CHAPTER XX
A Plea
WHEN the newly-married pair came home, the first person who appeared, to offer his congratulations, was Sydney Carton. They had not been at home many hours, when he presented himself. He was not improved in habits, or in looks, or in manner; but there was a certain rugged air of fidelity about him, which was new to the observation of Charles Darnay.
He watched his opportunity of taking Darnay aside into a window, and of speaking to him when no one overheard.
`Mr. Darnay,' said Carton, `I wish we might be friends.'
`We are already friends, I hope.'
`You are good enough to say so, as a fashion of speech; hut, I don't mean any fashion of speech. Indeed, when I say I wish we might be friends, I scarcely mean quite that, either.'
Charles Darnay--As was natural--Asked him, in all good-humour and good-fellowship, what he did mean?
`Upon my life,' said Carton, smiling, `I find that easier to comprehend in my own mind, than to convey to yours. However, let me try. You remember a certain famous occasion when I was more drunk than--than usual?'
`I remember a certain famous occasion when you forced me to confess that you had been drinking.'
`I remember it too. The curse of those occasions is heavy upon me, for I always remember them. I hope it may be taken into account one day, when all days are at an end for me! Don't be alarmed; I am not going to preach.'
`I am not at all alarmed. Earnestness in you is anything but alarming to me.'
`Ah!' said Carton, with a careless wave of his hand, as if he waved that away. `On the drunken occasion in question (one of a large number, as you know), I was insufferable about liking you, and not liking you. I wish you would forget it.'
`I forgot it long ago.'
`Fashion of speech again! But, Mr. Darnay, oblivion is not so easy to me, as you represent it to be to you. I have by no means forgotten it, and a light answer does not help me to forget it.'
`If it was a light answer,' returned Darnay, `I beg your forgiveness for it. I had no other object than to turn a slight thing, which, to my surprise, seems to trouble you too much, aside. I declare to you on the faith of a gentleman, that I have long dismissed it from my mind. Good Heaven, what was there to dismiss! Have I had nothing more important to remember, in the great service you rendered me that day?'
`As to the great service,' said Carton, `I am bound to avow to you, when you speak of it in that way, that it was mere professional claptrap. I don't know that I cared what became of you, when I rendered It.--Mind! I say when I rendered it; I am speaking of the past.'
`You make light of the obligation,' returned Darnay, `but I will not quarrel with your light answer.'
`Genuine truth, Mr. Darnay, trust me! I have gone aside from my purpose; I was speaking about our being friends. Now, you know me; you know I am incapable of all the higher and better flights of men. If you doubt it, ask Stryver, and he'll tell you so.'
`I prefer to form my own opinion, without the aid of his.'
`Well! At any rate you know me as a dissolute dog who has never done any good, and never will.'
`I don't know that you "never will."'
