评论
打印
You caught them red-handed but they still won't admit it happened - or they don't tell you the whole truth.
当场抓包但他/她却不承认--或者没有告诉你全部的真相。
If you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that your partner has cheated on you but they refuse to admit it, or they downplay the details, this isn't a good sign.
如果你确定另一半已经出轨了，但他/她却拒不承认或者轻描淡写地说了细节，那这并不是一个好兆头。
"Spouses repeatedly tell me that what made them leave the relationship wasn't the affair - it was the drip, drip, drip of the truth that slowly leaked out over a long period of time," Caroline Madden told HuffPost. "They would just get used to the facts that had been revealed, start to adjust and trust again and then boom - more information would surface."
"情侣总是对我说，他们放弃一段感情并不是因为出轨--而是真相随着时间的推移被慢慢揭露，"卡罗琳·曼登对《赫芬顿邮报》说道。"他们不愿意面对被揭露的事实，开始慢慢适应，重新相信他/她--但是，更多的信息将浮出水面。"
The best approach is for your partner to be up-front in the very beginning. If they're willing to lie or withhold information at any point, it's not a good sign for your relationship's longevity.
最好的方法？一开始出事的时候，就让另一半面对这件事。如果他们宁愿撒谎或隐瞒信息，那对于恋情的长久度来说，这并不是一个好迹象。
Your partner refuses to apologize.
另一半拒绝道歉。
A refusal to apologize can be greater issues that need resolving. Dr. Harriet Lerner covers the psychology behind apologies in her book,"Why Won't You Apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts."
拒绝道歉的问题更大，急需解决。Harriet Lerner博士在《你为什么不道歉？治愈背叛和日常伤害》（Why Won't You Apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts）一书中解释了道歉背后的心理学。
"Some people who hurt you will never apologize and the worse the harm, the less likely an apology will ever be forthcoming," Lerner told Forbes. "People who do serious harm stand on a small rickety platform of self-worth. They can't allow themselves to really experience the harm they've done because to do so would flip them into an identity of worthless and shame."
"有些人伤害过你之后，却从不道歉，而且伤害越大，他/她道歉的可能性就越小，"Lerner对《福布斯》杂志说道。"对别人造成严重伤害的人，他们的自我价值摇摆不定。他们不允许自己也历经如此大的伤害，因为这样做毫无价值，且十分丢人。"
A person in this headspace might not be able to do the emotional work necessary to repair a broken relationship.
这样的人不大会做感情工作，努力修复一段破裂感情的可能性不大。
Your partner said sorry once, and thinks that should be enough.
另一半说了对不起，认为这就够了。
It's often traumatizing to find out your partner's cheated. It merits more than one apology. But some cheaters don't see it that way. "I already said I was sorry," your partner might say, "what more do you need?"
发现另一半出轨这一事实通常都会带来毁灭性的打击。你要的不仅仅是道歉。但有些出轨者却不这样想。"我都已经说过对不起了，"你的另一半可能会这样说，"你还想怎样？"
译文属可可原创，仅供学习交流使用，未经许可请勿转载
