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Max, guess what.
麦克斯，你猜怎么了
Caroline, you're not supposed to tell me I'm on intervention until the actual intervention.
卡洛琳，批斗会还没开始之前，你不能先告诉我我要被批斗啊
I just got offered $600 to stay at Steven and Michael's apartment
史蒂夫和迈克要出远门，他们刚说给我600块，
and watch their dogs while they're out of town for two days.
让我去他们家呆两天，帮看家兼养狗
Why would anyone pay $600 to watch dogs for two days?
怎么会有人愿意花600块请人帮忙养狗呀
Well, because, you know, they want a certain amount of attention to be paid to the...
因为...他们希望自家的狗得到悉心的照料...
Just say it, they're gay and they think their dogs are their children.
不就是基佬们都把小狗当成自己的孩子养嘛
Max, you have to stop doing this.
麦克斯，别再说这种话了
I'll stop when they stop.
他们不基，我就不说
This is so exciting. It'll be like a paid vacation at an amazing hotel.
我好兴奋啊。这就跟在高档酒店带薪度假一样
And I need to get as far away from here as possible.
而且我也想离这地方越远越好
Oh, where do they live? Four blocks away.
他们住哪里？四个街区外
Well, have a good time.
祝你玩得开心
And while you're four blocks away having your vacation, I'll be home maybe taking a little masturbacation.
当你在四个街区外爽爽地度假时，我会在家动手给自己"爽爽"
What are you talking about? I wouldn't go on vacation without you.
你说什么呢？我怎么可能抛下你，自己去
We'll split the dog money to cover the shifts we take off from the diner.
平分看狗的钱，整好够补上请假时间的薪水
Well, thanks, but I don't do that thing where you take off work.
谢了，不过我不是请假去玩的人
"Hi, I'm Max, I can't go to a fancy apartment and have fun.
"你好，我是麦克斯。我不爱去豪华公寓享乐
I'd rather work in a steel mill and sing Bruce Springsteen songs."
我宁愿留在炼钢厂边工作边哼歌"
Max, when was the last time you had a vacation?
麦克斯，你上次度假是什么时候
Never. Unless you count the summer I hid under the front porch from my mom's new boyfriend.
没休过。除非算上有一年夏天我在前门阳台下，躲我老妈新男人那次
We really need to get out of here. This is more than just spring break.
我们真得脱离这个环境。这不只是春假
It's a break from the diner, from the cupcake business, from being poor, from everything depressing right now.
而是暂时远离餐馆，远离小蛋糕事业，远离贫穷，远离一切不顺心的人事物
Things aren't that depressing.
哪有这么凄惨啊
Yeah, well, I'm sure we have all done things with men in kitchens that we are not proud of.
我想大家都有过在厨房里跟男人干一些羞于启齿的事
