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Something I've learned through my divorce journey has been life-changing: Ending your marriage is about a lot more than no longer being married to your spouse. When I realized this, and was able to accept it, that's when I started seeing and learning some pretty amazing truths about myself that enabled me to move on in a healthier way.
离婚教会了我改变一生的东西--结束婚姻不仅仅意味着不再与配偶共同经营一段婚姻，其意义更深更远。意识并能够接受这一点时，我开始看到自己惊人的一面。生活还得继续过，我也越来越健康。
The truth is, when you first decide to go your separate ways and end your marriage, you are very focused on what it will feel like to be without a partner: Will I be lonely? How will it affect my kids? What will our friends think?
事实上，当你第一次下定决心结束婚姻，和另一半分道扬镳时，你就已经在想象没有另一半的生活了：我会孤单吗？会不会给孩子造成影响？我们的朋友会怎么想？
After all the newness wears off and you settle into your new life (and I promise, you will settle, even if it feels like you never will), a lot of stuff continues to come up. You want it to slow down so you can catch your breath, but if you don't deal with the stuff, it will keep showing up.
当新鲜感消磨殆尽，你开始适应新生活（我保证，你肯定会适应的，即使你觉得不会），很多新的问题会相继出现。你想放慢脚步、喘口气，但如果不正面应对，那些糟心事还是会继续出现。
I kept myself busy so I didn't have to listen to the voices in my head trying to tell me to stop and feel and listen. It took me over a year to get that I was only able to truly heal after I sat in the quiet and listened to what my emotions were trying to tell me.
我使自己处于忙碌状态，这样就听不到内心的声音了：它试图让我停下脚步，用心去听、去感受。我花了一年的时间安静地倾听内心的声音，之后才真正治愈。
Getting divorced makes you realize you aren't perfect. It forces you to take a long, hard look at yourself and the part you played in your marriage. I'm not talking about making yourself feel guilty and self-loathing. I'm talking about signs that came up early in your relationship that you didn't notice. Maybe you were an enabler, codependent or married someone you knew wasn't right but you'd hoped they would change. Or maybe you were blindsided by something they did, and you've had to start over and learn how to trust people again. Whatever the reasons, this experience will change you. Let it.
离婚会让你意识到你并不完美。会迫使你长时间思考、客观地审视自己以及自己在婚姻中扮演的角色。当然，我并不想让你感到内疚、自我厌恶。我指的是好好想想这段关系，回想那些一开始你没有注意到的征兆。也许你喜欢教唆他人，与一个你知道不适合自己但却希望他/她会做出改变的人结了婚。或者你被他们的所作所为给蒙骗了，你必须从头开始，学习如何信任他人。无论出于何种原因，这一经历都会让你有所改变。所以，离婚吧！
Getting divorced makes you take a look at your childhood and realize you may have some old childhood wounds that still need healing. It can be a big eye-opener and let you know you still have work to do on yourself.
离婚会让你回顾童年生活。也许你会发现，有些童年时代的创伤还需要愈合。离婚或许会打开你的眼界，让你知道你仍需提升自己。
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