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Dear Coleen
亲爱的科琳
My girlfriend and I have been together for five years and we live with each other. I've had a situation for about six months now where she's become really close to a friend of a friend who we saw occasionally at parties.
我和女朋友在一起5年了，目前住在一起。过去6个月以来，有个问题一直困扰着我：她和一个我们偶然在聚会上遇到的朋友的朋友走的很近。
They exchanged phone numbers because they're both keen runners and started going out training together, which I didn't have a problem with. A couple of my mates warned me that this guy had feelings for my girlfriend, but I didn't take it seriously because I totally trusted her and our relationship was as good as it's ever been.
由于他们都喜欢跑步，所以互相留了电话号码，自此就开始一起训练了（对此我并不反对）。几个好基友警告我，那个男人喜欢上我女朋友了，但我没把它当回事儿。因为我非常信任我的女朋友，我们像往常一样，十分融洽。
Then a couple of weeks ago, she admitted to me that she was falling in love with him, and that it had taken her by surprise. What started out as friendship and running buddies had changed into something else and she couldn't lie to me.
但几周前，她承认自己爱上他了，她自己也很吃惊。一开始他们只是一起跑步的好朋友，但最后却彼此有了感情，她不想骗我。
I went mad and stormed out, and returned the next day when we had a heart to heart. She's now saying she doesn't want to end things with me, but wants to keep seeing this other guy as a friend. Of course, my instinct is to say no. She insists they haven't slept together and I believe her, but I don't know how to handle this situation.
我发疯似的冲了出去，但第二天我又回去了，彼此交了心。她说她不想和我分手，但希望能和那个男人继续做朋友。当然，直觉告诉我不行。但她坚持称他们还没睡过，我信她，但我却不知该如何应对这种情况。
Please help.
请帮帮我。
Coleen says
科琳说
Of course she can't keep seeing this guy if she wants to make it work with you and you are willing to try, too. It's just not an option - at the very least it'll stop the two of you from moving on and rebuilding trust. Or it could lead to the two of them ending up in bed together. A situation like this is like a knife to the heart - admitting that she's in love with someone and cares that much for another person is worse than a one-night stand, in my opinion.
如果她想继续和你在一起，而且你也有这个意愿，那肯定不能让她再和那个男人见面了。这不是选择题--如果他们继续见面，至少你们的感情会受到影响，难以重建信任。或者，他们最终会睡到一起。这种情况可就扎心了--我认为，承认自己爱上某人、非常关心某人比一夜情还要糟糕。
The two of you need to really examine what's going wrong in your relationship for her to be vulnerable to an affair.
你们俩需要好好谈谈，理清楚哪儿出了错，为什么可能出轨。
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