1. Ask them to be honest about why
1. 让父母说出不喜欢他的真实理由
When you find out that your parents hate your boyfriend, your first instinct is, most likely, to get really annoyed, upset, and mad at them. You want to ask how they can possibly say this stuff to you and you might even want to stop talking to them for a few days (or even a few weeks). Even though that's how you really want to act, it's not the best idea right now.
当你发现爸妈不喜欢男朋友的时候,你会本能的感到恼火、难过,非常生气(大多数情况下)。你可能想要问清楚,他们怎么能对你说出这种话,也可能暂时好几天都不想理他们(甚至好几周)。尽管你真的很想这么做,但这并不是最好的办法。
They probably have a good reason for saying this to you. Maybe they think that he reminds them of someone that you used to date and that guy wasn't good for you, so they're worried that a similar situation (and a bad break-up) is going to happen again. Maybe they're not sure that he has a good work ethic or that he's close with his family, and those are values that are really important to them.
既然他们都这样说了,那他们的理由可能也非常充分。也许他们认为,这个男生让他们想起了你以前交往过的对象,而那个对象并不适合你,所以他们担心会重蹈覆辙(分手很难看)。也许他们不了解这个男生是否有良好的职业道德,或者他和家人的关系是否亲密,因为这些对于他们而言十分重要。
The best thing that you can do in this situation is to listen carefully to what your mom and dad have to say. You have to be open to their opinions and not get angry or refuse to hear them. At the very least, they'll be happy that you're willing to talk to them about this and be such a good listener.
如果是这种情况,你最好认真地听他们说说原因。你必须对他们的意见持开放态度,不要一听某些话就生气或不想听。至少,如果你愿意和他们聊聊这件事、愿意认真听他们说清原因,他们会很欣慰的。
2. Think about whether they have any good points
2. 好好想想他们说的话在不在理
Just because your parents say that they hate your boyfriend doesn't mean that they're right about him… and it doesn't mean that they're wrong, either. What if what they say has some merit to it? What if he really doesn't have a great work ethic or he's fighting with his parents over something silly and insignificant that shouldn't really be messing up their relationship?
你的父母说他们不喜欢你的男朋友,这并不是说他们就是对的,但也不意味着他们就是错的。如果他们的理由有道理呢?如果他真的没有职业操守或者他会为一些小事而和父母争吵,以至于他与父母的关系不和呢?
It can be tough to remember, but you can think that a new relationship is super great and all rainbows and butterflies and the people close to you can see the real story of what is actually going on. This is definitely why you wonder why your friends or relatives can't figure out a problem that they're having when it seems so clear to you what decision they should be making.
记住这一点可能很难,但你知道的,刚开始谈恋爱的时候那种感觉真的超级棒,一切都是美好的,但旁观者清啊。就像你有时候会这样想,为什么朋友或亲戚就是找不出问题所在呢,明明你一眼就能看清做什么决定才是合理的啊。
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