Topic（题目）:

Technology designed to make our life simpler actually makes our life more complicated.

Target text（文章正文）:

New technology which survive for human being is designed everyday. The purpose that scientists design it and costumers buy it is to make our life simpler. In most respects, it is the simpler that technology makes our life. Nevertheless, there is also some technology makes our life more complicated.

To each body in the 21th centry, digital production make our life simpler and more interesting. Theses technology designed also wo make our life simpler. For instance, iPad is one of the most important tool for every one who need to play games, finish work and safari the internet without stationary and heavy desktop PCs. The Apple company designed it was to provide persons a machine which can make our life more convenient. Actually, Steven Jobs had achieved his purpose. We can download everything to play games and watch films by it in the subways or flights. Before scientists designed it, if we want to show a photograph to others, we must use mobile hard disks to copy it, then paste it to whose computer. Now days, we can send them it directly by iPad's WIFI. So technology to person makes our life simpler.

Most organizations and governments use new technology to make their job more efficient as well. Thus, technology not only make dividual's life simpler but also helpful to collectives. For example, before Chinese government use the internet to do job, the staffs of the government must write or print the documents to send to their leader or others. It lead to some secrete documents showed to some persons who do not have power to read it. It is too complicated to send to many persons in that the paper documents are easy to loose. Each parts of government can check each thing by the internet soon. And it is also more safe. So technology to groups are useful as well.

In opposite, a little technology is so un-mature that users could not use it fluently, thus there may be some misunderstand between a user and another one. According to the recent survey conducted by China Daily, after polling thousands of young people aged between fourteen to twenty-eight, a significant percentage of respondents claimed that they had misunderstand with their friends in that there is something wrong with the new technology that they used to chat. So technology designed to make our life simpler actually makes our life more complicated sometimes.

In a word, each coin has two sides, so we should pick out the technology which is actually make our life simpler.

Feedback and Review（点评及修改）

优点：

1.主体段落要点的证明方法用得比较丰富，有数据还有例子，值得肯定。

2. 每个主体段落的topic sentence 也归纳得不错。

缺点及改进建议：

1、语法：整篇文章中出现了较多的单复数错误，过去式和现在式会用混，动词和名词的搭配也有问题，写长句子时一定要特别仔细认真，容易出错。

例如：

For instance, iPad is one of the most important tool for every one.

Thus, technology not only make dividual's life simpler.

It lead to some secrete documents showed to some persons who do not have power to read it.

2、内容：disagree or agree 的独立写作，不要正反两方面的观点都说，选择一个立场，然后充分说明你的观点，用上序数词，firstly/to start with, secondly/in the second place等等，开头结果明确表达。