敌意的人则生活在充满敌意的世界里。你所遇到的每一个人都是你的镜子。
镜子里有一个非常独特的功能,那就是映射出在其前面的影像。就像真正的镜子具有反射功能一样,我们生活中的所有人也都能映射出他人的影子。
当我们看到美丽的事物时,例如一座花园,那这花园就起到了反射作用。为了发现我们面前美好的事物,我们必须能发现在自己内在的美。我们爱某个人,也正是我们爱自己的表现。我们经常听到这样的话:“当我和那个人在一起的时候,我爱那时的自己。”这句话也可以简单地说成:“在我爱那个人的同时,我也能爱我自己。”有时,我们遇见一个陌生人,感觉仿佛是一见如故,就好像我们已经相识甚久。这种熟悉感可能来自于彼此身上的共同点。
就像“镜子”或他人能映射出我们积极的一面一样,我们更有可能注意到映射出自己消极方面的“镜子”。例如,我们很容易就能记住我们碰到自己不太喜欢的人的时刻。我们可能在心里对那个人有些反感。当我们认识自己不喜欢与之相处的人时,这种情况就更为明显。
具有讽刺意味着的是,通常当我们讨厌别人身上的某些特质时,那就说明你其实讨厌自己身上相类似的特质。
每次,当我遇到不太喜欢的人时,我就开始进一步质问自己。我会扪心自问:“我不喜欢那个人的哪些方面?”然后还会问:“我是不是有和他相似的地方?”每次,我都能在自己身上看到一些令我厌恶的特质。我有时不得不深刻地反省自己。那这意味着什么呢?
这意味着,就像我会对其他人身上令我厌恶的特质感到恼怒或不安一样,我应该更好地重新审视自己的特质,并考虑做一些改变。即使我不想做大的改变,至少我会考虑该如何修正自己正在做的一些事情。
我们时常会遇到陌生人,并感到疏远或厌恶。尽管我们不想去相信,不容易也不想去深究,但是弄清楚别人的哪些特质在自己身上有所体现是非常有意义的一课,这也正是增强自我意识的另一个途径。