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You hate the sound of him chewing and are a little bummed he still doesn't know your favorite flower (peonies!), but are those deal breakers or just signs of being with someone for a bajillion years? According to Marina Voron, licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship red flags have less to do with actual behavior and more to do with the feelings and intentions behind them. Here, Voron shares reasons it may be time to cue Adele and call it quits.
你不喜欢他嚼东西时发出的声音、对于他仍然不知道你最喜欢什么花（牡丹）这一点你也有点小失望，但这些究竟是风险点还是只是和某人在一起很多年的迹象呢？持证婚姻与家庭治疗师玛丽娜·沃龙表示，感情中的危险信号与实际行为没什么关系，反而与行为后的感受和意图有很大关系。在此，沃龙分享了一些理由，可能是时候提醒阿黛尔，宣布这段感情的结束了。
1. There is a decline in intimacy.
1. 你们越来越不亲密。
It's normal to be hot and heavy in the beginning - every long-term relationship will have its ups and downs in the bedroom. I'm talking about going three months without s** or consistently facing rejection when you initiate. It could also be a decline in the quality of s**. For example, it feels mechanical, like neither one of you is really present, and not just because you can't stop thinking about a work or personal problem. This is happening every time.
刚开始的时候如胶似漆是很正常的--每一段长期的恋情都会在房事上有起有伏。我说的是你们已经有三个月没有性生活了，或是当你发起攻势却一直被另一半拒绝。也有可能是性生活质量下降了。比如，感觉性是件机械的事情，就好像你们没有一个人真正在场一般，而这并不只是因为你必须思考工作或个人的问题。每一次那个时都在发生这样的事情。
2. Your relationship is lacking fun.
2. 你们的感情缺少乐趣。
The healthiest relationships are brimming with positivity and lightheartedness. After all, playfulness helps you to de-stress, connect, and turn to each other in times of need. You should be able to turn off the world and just enjoy yourself when you're together. If you start to feel anxious or stressed when you're with your partner, you might be treading into problem territory.
最健康的恋情充满着正能量和轻松感。毕竟，乐趣能够帮你们减压、让你们心有灵犀、能在需要的时候帮助对方。当你们在一起时，你们应该能够不与外界联系，享受二人世界。如果当你和另一半在一起时，你感到焦虑或压力，那你们可能已经出了问题。
3. Your S.O. becomes disrespectful.
3. 你的另一半变得不尊重人了。
When you start being spiteful, critical, or belittling of one another, it's no bueno. Contempt is the no. 1 predictor of relationship combustion, Voron says, and it's something that couples may not notice if it happens gradually over time. Look for mean-spirited sarcasm - that's a huge red flag.
当你们开始对彼此刻毒、说三道四或是互相看不起时，这可不是什么好事。轻蔑是恋情慢慢被耗尽的头号预报器，沃龙说道，而且如果这种态度是随着时间的推移慢慢发生的话，情侣可能都会注意不到。注意刻薄的讽刺--这可是巨大的危险信号。
4. You or your partner pays more attention to your phone than to each other.
4. 你或你的另一半对手机的注意力比对彼此的还多。
You'd be amazed by the number of couples who sit across from Voron in therapy and get right on their phones, she says. When you're together, be together. If your partner is always on the phone, that's a sign of rejection, and it can hurt.
沃龙在治疗过程中碰到的夫妻会坐在他的对面并立即掏出他们手机，数量之多会让你惊讶，她说道。当你们在一起时，就好好在一起，如果你的另一半总是玩手机，那这就是拒绝你的迹象，真的很伤人。
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