Topic（题目）:

Whether our human's activities have exerted a negative effect on the environment

Target text（文章正文）:

In this day and age, there is a hot issue about whether our human's activities have exerted a negative effect on the environment. There is an overwhelming majority of people contends that thanks to the human beings, there have been much more enjoyment on the planet Earth, nevertheless, a tremendous number of individuals argues that our earth has been harmed severely due to our activities, I am one of them.

We live in an age dominated by the advanced machines and everyone is benefited from the development of industry, however, this goodness to us can be a terrible detriment to the environment. There is no denying that the growing number of cars and industrial factories and use of fossil fuels have caused the air pollution as well as the deterioration of the condition of rivers and ocean. The release of greenhouse gases, the acid rain and the desertification push humans to a really dangerous situation.

It is universally acknowledged that there are a numerous number of creatures living in our beautiful planet besides our human races, but our mankind seems to have the most important influence on this planet. Thanks to lots of human activities, there are an increasing number of animals and plants are facing the crisis of extinction. People hunt for the expensive materials such as the ivory and the sharks' wing, just for their short –term enjoyment; they occupy the habitat of many animals in order to meet their needs of land, making countless lives lose their homes. What us humans do truly improve our levels of living, but destruct many other creatures' lives at the same time.

Admittedly, we cannot lose sight of that the development of science and technology has provided us many entertainments, making it more fun and colorful to live in the Earth. However, we should not forget that this Earth is not only belonged to our humans, but also is a lot of other creatures' home, and the fact is that our activities have brought serious damages to their other species lives, and as a result, our daily lives are affected as well.

Taking above mentioned into consideration, the demerits of what human races activities are outweigh its merits. Our nature is a whole, it is the gift to each living thing, so it is necessary for us to take actions that try to make this planet a wonderful place for each life to live in.

TPO小站综合点评及批改意见：

总的来说，这篇作文在结构及论述均还比较好，就是一些小的细节没有处理到位，出现了一些语法错误，注意规避。另外就是有的句子读完之后，感觉意思没有表述完整，注意将内容陈述完整。

预估分数：4

学习建议：

1、尽量多阅读范文，模仿好的文章中作者阐述论证观点的方式。

2、多阅读不同类型话题的文章，积累专业作家针对不同话题的观点内容。

3、可以多引用别人的观点内容。

4、阅读范文过程中，注意作者如何反向论证观点。