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Stage 56 bar tricks
第56关，吧台小戏法
So here is how it is going to work.
下面我讲一下规则
I'm going to bring out a few people to perform their incredible feats.
我会邀请一些人进行才艺展示
If you guys think it is fantastic and amazing they get to stay here at the bar.
如果你们认为表演的好或者很惊艳，他们就可以留下
If you think it's disgusting and grossing and you are not intending at the least,
如果你们认为表演很恶心，难以接受，觉得一点儿都不搞笑
then our crack security staff who are here.
我们有训练有素的安保人员
They are crack security staff. They are not two guys who work in our office.
就是他们，他们可不是天天呆在办公室的普通上班族
They are. They are. They are trained killers, OK?
他们是……他们可是训练有素的杀手
They will usher them out of the studio to never return again.
他们会把不合格的人赶出演播厅，让他们再也回不来
So what do you say? You want to see some bar tricks?
你们觉得怎么样？想看吧台戏法吗
Let's bring out our first contestants.
让我们有请第一位选手
Hello, sir. Hello.
先生，你好
What is your name? Where are you from?
你叫什么名字？你来自哪里
My name's Jonathan from Lancaster, Pennsylvania.
我叫乔纳森，来自宾夕法尼亚州的兰开斯特
Thank you for coming and joining us. What is your bar trick?
感谢你的到来，你要表演什么
I'm going to remove my underwear without taking my pants off.
我不脱长裤可以把内裤脱下来
You're going to take off your underwear without removing your pants? That is correct. Yeah.
你不脱长裤就能把内裤脱下来？对
All right. Who wants to see it?
好的，有人想看吗
No!
不是吧
Oh, my god! That was—
天呐！真是—
What do you think, guys? Should he stay or should he go?
大家觉得怎么样？他可以留下来吗
Take a seat at the bar. Well done.
请在吧台边就坐。干得漂亮
Let's meet our next contestant!
有请下一位选手
Hello, sir.
先生你好
How are you? What's your name and where are you from?
你好，你叫什么名字，来自哪里
My name is Charles. I'm from Idaho.
我叫查尔斯，来自爱达华州
OK. Thank you for coming and joining us. What is your bar trick?
好的，欢迎你的到来。你要表演什么呢
I'm going to put suction cup darts in my eyes.
我能在眼睛上粘两个吸盘
I mean, the question is who wants to see it? Do you want to see it?
问题是会有人想看这个吗？你们想看吗？
All right. Go for it.
好的，开始吧
Oh, my—No! Oh!
哦天，别！天呐！
I don't know how you learned to do that!
你是怎么学的这个！
Oh, my god! What do you think, guys? Should he stay or should he go?
天呐！大家觉得怎么样？他能留下来吗
Oh, he's got to go. They are kicking him out.
哦……他得离开。他们把他踢出局了
Oh! Wow. Tough crowd. Tough crowd! He put—OK.
天呐，观众都好残忍，好残忍。他把——好吧
All right. Let's meet our next contestant.
好了。有请下一位
Hello, sir. What's your name and where are you from?
先生你好。你叫什么名字，来自哪里
Josh from Madison, Wisconsin.
我叫乔希，来自威斯康星州的麦迪逊
Oh, thanks. Big whoop there.
好的，欢呼声很激烈啊
An audible whoop from Wisconsin. And what is your trick?
来自威斯康星州的欢呼。你要表演什么
I'm going to make a fart sound with my mouth that goes forever.
我能用嘴模仿放屁的声音并且一直不停
Going to be a tough one for us to judge that, Josh. All right. Take it away.
你这个很难评价啊。好，开始吧
He hasn't actually started yet. That is actually me.
实际上他还没开始。刚刚那个声音是我
What do we think, guys? Should he stay or go?
大家怎么看？留下还是离开
They are kicking him out! Take your forever fart away from me!
他们把他踢出局了。快点走吧
Look at this guy. Sitting pretty smug.
看那个人，坐的真是自在哈
Look at him sitting on the bars. All right. OK. One more? Do you want one more?
看那个坐在吧台边那个人，还来一个吗？你们还想看吗
Let's bring in our next contestant.
有请下一个
Very well, sir. What is your name and where are you from?
好的。你叫什么名字，来自哪里
My name's George the Giant. I'm from Bakers Field, California.
我叫大个子乔治，来自加利福尼亚的贝克尔斯菲市
OK, George. Now what is your bar trick?
好，你要表演什么
I drink milk a little bit differently than normal people.
我喝牛奶的方式跟普通人有点儿不一样
OK. You have certainly revved the crowd up. OK, George. Go for it.
好的，观众有点儿激动。开始吧，乔治
When I was a kid, I loved crazy straws. I thought it was the interesting thing in the world.
我小时候，特别喜欢吸管，我觉得吸管是世界上最好玩的东西
But then I got older and I wanted to be something different.
我长大后就想玩点儿不一样的
I wanted to be the world's biggest crazy straw and this is how I did it.
我想做成世界上最长的吸管，就是这个
OK, leave it free. A little bit long.
好，松一下，放长一点儿
Now it is not a straw unless someone drinks out of it. No, I'm good.
没有人在这头吸得话它就不是一根吸管。不用了，谢谢
Don't make me laugh! Milk will come out my nose!
别逗我笑，我一笑牛奶会从鼻子里喷出来的
What do you think, folks? Should he stay or should he go?
大家怎么想？留下还是离开
George, take a seat at the bar. Well done. That was stage 56 bar tricks.
乔治，在吧台边就坐吧。干得不错。这就是56关，吧台小戏法。
If you have a bar trick and you think you're good enough to come sit here at the bar just tweet us at @latelateshow.
如果你有足够好的玩法，能让你坐上吧台边的位置的话，请在推特上给@深夜秀发消息。
We would love to see you here, and show everything you have got.
我们很希望能够在这里看到你的才艺
