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It's, like, the best one they make, I just can't get it to work. I'll figure it out.
这款是市面上最棒的一台了，可怎么弄都飞不起来。我来弄吧。
It streams HD video straight to your phone while it's flying.
这玩意能边飞边串流高清影片到你手机上。
Nice. Where were you when I was single?
赞。我单身的时候，这小宝贝在哪呢？
Okay, we should leave in about an hour. You all packed?
我们一小时内就得出发。你东西收拾好了吗？
Uh, yeah, I just need to throw in a few last minute things, you know, makeup, underwear, clothes.
差不多，出发前再加几件东西进去就行。就化妆品 、内衣裤 、衣服那些。
If your bathroom floor counts as a carry-on, you're packed.
如果你的浴室地板能算手提行李，那你算收拾完毕了。
Leonard, have you ever given a high school commencement speech before?
莱纳德，你以前有在高中毕业典礼致辞过吗？
Nope. It's pretty exciting. Aren't you afraid of being blinded? How would I be blinded?
没有。挺让人激动的。你不怕被弄瞎吗？我为什么会被弄瞎？
At the end of the ceremony, all the students throw those pointy hats in the air. It's all pomp and circumstance until someone loses an eye.
在毕业典礼的最后，学生都会把四方尖角帽抛上天空。场面还会挺有气势，直到有人被戳瞎眼。
I'll take my chances. Fine. I wonder if they make "I told you so" cards in braille.
我乐意赌一把。随你。你说有没有卖"我早说了"盲人用的点字版卡片。
Look, the problem with commencement speeches is that they're boring. Ooh, do you own a T-shirt cannon?
毕业典礼演讲最大的问题是都很无聊。你有能发射T恤的T恤大炮吗？
Why would he own a T-shirt cannon? I don't know. Why do I own one?
他没事为啥会有T恤大炮？不知道啊，但为啥我有咧？
I think it's really nice that you're sharing this experience with Penny.
我觉得你很贴心，愿意带佩妮分享这样的机会。
Mm, I thought it'd be fun to show her my old stomping grounds. I even know the exact spot where they used to stomp me.
我觉得带她去我的母校地盘看看，应该蛮有意思。我还记得我是在哪块"地盘"被人踩呢。
Well, now you get to go back as a successful scientist.
但现在你能以成功科学家身份衣锦还乡啊。
With a beautiful girl on your arm. And a pointy hat sticking out of your eyeball
手里搂着美女。眼里还插着一顶四方尖角帽。
How'd you get ready so fast?
你怎么能这么快就准备好呢？
Oh, I pack light. Once, I got through an entire spring break with nothing but a long T-shirt and a belt.
我轻装上阵嘛。有一年的春假，我回家就带了一件长T恤跟腰带。
Why did you need a belt? It's called an evening look. I've never been to New Jersey before.
你为啥会需要腰带？那叫晚装好吗。我从来没去过新泽西呢。
It gets a bad rap from shows like Jersey Shore and Real Housewives.
电视节目把它名声搞臭了。比如《泽西海滩》或《贵妇的真实生活》。
So it's not really like that? No, it's like that. Well, I'm excited to show you around.
所以实情不是那样吗？没，还真的就像那样。但还是很期待能带你到处看看。
You think we'll have time to visit your mom over there?
你觉得我们会有时间去探望你妈吗？
Yes. We'll also have time to put my junk in a garlic press, but I'm not doing that either. I just got an alert. Our flight's been canceled.
有啊。还时间把我的鸡鸡放进压蒜器呢，但我也不会因为有时间就做啊。刚收到短信提醒，我们的班机被取消了。
What? Yeah, looks like there's a big storm all up the East Coast.
什么？东海岸这里好像有个很大的台风。
Well, can we get on another airline? I don't think so.
能换别家的班机吗？貌似不行。
So, that's it? We're not going? I guess not. Well, that sucks.
所以就这样？不去了吗？看来是。也太衰了吧。
Yeah. I worked hard on that speech, too.
是啊。我可是非常认真准备这段致辞呢。
Oh. You could tell it to me. Oh, thank you, but I'm okay.
你可以念给我听啊。谢谢啊，不过不用啦。
Are you sure? I could pretend I'm a high school cheerleader who can't control herself around esteemed alumni.
你确定吗？我可以假装我是高中拉拉队长，对成功的校友没有任何抵抗力哦。
Greetings, distinguished cheerleaders.
杰出的拉拉队员们，你们好吗。
Okay, the WiFi extender is on, the camera's on, they're both on the same network; we should be getting an image.
无线网扩展器开启了，摄像机也开启了，而且两者都连到了同个网，我们应该能收到画面了啊。
All I see is a black screen. And my own reflection. I look sad.
我只能看到黑色的屏幕。以及我自己的倒影。我看起来好伤心。
Maybe we should recalibrate it. All right.
可能我们得重新校准一下。好吧。
Step one: rapidly flip the calibration switch from the fully up to the fully down positions for at least ten times.
第一步：快速扳动校准开关，从最上方扳到最下方，此动作最少重复十次。
It actually says "at least"? Yeah.
上面真写了"最少"吗？对啊。
Why would they say "at least"? Is it ten toggles? Is it 100 toggles? You know? Is it 1,000 toggles? 10,000 toggles? 100,000 toggles? Sheldon!
它为啥会写"最少"啊？那到底是扳十次？还是扳一百次呢？还是扳一千次？一万次呢？还是十万次？谢尔顿！
You see where I'm going with this.
你懂我接下来要说的是什么。
Just flip the switch until the lights on the drone change to solid yellow.
你就快点扳就是了，直到无人机的灯变成长亮的黄色。
All right, that seems simple enough. Initiating calibration sequence. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
好吧，这步看起来不难。启动校准程序。一，二，三，四，五，六，七，八，九，十。
Well, I suppose ten is technically "at least ten." But they're still getting at least one angry letter.
看来技术上来说，十等于"最少十下"。但他们"最少"会收到一封愤怒的投诉信。
Now I rotate it horizontally on its center axis until the lights turn green.
现在沿着中轴水平旋转它，直到灯号变成绿色。
Initiating rotation sequence. Don't look at me, initiate. What does red and yellow mean?
启动旋转程序。看我干嘛，启动啊。这红跟黄灯代表什么意思？
It means the calibration failed. We have to start over.
代表校准失败。我们得从头再来。
Oh. Very well. Reinitiating calibration sequence. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten...eleven. It's a good thing I didn't send that letter.
好吧。重新启动校准程序。一，二，三，四五，六，七，八，九，十...十一。还好那封信我没有寄出。
Hello, Daddy. What's up? Not much, just wanted to see how my son's doing.
老爸，最近还好吗？还行，就想看看我儿子最近好不好。
Very well, thank you. Are you still dating that dermatologist?
很好啊，谢谢关心。你还在跟那位皮肤科医生约会吗？
If you could feel how soft my skin is, you wouldn't have to ask.
如果你能摸到我的皮肤多柔嫩，你就不会问了。
Oh, and there's something else I wanted to ask you. Why did you spend a month's rent on a toy helicopter? !
我还有另一件事想问你。你为啥把一个月的房租钱拿去买玩具飞机？！
Oh, you're where that bill goes.
原来那张账单是寄给你了啊。
I'm tired of indulging your foolish lifestyle. It's time you learned responsibility. And the only way to teach you that is to cut off your allowance.
我受够了纵容你的白痴生活。是时候让你学会负起责任了。而唯一能教会你这事的方法就是不再给你零用钱。
No, Daddy, no! There are lots of other ways to teach me responsibility. I know, you can give me an egg and make me take care of it for a week!
不行，爸，不行！能让我学会负责任的方法多了去了。比如你可以给我颗鸡蛋，让我照顾好它整整一周啊！
No, my mind is made up. Starting now, you're on your own.
不必了，我已经决定了。从现在开始，你自食其力吧。
But, Daddy, II miss my family so much, and with you and Mummy getting a divorce, I feel sad and empty.
可是爸比，我好想家人，你跟妈咪又离婚了，我好不开心又好空虚。
Buying a little toy every now and then helps me fill that void. So while I can't hug you every day, flying that helicopter...I'm cutting you off.
偶尔买个小玩具能帮助我填满心中的空虚。所以在我不能每天拥抱你的日子里，只要放飞那台直升机...我要断了你。
Just to be clear, financially or mid-sentence?
我确认一下：是断钱，还是挂断电话？
No red and yellow, no red and yellow. It's green! Yay! We did it!
别跳红黄灯啊，别跳黄红灯啊。变绿了！太棒了！我们成功了！
God, if it's this much fun to rotate, imagine when we fly it.
天啊，光捧着转就这么有意思，等飞起来还得了。
Okay, now all I have to do is rotate it vertically until the lights turn off.
好了，现在我只需垂直旋转机体，直到绿灯熄灭。
Oh, no! All right, playtime's over. Let's open this baby up.
不！好了，娱乐时间结束。咱们把这宝贝拆开吧。
Won't that void the warranty?
拆开就不能保修了吧？
Sheldon, I have a master's degree in engineering. I wipe my bottom with warranties. Except for AppleCare. That pays for itself in the long run.
谢尔顿，我有一个工程学硕士学位。保修卡只配给我擦屁股。苹果的保修除外。从长远来看，维修费很快会回本。
Hi. Hey, where'd you go? I got you a little something to cheer you up.
嗨。你去哪儿了？我给你买了点东西，让你开心开心。
Really? Sex last night, pancakes this morning. Am I dying? Just open it.
真的吗？昨晚的爱爱，今早的饼饼，我这是要死的节奏吗？快打开看看。
A cap and gown? Why do I need a cap and gown?
四方帽和长袍？我为什么会需要这俩玩意？
Because you are giving your commencement speech.
因为你要在毕业典礼上致辞。
What are you talking about?
你在说什么呀？
I called your old high school and convinced them to let you give your speech over Skype.
我打给你以前的高中，说服他们让你通过视频聊天在典礼上致辞。
Really? That's amazing! And you gave me the robes to give it in. Thank you.
真的吗？太棒了！你还特意买了长袍让我致辞时穿。谢谢。
Yeah, now about those, uh, they came from a costume shop, and all they had left was sexy graduate, so they...might be a little short.
对哦，关于长袍我有话说。这是我在一家道具店买的，店里只剩下性感毕业生装束了，所以长袍...可能会有点短。
Short and sexy, that's my wheelhouse. Yeah!
又短（矮）又性感，我的强项嘛。没错！
Boy, oh, boy, that's a lot of pieces. You know what they all do, right?
哎呀呀，零件还真多呀。你都知道是干嘛的，对吧？
Yes, of course. What about this one?
当然，那还用说。那这个是干嘛的？
Well, I...how familiar are you with miniaturized integrated logic circuits?
这个嘛...你对小型集成逻辑电路熟悉吗？
Not very. That right there is a miniaturized integrated logic circuit.
不太熟。那你手里拿着的正是这玩意。
So, can you get it working?
那你能修好它吗？
I'm an MIT-trained engineer. I've built components for the space station.
我可是麻省理工毕业的工程师。我还为太空站出过一份力呢。
I thought the zero-gravity toilet didn't work.
我还以为那个零重力厕所不能用呢。
It worked fine, it just wasn't designed for Russian cosmonauts and their potato-based diet.
能用好吗，只不过设计不适合俄罗斯宇航员以及他们的全是马铃薯的饮食。
Hey, guys. Hello. I have to return the helicopter. My father...What did you do? !
你好啊。你来啦。我得把直升飞机退了。我爸...你们俩干了什么好事？！
Well, don't worry. He went to MIT. He can solve any problem, as long as it doesn't originate in a Russian man's colon.
别担心。他是麻省理工毕业的。他可以解决任何问题，只要不是来自俄罗斯人的结肠就行。
