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1. If I had to select awordthatbest describes the majority of American parents,that wordwould be guilt-ridden. How sad it is toseeparents becomethewilling victims of the "give-me game", only to discover that, no matter what theydo, it isn't enough. In the end, they are despised for their lack of firmness andblamedwhentheirspoiled children get in trouble.Withthis in mind, I shall firstanswer this question:" What do parents owe their children?" and Ishall start with whatthey don't owe them.
1. 如果我必须挑选取一个词，来描述美国的大多数父母，这个词便是“内疚”(guilt-ridden)。目睹父母们甘愿做“给我游戏”的牺牲者(the willing victims of the“give-me game”)是很令人伤心的。但我们发现无论他们怎么做，都还是不够。到最后（in the end），父母们都会因自己的软弱(for their lack offirmness)而受到蔑视(despised)，因他们宠坏的孩子(their spoiled children)惹出事端而受到责备(blamed)。认识到这些，我们应该首先回答这个问题：“父母欠子女些什么？”而我首先要从他们不欠子女什么谈起(start with)。
2. Parents don't owe their childrenevery minuteof their dayandevery ounce of their energy. They don't owe themround-the-clock car service, singing lessons, tennis lessons, expensivebicycles, a motorcycle or a carwhenthey reach sixteen,or a triptoEuropewhenthey graduate.
2. 父母不必把分分秒秒的时间（every minute of their day）、点点滴滴的精力(every ounce of their energy)都花在孩子们身上。不必时时准备（round-the-clock 全天候的）替他们开车外出，不必让他们上音乐课和网球课，不必给他们买很贵的自行车、摩托车、或在他们满十六岁时给他们买汽车，也不必在他们毕业时出钱让他们去欧洲旅游。
3. Itake the firm positionthatparents do not owe their children a college education. If they can afford it, fine; they can certainly sendthem to the best universities. But they must not feel guiltily if they can't. If the childrenreally want to go, they'll find a way. There areplenty ofloans and scholarships forthe bright andeager who can't afford to pay.
3. 我还确信(take the firm position)父母并不欠孩子高等教育的费用。如果付的起，很好，他们当然可以将子女送进一流大学。但付不起亦无须感到愧疚（guiltily）。假如子女们真愿意上大学，他们自己会找到办法。因为有许多(plentyof)为聪明好学(the bright and eager)而又无力支付学费的年轻人设立的贷款项目(loans)和奖学金(scholarships)。
4. After children marry, their parents do not owethem adown paymenton ahouseor moneyfor the furniture. They do not have an obligation to baby-sit or to taketheir grandchildren in their housewhenthe parents wereon vacation. If they want to do it,it mustbe considereda favor, not an obligation.
4. 孩子结婚后，父母无须为他们分期付款买房子而出底金(a down payment，首付)，无须为他们购买家具，也不一定要照顾孙辈，或是在子女旅行时看管孙儿孙女。倘若父母乐意这么做，子女应把这看作（be considered）恩惠而不是义务。
5.In myopinion, parents do not owe their children an inheritance,no matter how much moneythey have. One of the surest ways to produce a loafer isto let children knowthattheir future is assured.
5. 在我看来，无论父母多么有钱，都不一定要给子女一笔遗产。让子女知道自己前途已有保障无疑最能使他们变为懒虫(loafer)。
6. Do parents owe their childrenanything? Yes, they owe thema great deal.
6. 那么，父母难道就不欠子女什么了吗？不，欠得很多很多。
7. One of their chief obligations is to give theirchildren a sense of personal worth of self-esteem is the basis of a goodmental health. A youngster, whoisconstantlymade tofeel stupid and unworthy,constantlycomparedtobrighter brothers, sisters orcousins, will become so unsure, so afraid of failing,thathe (or she) won'ttryat all. Of course, theyshould be correctedwhenthey do wrong;this is the way children learn. But the criticisms shouldbe balanced withpraises, preferably with a smileand a kiss. No child is evertoo oldto be hugged. Parents owe their childrenfirmguidance andconsistentdiscipline. It isfrighteningfor a youngsterto feelthatheis in charge of himself;it'slikebeingin a car without brakes. The parentswho say "No"when other parents say "Yes"sends a double message. He isalso saying: "I love you, and Iamready torisk your anger, because I don't want you toget into trouble."
7.父母最主要的责任之一就是使孩子们尊重自己的价值。因为只有自尊自重才是健康的精神状态(a good mental health)的基础。如果总让孩子感到自己愚蠢无为(stupid and unworthy)，总是把他与聪明的兄弟姐妹比较，他就会变得缺乏信心，惧怕失败，结果(that)连尝试一下的勇气都没有了。当然，孩子有错误应当及时纠正，这样孩子才能有所长进。不过有批评也须有表扬，微笑和亲吻是比较好的方式。孩子再大也可以拥抱。(No child is ever too oldto be hugged.)父母有义务对孩子进行不间断的引导和管束。让十几岁的孩子觉得自己可以随心所欲(he is in charge of himself)是危险的，那就和坐在没有刹车的汽车里一样。当别的父母让孩子放任自流时，管束孩子的父母实际上让孩子接收到了一种双重信息。在说“不行”的同时，他们的意思也包含了：“我们爱你。我们知道你会生气，但我们不愿让你陷入困境（get into trouble）。”
8. Parents owe their childrensomereligious training. The factthatso many strangecults are enjoying such success is proof thatchildrenfeel the need forsomething spiritual in their life.
8.父母有义务给予孩子一些宗教训练。事实上，很多奇怪的宗教团体享受着成功，这正说明了孩子们在他们的生活中，需要（feel the need for）一些精神上的东西。
9. Parents owe their children a comfortable feelingabouttheir body, and enough information about sexto balancethe misinformation thatthey willsurely receive from theirfriends.
9.父母也有义务注意孩子的身心健康，教给孩子必要的性知识，使他能够抵御(to balance)那些将来无疑会从朋友们那儿得到的错误概念(misinformation)。
10. Parents owetheir childrenprivacy and respectfor theirpersonal belongings. Thismeansnotborrowingthings without permission,not readingdiaries and mail,notlooking throughpurses, pockets, and drawers. If a mother feelsthatshe must read her daughter's diarytoknow what is going on, the communication between them must beprettybad.
10.父母还应给予孩子们个人空间，尊重属于他的物品。这包括未经孩子同意不使用他的东西。不看他的日记和信件，不检查他的钱包、抽屉或衣袋。倘若一位母亲感到不看女儿的日记就不知道女儿的情况时，她们之间的关系便已到了相当(pretty)糟糕的地步了。
11. Parents owe their childrena set of solid valuesaround which to build their lives.This meansteaching them to respectthe rights and opinions of others;it means being respectful to elders, toteachers, and to the law.The bestway toteach such values is by example. A child who is lied to will lie. A childwho sees his parents steal tools fromthe factory or towels from a hotelwill thinkthatit is all right to steal. A youngster who sees no laughterand no lovein the homewillhave a difficult timelaughingand loving.
11.最后，父母还有责任教给子女一系列处世准则，包括教育他们尊重别人的权利与意见，尊重长辈(be respectful tosb. 尊敬某人)，尊重师长，遵守纪律。而最好的教育方法便是以身作则(by example)。受到骗的孩子(a child who is lied to)会去骗人。孩子若看到家长从工厂里偷工具或在旅馆里偷毛巾便会以为偷窃不是错事。在家里看不见家长的笑脸，得不到爱抚的孩子将来很难变得开朗（laughing）和友爱(loving)。
12.No childasks to be born. If you bring a life into the world, you owe the childrensomething. And if you give him his due, he'll havesomething of valueto pass along to yourgrandchildren.
12.没有任何孩子是自己要求出世的。倘若你将一个生命带到世界上来，你便对他负有义务。如果你给予了他应得的，他也将会把一些有价值的东西传给你的孙辈们。
