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Marry her.
娶她吧。
Okay. Here's a good one for you. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler?
这个问题有意思。你觉得罗斯跟钱德勒打架谁会赢？
I can't answer that. Chandler's my husband.
我没办法回答，钱德勒是我老公。
So Ross? Yeah.
所以罗斯会赢？-对。
Hey, beautiful. Hello, handsome.
嘿，美女。-你好，帅哥。
Oh, God. Look at you two. So when did you guys meet?
天啊。瞧你们真甜蜜。你们什么时候认识的？
Two weeks ago. Two weeks? That's it?
两个星期前。-就两个星期？
Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, and it’s not like me to do something so impulsive, but she’s just so perfect, and we have so much in common.
我知道这听起来很疯狂。我不是个冲动的人，但是，她很完美，我们有很多共通点。
Oh, really?
真的吗？
We're both teachers.
我们都是老师。
And we were both in the Peace Corps.
我们都参加了和平工作团。
Peace Corps, really?
和平工作团，真的吗？
In fact when we were building houses in Uruguay, we were, we were just two towns apart and we never met.
我们在乌拉圭做义工时只相距两个小镇远，却从来没见过面。
Yeah. It wasn't a town when I got there, but it was a town when I left.
对，我刚到时那里一片荒芜。但我离开时那里已经是个小镇了。
Shall we get me really drunk? Sure.
我们去一醉方休吧？-没问题。
Howdy, doodie.
你好，粪团。
That’s funny. Yeah. Y’ know you’re the funniest man here in a pink bunny costume his wife made him wear.
真搞笑。你是屋里最搞笑的家伙，穿着你太太帮你挑的兔子装。
Relax, man. Relax. You're looking a little flushed.
别激动，你看起来有点脸红。
Hey-hey-hey, I think we might find out the answer to our question.
我们的问题看来有解了。
What question?
什么问题？
Monica and I were talking about who could kick whose ass in a fight, you or Ross?
莫妮卡跟我在讨论你跟罗斯打架谁会赢。
There's no question.
那不成问题。
So you think Ross too?
所以你也觉得罗斯会赢？
You picked Ross?
你竟然选罗斯？
Ross is really strong. He's the strongest out of all three of you. Except for Joey.
罗斯真的很强壮。他是你们三个之中最壮的，乔伊除外。
I can't believe you didn't pick me.
我不敢相信你没有选我。
In her defense, she's right. I am stronger. I would destroy you.
她说得对，我的确比你壮。我能灭了你。
Oh really? You think you're stronger? Why don't you prove it?
真的吗？你觉得你比我壮吗？你为什么不证明给大家看？
I'll prove it. I'll prove it like a theorem!
我会证明给你看，像证明公理一样！
Wait-wait! ! Okay, stop it! Stop it! Stop! Now listen, no one’s gonna fight in this apartment.
好了，别打了别打了！别打了！谁都不准在我家打架。
Hey Monica! People came to see a fight, let's give them one what they came for!
莫妮卡，大家就是来看打架的，快打给他们看吧，别让人家失望。
You guys could arm-wrestle.
你们可以掰手腕。
Yeah, listen to the slutty nurse.
听风骚护士的话。
You're going down.
你死定了。
Oh, yeah? You're going further down, downtown!
是吗？你才死定了！永世不得超生！
Seriously, guys, the trash talk is embarrassing.
说真的，你们的叫阵台词太丢人了。
Gunther, you brought candy. Thank you so much for picking this up. You are so sweet.
甘瑟，你买到糖果了。太谢谢你了。你真的是太棒了！
Really?
真的吗？
Honey, someday you are gonna make some man the luckiest guy in the world.
总有一天你会让某个男人成为全世界最幸运的男朋友。
Trick or treat.
不给糖就捣蛋。
Hi! Wow! There you go.
我得走了。嗨，拿去吧。
My friend Lewis told me you were giving out money.
我朋友路易斯说你会给钱。
Oh yeah, we were but umm, now we’ve got candy.
没错，但现在我们有糖果了。
I’d rather have the money.
我更想要钱。
Well, that-that’s not your choice. Happy Halloween!
那由不得你来选，万圣节快乐！
This isn't fair.
这不公平。
Well is it fair that all you did was put on a cape and I gotta give you free stuff?
你只要披上斗篷我就要白送你东西，那公平吗？
Shut up!
闭嘴！
You shut up!
你才闭嘴！
You can't tell me to shut up.
你不能叫我闭嘴。
Uh, I think I just did. And uh-oh, here it comes again. Shut up!
我刚刚就说了啊。我又想说了。闭嘴！
Rach. Yeah I know—I’m good—I got it!
瑞秋。-我可以，我很厉害的。
Now wait a minute, I’ve got one more thing I have to say to you…oh right! Shut up!
等一下，我还有一句话要告诉你。对，就是闭嘴。
You're a mean old woman.
你是个恶毒的老女人。
No! Wait no! Shut up—I mean don’t cry! Let me get my checkbook!
等一下！闭……别哭了，我去拿支票簿。
Look honey, you don’t have to do this, okay? It’s the strength you have inside that means the most to me.
亲爱的，你不必这么做。你强大的内心才是我最看重的。
You’re loyal, you’re honest, and you have integrity! That’s the kind of strength that I want in the man that I love!
你既忠心又老实，而且还为人正直。这才是我希望在深爱的男人身上看到的品质。
That means nothing to me. Come on!
那对我来说毫无意义。来吧！
Hi, liar. Hey!
嗨，骗子。-嗨。
You know, the only reason he's marrying you is because he thinks all the things you were saying about yourself were true.
你要知道，他之所以会娶你是因为他以为你说的话都是真的。
Well they could be true. But they're not.
有可能是真的。-但你在说慌。
Yeah. It's a fine line.
真假只有一线之隔。
Why are you lying to him? I don't know.
你为什么要说谎？-我不知道。
He said he did all this stuff and then I said I did it too and he got so excited, it was really fun.
他跟我说自己做过的事，我说我也做过。他就变得很兴奋，我觉得很好玩。
Honey?
亲爱的？
It's a filthy, disgusting habit, and I want you to quit now!
这是个坏习惯，我要你马上戒烟！
She's helped so many people to quit smoking.
她帮助很多人戒过烟。
Y’ know, we’d really better get going.
我们得走了。
Oh right, you’ve got a church group meeting tonight. Right.
你今晚还得参加教会的聚会。-对。
It was nice meeting you. You too.
很高兴能见到你。-我也是。
And, Ursula, it was really nice meeting you tonight!
厄休拉，我很高兴今晚能见到你。
Pheebs, come on! Bunny versus doodie. We're waiting!
菲比快来！兔子大战粪团。我们在等你！
Okay. Okay, guys. One match, winner take all.
好吧，一次决胜负，赢的人是英雄。
Oh wait-wait! What does the winner get?
等一下，赢家有什么奖品？
Pride.And dignity.
骄傲。-还有自尊。
Okay, if you say so. All right, ready, set, go!
好吧，你说了算。好吧，就位，预备，开始。
Wow, they're both really strong.
他们都很强。
Or equally weak.
或是一样弱。
Oh, God. Chandler's making his sex face.
天啊，钱德勒露出他的性感表情了。
So you getting tired?
你累了吗？
No. I could do this all day.
不累，我可以撑一整天。
Yeah. Me too.
对，我也是。
Getting a little tired, though. God, I'm exhausted.
但我有点累了。-天啊，我累坏了。
Look this is starting to look really bad for me. Okay? Mona, Mona’s standing right over there. Oh God, she’s talking to Joey! You gotta let me win!
这样会让我面子上过不去。蒙娜就站在那里。天啊她在跟乔伊说话！你得让我赢！
No way! If anything you've gotta let me win! My wife thinks I'm a wimp!
没门！应该是你让我赢才对！我老婆以为我是软蛋！
Hey, at least you have a wife! I-I keep getting divorces and knocking people up! And I’m dressed as doody.
至少你还有老婆。我三番五次地离婚，搞大别人的肚子。我还打扮得跟个粪团一样。
You're Spud-nik.
你是史波多尼克。
Come on, who are we kidding? I'm doodie. Please? She's watching.
少来了，我骗谁呢？我就是粪团。拜托，她在看我。
Fine. Thanks.
好吧。-谢了。
Oh, no. Oh, yeah!
不要啊！-太棒了！
Yay! My hero!
我的英雄！
You're a weird lady.
你真是个怪女人。
Hey. Ursula said she left her purse.
厄休拉忘了拿皮包。
What a relief. It has all the numbers of the people in her prayer chain.
这下放心了，里面装了她祈祷团朋友的电话。
Sure it does. Yeah, yeah.
是啊。
Well, I guess I’ll see you at the wedding.
我们婚礼上见了。
Umm listen, I don’t think…I don’t think I’m gonna make it to the wedding. So I just want to wish you all the luck in the world.
我可能没办法去参加婚礼了。祝你们好运。
I think we'll be okay. Besides it’s so perfect, and she's been saving herself for me.
我想我们会幸福的。一切都很完美，她一直为我保持处女之身。
Okay, I can't let you do this. She's lying to you.
我不能让你这么被骗下去了。她在说谎。
What?
什么？
She is lying. And I bet I could prove it. Excuse me.
她在说谎。我可以证明。稍等。
Okay. Okay. Yeah—Not a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan.
好吧，不是祈祷团。但看起来像是银行的平面图。
Okay, here’s the name tag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress.
这是她在餐厅当女服务生的名牌。她不是老师，是女服务生。
All right, here’s her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this.
这是她的驾照，她总是在年龄上撒谎。
How old did she say she was? She told me she was 25.
她跟你说她几岁了？-她说自己25岁。
Oh, I almost don’t want to show this. Just remember I’m a minute younger.
我都不想拿给你看了。记住，我比她年轻一分钟。
I am so stupid. Of course she was lying! She’s not a teacher. There’s not such a thing as the top secret elementary school for the children of spies.
我太笨了。她当然是在撒谎！她不是老师。根本就没有"儿童间谍绝密小学"这种学校。
No. You’re not, you’re not stupid.
不，你不笨。
I'm not smart. I just wanted so much to be impulsive once. To be romantic.
我也不聪明。我只是想冲动一把。找点浪漫。
That's good. You should be impulsive and you should be romantic. Just...you did it with the wrong person.
很好，你想要冲动跟浪漫，这样没错。只是你找错了对象。
What?
怎么了？
It’s just so weird, two people look so much alike. And so different.
真的很奇怪，你们长得那么像。心地却完全不同。
Eric! Let's go!
艾力克，我们走吧！
Better go deal with it. Yeah, you should.
我得去解决这个问题。-没错，应该的。
Hurry up! I gotta pray!
快点，我得去祷告！
Well, I had to give the kid 50 bucks to stop crying.
我得给那孩子50块，他才不哭了。
That's not so bad.
那还不赖。
No, I also had to go to a couple houses with him as his girlfriend. Oh, I am just awful with children!
我还得当他的女朋友，陪他走家串户。我真的不会应付小孩子。
Come on! You’re good with kids. They’re just crazy on Halloween. Y’ know, they’re all greedy and hopped up on sugar!
你跟孩子们相处得很好。只是小孩子在万圣节都会抓狂。他们贪心地想多拿一些糖果。
Really? You think that’s all it is? Absolutely.
真的吗？就因为这个吗？-当然。
Halloween is the worst. Except for Christmas. And their birthdays.
万圣节最难搞了。除了圣诞节，跟他们的生日。
Kinda get a little crazy during the summer too. And any time they're hungry or sleepy.
他们在暑假也会抓狂。还有他们肚子饿跟想睡觉的时候。
Y’ know, kids are tough. Good luck with that.
小孩子很难缠，祝你好运。
Look, I wanted to tell I'm-I'm sorry you lost.
你输了，我很遗憾。
Listen, I've got a secret for ya. I let him win.
我得告诉你一个秘密，是我放水让他赢的。
Is that a secret or a lie.
那是秘密还是谎话？
No, I let him...Ross? Yeah?
不，我让他……罗斯？-什么事？
Would you tell her I let you win, please?
麻烦你告诉她我放水让你赢。
Oh. Yeah. Uh Chandler let me win. No, Chandler’s really strong. Oh my arm is so sore. Oh nurse!
是的，钱德勒"放水让我赢"。不，钱德勒真的好壮。我的手好酸。护士？
I am strong. I'll show you.
我很强壮，我要证明给你看。
Chandler, please.
钱德勒，拜托。
Oh what’s the matter? Are you scared?
怎么了？你害怕吗？
Let's go, big bunny!
放马过来吧，大兔子！
Okay. One, two, three. Go!
好的。一二三，开始！
I'm gonna kill myself!
我想自杀！
