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Chandler: Honey, there's really nothing to worry about.
亲爱的，根本没有什么需要担心的。
Monica: Ok.
好的。
Chandler: I'm serious!
我是说真的！
Monica: Ok!
好的！
Chandler: Merry Christmas.
圣诞快乐。
Monica: Merry Christmas.
圣诞快乐。
Chandler: Merry Christmas, you guys!
你们大家圣诞快乐！
Others: Yeah, Merry...Christmas.
圣诞快乐。
Phoebe: Blah blargah, blar-blab.
Blah blargah, blar-blab.
Chandler: The wife says "Hi!".
我老婆打招呼。
Wendy: Ah. Fun conversation?
啊。谈得愉快吗？
Chandler: Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, you know, just because you and I are alone, something is gonna happen.
嗯，她有一种奇怪的想法，认为……因为我们两个单独在一起，所以有事情会发生。
Wendy: Huh? Really? Hm, that'd be so terrible?
真的吗？那样很糟糕吗？
Chandler: This is probably the wrong thing to be worrying about, but, you're getting ham on my only tie.
我或许担心得不对，但是你把火腿沾上我唯一的领带了。
Chandler: Whoa-ho, back off, Missy!
哦吼，走开，小妞！
Wendy: Missy?
小妞？
Chandler: I don't know; I'm not used to girls making passes at me! Wait a minute...am I sexy in Oklahoma?
我不知道，我不习惯女孩子对我采取行动！等一下，我在奥克拉荷马算是性感的吗？
Wendy: You are to me...
你对我是的……
Chandler: No...no...No! Look, I'm, I'm married!
不不，不！听着，我已经结婚了！
Wendy: So? I'm married.
那又如何？我也结婚了。
Chandler: I'm happily married.
我的婚姻很幸福。
Wendy: Oh. What's that like?
喔。那是什么样的感觉呢？
Chandler: Right. So, I'm sorry, but...
是的，所以我很抱歉，但是……
Wendy: Seriously? Happily married. So that phone call before, that was...happy?
真的？婚姻很幸福？所以刚才那通电话叫做幸福？
Chandler: Well, look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid...or, in this case, right on money!
你知道，长期分开是很不容易的。她是有资格有点神经质的……而且针对这件事。她猜对了！
Chandler: You know, she know- she's amazing, and, beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, she'd kick your ass.
她很好、漂亮又聪明……而且如果她现在在这里，她一定会海扁你一顿的。
Chandler: Look, you're a really nice person, ham stealing and adultery aside.
听着，你是个好人，除了会偷火腿跟偷情之外。
Chandler: But, what I have with my wife is pretty great, so, nothing is ever gonna happen between us.
但是我跟我老婆的感情很好，所以我们之间是不可能的。
Wendy: Ok, let me ask you something: if what you and your wife have is so great, then why are you spending Christmas with me?
好的，让我问你一件事：如果你跟你老婆感情很好，那你怎么会跟我一起过圣诞节呢？
Chandler: I mean, you were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight!
今晚你是这屋子里最漂亮的女人！
Monica: Really?
真的吗？
Chandler: Are you kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms.
你不相信吗？在大部分的屋子里你都是最漂亮的女人。
Chandler: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
喔！喔！喔！这是怎么回事？我们刚刚亲吻了！我们在亲吻？
Monica: Well, not anymore.
嗯，以后不会有了。
Chandler: But we don't do that.
但是我们俩从来不会那样的。
Monica: I know, I just thought it would be fun.
我知道，我只是觉得那可能会很好玩。
Chandler: How drunk are you?
你有多醉呢？
Monica: Drunk enough that I know I wanna do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
我醉到让我想要这样做。但又没有醉到让你觉得占我便宜是有罪恶感的。
Chandler: That's the perfect amount!
真是醉到恰到好处！
Monica: You know what's weird?
你知道什么很奇怪吗？
Chandler: What?
什么？
Monica: This doesn't feel weird!
就是这感觉一点都不怪！
Chandler: I know.
我知道。
Monica: You're a really good kisser.
你真是接吻高手。
Chandler: Well, I have kissed over four women. You wanna get under the covers?
嗯，我吻过超过四个女人。你想要到棉被底下吗？
Monica: Hm-hmm!
好哇！
Chandler: Ok! Ok!
好的！好的！
Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
哇！你真快！
Chandler: It bodes well for me that speed impresses you.
得到你的赞赏，对我来说是好兆头。
Monica: We're gonna see each other naked.
我们将要看到彼此裸体了。
Chandler: Yep!
是的！
Monica: You wanna do it at the same time?
你想要一起看吗？
Chandler: Count of three?
数到三？
Monica: One!
一！
Chandler: Two!
二！
Monica: Two!
二！
Both: Three!
三！
Chandler: Well, I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.
我想我可以很肯定的说我们的友情已经完全被摧毁了。
Monica: Eh, we weren't that close anyway!
反正我们本来也没有很好！
Chandler: Eh!
呃！
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
你真的要跟那个男护士出去吗？
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
嗯，反正你跟我只是玩玩而已，所以我想，我也可以跟他玩玩。
Chandler: You know, I don't know if you've ever, looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary...
我不知道你有没有查过字典 “玩玩”是什么意思……
Chandler: Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together.
我有查过……专业的解释就是两个朋友……很在乎彼此，然后又做了很棒的爱，而且想要花更多的时间在一起。
Chandler: You know. But if you have this newfangled dictionary that gets you mad at me, then we have to, you know, get you my original dictionary.
如果你那新版的字典让你对我生气，那我们就只好帮你买我这本原版的字典。
Chandler: I am so bad at this.
我真是不会说话。
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
我认为你比你想的还棒。
Chandler: Really? Ok, so...
真的吗？好的，所以如果……
Monica: Know when to stop.
知道什么时候该停。
Chandler: You know, I sensed that I should stop.
我感觉到我应该停了。
Monica: So we're ok?
所以我们没事了吗？
Monica: Yeah.
是的。
Monica: Don't do the dance.
别跳那个舞。
Chandler: Right!
好的！
Monica: I can't get married until I get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.
我没有什么旧的、什么新的 、什么借来的、什么蓝色的。
Chandler: Ok, all right, all right, all right! Ok! Ok, here's something, here's something blue and new.
好的，好的！这是蓝色的，而且是新的。
Monica: You're so efficient. I love you!
你真是有效率。我爱你！
Chandler: Let's go!
我们走吧！
Monica: No-no-no, wait! We need something old!
不不，等一下！我们需要什么旧的东西！
Chandler: Oh, ok, I have a condom in my wallet that I've had since I was twelve.
好的，我有个保险套，我从十二岁就放在钱包里了。
Monica: That'll work!
那就可以拿来用了！
Chandler: I don't think so.
我可不认为。
Monica: Ok, now we just need something borrowed!
好了，现在我们需要一个借来的东西！
Chandler: Here just...take this.
这个，拿去。
Monica: It's stealing!
这是偷窃！
Chandler: We'll, we'll bring it back! Just, put it under your dress.
我们会归还的！塞到你礼服里。
Monica: Ohh.
哦哦。
Chandler: Ok, one thing at a time.
好了，事情一件一件照步骤来。
Monica: Listen, umm, I've been thinking, and, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding.
听着……我一直在想我要求把你所有的积蓄花在我们的婚礼上是很不公平的事。
Monica: I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
我是说，你工…… 你辛苦工作才存到的。
Chandler: Well.
嗯……
Monica: Well, you work for that.
好了，只是工作，没有辛苦。
Chandler: Look, I thought about it too, and, I'm sorry.
听着，我也有想过，而且……我很抱歉。
Chandler: I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.
我想我们应该将所有钱花在婚礼上。
Monica: You do? !
你真的觉得吗？
Chandler: Yeah, I'm putting my foot down.
是的，我彻底的想清楚了。
Chandler: Yeah, look, when I proposed, I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy, then, then that's what we're gonna do.
听着，当我求婚的时候，我告诉你我会尽一切能力让你快乐，而如果一个完美的婚礼能够让你快乐，那么……那就是我们必须要做的。
Monica: Oh, you're so sweet. Oh, but wait, what about our...what about the future and stuff?
你真的好贴心。但是等一下，那我们……那我们将来的计划呢？
Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff!
管他什么将来的计划！
Chandler: So we only have two kids, you know? We'll pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.
我们只生两个小孩就好了。然后我们再挑选我们喜欢的那一个，送他去念大学。
Monica: You thought about that?
你有想过我们的将来吗？
Chandler: Yeah.
有啊。
Monica: How many kids were we gonna have?
我们要生几个小孩呢？
Chandler: Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy.
四个，一个男生，双胞胎女生，然后再一个男生。
Monica: What else did you think about?
你还有想过什么呢？
Chandler: Well, stuff like where we'd live, you know?
嗯……像是我们要住的地方，你知道的。
Chandler: Like a, small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff.
在市中心外面的小房子，我们的孩子可以学习骑脚踏车。
Chandler: You know, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door.
我们可以养只猫，颈圈上有个铃铛……然后每次他经过小猫咪门的时候，我们就可以听到铃铛声。
Chandler: Of course, we'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
当然，我们会在车库上面留一间房间，让乔伊可以在那里养老。
Monica: You know what? I-I don't want a big, fancy wedding.
你知道吗？我不需要大型豪华的婚礼了。
Chandler: Sure you do.
你当然需要。
Monica: No, I want everything that you just said. I want a marriage.
不，我想要你刚刚说的一切。我只想要结婚。
Chandler: You sure?
你确定吗？
Monica: Uh-hmm.
嗯。
Chandler: I love you so much.
我好爱你。
Monica: I love you.
我爱你。
Rachel: Oohh, I love it!
喔，我太喜欢了！
Ross: Really? You're not gonna return it?
真的吗？你不会拿回去退吗？
Rachel: Well, not this second!
嗯，不会马上！
Phoebe: Hey, look, you guys, it's snowing!
嘿，你们瞧，下雪了！
Joey: Hey.
嘿。
Rachel: Aw.
嗷。
Rachel: Oh, wow, it's so beautiful...
哇，真漂亮 ……
Ross: Wow, it really is!
哇，真的是！
Monica:"Wendy" is a fat girl name.
温蒂是胖女生的名字。
Phoebe: Aren't we done with that?
我们还没有说够吗？
Monica: Ok, fine.
好啦，不说了。
Monica: Let's talk about snow.
我们来聊雪。
Monica: Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa, where my husband is having sex on a copying machine?
你们觉得我老公在影印机上面做爱的那个土尔沙有在下雪吗？
Chandler: Hey!
嘿！
Ross: Oh my god...
喔！我的天！
Joey: Hey-heeyyy Look at that, it's a Christmas miracle!
嘿……瞧瞧这，这真是圣诞奇迹！
Monica: What're you doing here?
你在这里做什么呢？
Chandler: I wanted to be with you.
我想要跟你在一起。
Chandler: I missed you so much.
我好想你。
Joey: Hey, hey, uh, who did you miss the most?
嘿嘿，你最想念谁呢？
Chandler: Monica.
莫妮卡。
Joey: Gotcha.
知道了。
Chandler: I never wanna leave you again!
我再也不要离开你了！
Monica: But I thought if you left, you get fired.
我以为如果你走了，会被炒鱿鱼的。
Chandler: Turns out they can't fire me. Because I quit.
他们没有办法炒我鱿鱼的。因为我不干了。
Monica: What?
什么？
Ross: What? You, you really quit your job?
什么？你？你真的辞职了？
Chandler: Yeah! It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you.
是的！那是份愚蠢的工作，而我无法忍受离开你。
Chandler: And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he really wants to do?
我为什么要当那个唯一必须做他不想要做的事的人？
Rachel: What do you really wanna do?
那你真的想做什么呢？
Chandler: I have not thought this through!
这件事我没想清楚！
Monica: Oh my god!
喔！我的天！
Chandler: I know, I, I should've talked to you first about it.
我知道，我应该先跟你讨论的。
Monica: No, I think that this is what you wanna do, I think it's great!
不，我想如果这是你想要的，我认为这很棒！
Chandler: Thanks!
谢谢！
Phoebe: Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I could've ever imagined.
钱德，你能够在这里是我有过最棒的圣诞礼物了。
Chandler: Ahh...
奥……
Phoebe: Now give me my real gift.
现在给我真正的礼物。
Phoebe: Thank you.
谢谢。
Chandler: Here, pass these there.
这里，分给大家。
Ross: Oh, hey...
喔，嘿……
Ross: "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet."
“一项捐款已经以您的名义 捐赠给纽约市立芭蕾舞团。”
Ross: How did you know?
你怎么会知道我要这个呢？
Rachel: Wha...are you kidding? I can't return this.
什么？你在开玩笑吗？我不能退还这个的。
Chandler: I...thought it was timely we start to thinking about other people. Besides, this gift still says I love you guys.
该是我们关怀别人的时候了。除此之外，这份礼物还包含了 “我爱你们”。
Joey: Mine's is to Lilian Myers.
我的上面写“给莉莉安·迈尔”。
Chandler: I don't have a job!
我可是失业了！
Chandler: Actuary...no. Bookkeeper, um no. Topless dancer?
精算师？不。不簿记员？算了。不露点舞者？
Chandler: Hey, you know what I just realized? You, are the sole wage earner. You are the head of the household. I, don't do anything. I'm a kept man!
嗨，你知道我刚才想通什么吗？你是家里唯一收入来源。你是这个家的户长。我什么都没做，我是被供养的小白脸！
Monica: You are!
你还真是！
Monica: Hey, here's twenty bucks. Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?
嘿，给你20块钱。为什么不出去买件漂亮衣服明天找工作的时候穿？
