Social media has changed the way we navigate relationships-the one you're in now and those in the past. That's not necessarily a good thing. "Not only do you have the ability to interact with your exes, but you can also look up your partner's ex and find pictures or videos of them when they were dating," says Kevin Gilliland, PsyD, a Dallas-based psychologist and executive director of the counseling service Innovation360.
社交媒体改变了我们谈恋爱的方式--现任和前任。但这并不一定是件好事。"你不仅可以与前任互动，而且还可以查看现任的前任，找到他们以前约会时的照片或视频，"达拉斯的心理学家、Innovation360咨询服务的执行董事凯文·吉利兰心理学博士说道。
Yet there's so much gray area surrounding acceptable online activity. Is reaching out to a past love on email considered emotional cheating? Is replying to a text that they sent crossing the line? What about reading DMs that pop up on your partner's phone when they're not looking-who can resist that?
但关于可接受的在线行为这一方面，存在太多的灰色领域。用电子邮件联系前任是不是精神出轨？回复他们发给你的短信算不算越界？另一半不注意的时候，看他们手机上跳出来的提示信息又属于何种行为--谁能抵挡这种诱惑呢？
"If we asked a dozen couples to define emotional cheating, we'd probably get a dozen different answers," says Gilliland. "Couples have to define the term together, whatever that means to them." That said, there are some social media moves that are definite no-nos thanks to their potential to mess up your current relationship. Below, Gilliland outlines online moves that should be off limits.
"如果请十几对情侣给精神出轨定义，那我们很有可能得到十几个不同的答案，"吉利兰说道。"情侣需要一起定义这个术语，无论这对于他们来说意味着什么。"也就是说，有些社交媒体行为是绝对不能被接受的，因为这些举动可能会搞砸你现在的恋情。吉利兰概括了应该禁止的网络行为，如下：
Regularly checking an ex's profile
不断查看前任的个人资料
It sounds harmless enough; you're just curious about what they're doing these days, right? Don't do it. Visiting an ex's Facebook or Instagram profile on the regular often has bigger implications. "You need to think about the real reason you're still seeking them out," says Gilliland. "It might be sadness or a wondering what if. Either way, reminiscing about past relationships is risky."
这听起来啥事都没有，你只是很好奇他们最近在做些什么，是不？千万别这么做。定期查看前任的脸书或Ins有着更深层次的意义。"你需要想想这样做的真正原因，"吉利兰说道。"可能是因为你仍旧很伤心，也可能是因为你在假设和他/她复合的可能性。无论如何，回忆过去的恋情都是有风险的。"
It's easy to romanticize what you once had if you're facing challenges with your current partner, and by scrolling your ex's social pages, you might forget that every relationship endures normal ups and downs. "Relationships are nonstop problem solving," Gilliland tells Health. "We tend to forget that and idealize other relationships, whether it's our past ones or comparing ourselves to other couples online, and it's one of the worst things we can do."
如果你和现任闹了点别扭，那你很有可能浪漫的回想曾经拥有的一切。然后你就会翻前任的社交媒体主页，也许你会忘记每段恋情都会时好时坏。"谈恋爱就是不间断的解决问题，"吉利兰对《健康》杂志说道。"我们倾向于忘却这一点，幻想其它的恋情，不管是和过去的爱人还是将自己与其他情侣作对比，这是最糟的事情了。"
A better move: Unfriend, unfollow, or block accounts you find yourself wondering about. They might be keeping you from fully committing to your current love.
更好的做法：不要加好友、不要关注、或者屏蔽自己还心有所念的社交媒体账户。它们可能会阻断你全心全意的对现任付出。
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