5.They are genetically programmed to cheat
5.天生自带出轨基因
When some people cheat their excuse might be that they could simply not help themselves. While most of us would write off that excuse as not worth the paper it was written on it seems that there might be some truth in it after all.
一些人出轨了之后，他们会说，他们就是没办法。可能大多数人都会觉得这种说辞瞎到压根没必要写出来，但最近的科学研究表明这话说不定还有几分可信。
Recent research has identified that a receptor gene for vasopressin which is a chemical released through sex could indicate whether or not a man is likely to cheat at some point in his life. Nicknamed the 'cheater gene' it appears that men with a long version of the vasopressin gene are likely to be faithful to their partners and families. Men with a shorter version of the gene are far more likely to cheat. Most people will have heard of the chemical Oxytocin. This is the 'feel good' chemical that causes us to feel content. It is released by our bodies when we feel pleasurable touch. It appears that some people have a lower than average number of oxytocin receptors in their body and are, therefore, less able to enjoy the strong bonds of trust, love and affection that are common in long term relationships. It is not just vasopressin and oxytocin. Research related to the role of the DRD4 dopamine receptor gene in ADHD has shown that those who have a mutation to that particular gene may be more at risk for both ADHD and cheating. Of course not everyone with ADHD will be a cheater but it appears that it may be a risk factor that would lead someone to be tempted to cheat on their spouse. All people have the DRD4 gene – it is related to a person's propensity to gamble or take risks (sexual or otherwise). A long DRD4 gene can lead to a 50% increase in the likelihood that someone will cheat. Of course at the start of the relationship you could get your partner to undergo expensive genetic tests on their DRD4, Vasopressin and Oxytocin genes but there is a simpler way to check – if their parents or grandparents were cheaters then they may have inherited the desire to roam!
加压素--一种通过性行为得到释放的荷尔蒙--科学家们最近发现了其受体基因，这种基因可以确定一个人是否会出轨。科学家们戏称其为'出轨基因'，一个人的这种基因如果长得较长，那他更有可能对伴侣与家庭保持忠诚，但反之则出轨机率会更大。大多数人都听说过催产素，它是一种让人'感觉愉快'的荷尔蒙。当人们喜欢来自别人的碰触时，身体就会释放这种元素。但有些人催产素感官基因的个数比正常人要少，因此，他们就无法像他人一样享受信任与爱情带来的亲密感，而这种亲密感是长期关系中所必需的。除了加压素跟催产素，还有注意力缺陷多动障碍--俗称小儿多动症--中的多巴胺。研究表明带有这种基因变异体的人会比他人更有可能罹患小儿多动症，也更有可能出轨。当然不是每个得了小儿多动症的人都会出轨，但他更像一个潜在的危险因素，患者可能受他人诱惑出轨。所有人都有多巴胺--这种基因存在在人们的天性里，诱惑着我们去冒险（性或其他）。当然在刚开始一段关系时，你可以你让你的伴侣进行贵死人的基因测试，检查一下他们体内以上三种基因，但也有更简单的方法--如果他们的父母或祖父母曾经有出轨史，他们就可能继承到了这种基因！
4.They feel emasculated in their marriage
4.在婚姻中感觉伤了自尊
When the film Sliding Doors was the surprise hit of 1998 we were all revolted by the behavior of the reprehensible Gerry who let his long term girlfriend work herself to the bone to support him in his research for a novel whilst all the time carrying on with an old flame. Societal expectations tell us that men should be the breadwinners and therefore should be earning more than the women in their life. This is at odds with equal opportunity legislation in many countries and the plain truth is that some women earn more than the man they are in a relationship with and this will only increase as time goes on. At the present time American women earn more than their partners in 4 out of 10 households. Instead of feeling pleased that their partner is successful and supporting her in her career these men let her do all the hard work and use the time she is out of the house to get their sexual fix elsewhere.
1998年，电影《双面情人》出人意料地大获好评，其中女主人公男友杰瑞在剧中的所作所为简直令人发指，作为一个所谓的小说家，杰瑞让女友海伦每日辛苦上班以支持他写作，但自己却与前女友旧情不断。一直以来，社会期望男人应该是赚钱养家的主力，所以男人应该比女友/老婆赚得多。但这种期望其实是跟许多国家性别公平的法律法规背道而驰，而且现实生活中，就是有一些女性比他们的另一半赚得多，随着时间流逝，这种差距只会变得更大，而不会缩小。如今在美国，10个家庭里有4个是妻子比他们的丈夫赚得更多。而这些丈夫呢，他们不仅不为了妻子的事业成功感到高兴并全力支持她们，反而把生活重担都推给妻子，并利用她们不在家的时间在其他女人那里寻求性安慰。
These sexual activities can help the man feel that he is in control, that he is a proper man and not emasculated by his wife or partner. While women who earn less are only 5% more likely to cheat on their spouses a dependent man is more than 15% more likely to cheat on his hard working wife. Of course their very insecurities are likely, if discovered, to cost them the wife and their support system.
这种性安慰帮助这些男人重建自信，他们会感到他们是个真正的男人，并没有被妻子比下去。研究表明，赚得比伴侣更少的女性会比其他女性出轨的机率高5%，但同样情况下，男性却要多出15%。当然，这种经济带来的不安全感导致的出轨行为，一旦被发现，则会让他们付出更高的代价，妻子、票子统统离他而去。
3.They like to flash the cash
3.愿意去炫耀金钱
Sadly it is not just men who earn less money than their wives or partners (and men are sadly more likely to cheat than women) but men and women who earn a lot more than their partners are also likely to enjoy a bit on the side. This is because the imbalance of earnings means that they are far more likely to have control of the family accounts and be able to hide the trail of breadcrumbs that identify their extra-curricular activities. Their employment may also give them the chance to engage in their little hobby (see below).
不幸的是，不仅仅是比伴侣赚得钱少的男人（而且男性就是比女性更容易出轨），钱赚得比另一半多得多的男男女女也会容易出轨。这是因为收入的不平衡意味着这些人更有可能控制家庭收支，也更有可能把暴露他们行踪的花销隐藏起来。而且职业本身也可能提供了他们出轨的机会（看下面那个理由）。
It seems that some people just can't win – if they earn too much their partner is going to have an excuse to cheat on them whereas if they earn too little they are vulnerable as well. The truth is probably that the cheater falls into one of the other categories set out in this article but that their relative wealth gives them the chance to indulge in affairs and get the very best fling that money can buy. It is not just wealth that is a risk factor for cheating – powerful people are also at risk for being an unfaithful partner. It seems that a sense of power encourages people to flirt with those that they find attractive and for that flirting to be returned (power is sexy after all, otherwise how would all those ancient, ugly politicians get people to sleep with them). Add to this that powerful people are more likely to be surrounded by people who want to make them feel good, who downplay the vices and talk up the virtues (sycophants in other words) to remain part of the 'club'. This creates an environment in which cheating is not only possible and probable but also implicitly condoned and seen as nothing very much out of the ordinary.
这么看来，有些人就是不可能赢--如果他们赚的太多了，他们的伴侣有借口出轨，反之亦然。事实是，那些有钱人因为我们提到的其他原因出轨，而他们的财富为他们的不忠提供了温床，钱恰恰花在了最值得的地方。不仅仅钱是出轨的潜在因素--有权人也同样危险。权威感会鼓励人们与潜在对象大胆调情，而一旦这种调情得到回应，人们就有可能出轨（毕竟权力即性感，否则古代的那些丑八怪政治家如何睡了一个又一个）。不仅如此，有点权力的人周围都是马屁精，吹捧逢迎，无所不及，好关键时刻沾沾光。这就给那些人营造了一种氛围，出轨不仅是可能可行的，而且压根没什么大不了，更不必为此有罪恶感。
2.They have the opportunity to cheat
2.有机会出轨
Studies have shown that people are typically morally corrupt. Because society has morals and puts a premium on people holding to those morals the majority of us will do just enough to be seen to comply. That is – we all want people to think that we are good, decent members of society but will, in reality, get away with as much moral turpitude as we possibly can.
研究表明，人们都是典型性道德腐败。因为社会树立了道德准则，并高度赞扬遵守这一准则的人们，所以我们中的大多数都会做一些必要的事情，让社会看到我们也是如此。也就是说--我们都希望别人觉得我们是好人，但事实上，一有机会就尽情堕落。
The result of this hypocrisy is that while we will be faithful to our partners when it is easy many people will, when faced with the opportunity to cheat will do so. This does not mean that people will necessarily engage in emotional affairs or long term sexual affairs. A survey on the science of one night stands showed that the overwhelming majority of men would go home with a woman who offered them no strings attached sex even if they were unattractive. Women were also willing to cheat and engage in a one night stand but only if the man in question was deemed very attractive. People who go away for business, those who find themselves away from home or in the company of single friends on a regular basis are going to have opportunities to cheat – some of those people will take up those opportunities without a second thought.
这种伪善的结果就是，当忠贞毫不费力的时候，我们就会对另一半保持忠诚，但一有机会出轨，我们也不会犹豫。当然，这并不意味着出轨的人一定会投入感情，或维持长期的性关系。一项关于一夜情的科学研究表明，绝大多数男性会跟一位陌生女性回家，如果她表示事后绝不纠缠，即使他们不觉得她有任何吸引力。女性也同样对出轨跃跃欲试，想要尝尝一夜情的滋味，但前提是对象得十分有魅力。经常需要出差的人们，尤其是时不时就去离家很远的地方，或是经常与单身狗们一起玩耍的人，就有机会出轨--一些人碰到这样的机会甚至会毫不犹豫地答应前往。
1.他们是渣男渣女
A cheater, when discovered, will always come up with some excuse. It may be that they are a sex addict, that they are genetically predisposed to be unfaithful or that a stunningly attractive individual made them an offer that they just could not turn down. The truth is that an addict can always be honest about their addiction and get treatment for it, we are not a slave to our genetics and no one is so attractive that they warrant destroying a marriage over. People who give into temptation may have a boat load of excuses but the truth is that there is really only one reason why people cheat and that is because they are low life scum.
出轨的人一旦被发现，总会试图找借口。他们可能会说他们性成瘾，或者他们自带出轨基因，或者出轨对象实在太有吸引力，他们根本无法拒绝。但事实是，性瘾者应该对自己的病症坦白并得到治疗，我们也不是基因的奴隶，而有魅力的男男女女更不是生来就为了插足婚姻的。最终出轨的人可能有一船子借口但事实就是，出轨的原因只有一个，那就是他们都是渣男渣女。
Of course some people find that their partner's sex drive does not meet their needs – the solution is to talk about it together, only a low life would allow a spouse to think that there was nothing wrong. The same solution exists when a couple find themselves in an unhappy relationship. Rather than burying their heads in the sand (or in another person) a couple would be better off talking about why they are unhappy and whether or not that unhappiness can be remedied. Of course if the answer is that the unhappiness cannot be remedied then perhaps the couple should divorce but only a low life would cheat rather than talk! Even those who cheat by way of revenge are not immune from this characterization. Just because one person breaks a promise does not mean that the other party to that promise has the right to derogate from it. If you are cheated on the best revenge is to get out of the relationship and live your life happily and well.In this day and age, when marriage is no longer seen as a societal pre-requisite to social standing and moral status it seems strange that people should still cheat. Women who find themselves pregnant no longer need to marry a man they do not love to save face and men who have a 'little accident' may have to support that accident for the rest of their lives but are not required to be shackled to the mother. If people enter a marriage that turns out to be unsuccessful divorce is both easy to get and no longer comes with a hefty dose of social stigma to season it. One would think, therefore, that marriage would be something that people take seriously and cherish. The opposite appears to be the case. In any single year of a relationship there is only a 6% chance that one of the couple will cheat but, over the course of a long term relationship this percentage compounds up as high as 1 in 4. There are even dating websites dedicated to making it easy for those in a committed relationship to find someone with whom to have an affair. This article has covered the main reasons why people might cheat. If you are worried that you, or your partner are at risk of cheating best thing you can do is to maintain the affection and intimacy in your relationship. Talk to each other, hold hands, kiss, express affection even when it does not (and will not) lead to sex, cherish each other and value honesty in your relationship above everything else.
当然，一些人发现两人的性需求无法协调一致时--解决问题的办法是交流讨论，只有渣男/渣女会让对方觉得一切都很好。同样，当一对夫妇发现他们的婚姻不快乐时，他们也应该采取同样的方法。把头埋在沙子里（或另一个人身上）并不能让情况得到改善，夫妻们应该积极交流--为什么不快乐，是否可以进行修补。当然，如果这种不快乐没有办法解决，那也许应该离婚，而不是出轨！甚至那些因报复而出轨的人也不能幸免于渣男/渣女的范畴。只是因为另一方打破了承诺，不代表被出轨的一方就有权利违背破坏承诺。如果你被出轨了，那最好的报复就是赶快分手，并好好过生活。如今的社会，婚姻不再是社会地位与道德状况的条件之一，人们却依旧出轨，这似乎并不合理。发现自己意外怀孕的女性不再需要嫁给自己不爱的男人来挽回声誉，而发生了“小意外”的男性可能需要终生提供经济支持，但他也不必一辈子就跟孩子的母亲拴在一起。如果人们结了婚之后发现婚姻失败，离婚也很容易，更不会像以前一样成为人生污点。因此，你有可能认为，如今，婚姻应该是人们重视并珍惜的东西。但情况恰恰相反。就单独一年来看，只有6%的机率一对夫妻中的任何一方会出轨，但从长期关系的角度，这种机率就会大幅上升，4对夫妻中就有1对会出轨。现在甚至有一些约会网站致力于帮助结了婚的人出轨。这篇文章讨论了为什么人们出轨的主要原因。如果你担心你，或者你的伴侣有可能出轨，最好的解决办法就是努力维系那种爱与亲密感。与对方交流，牵手，亲吻，表达爱意，即使这种表达并不（也不会）导致性行为，珍惜彼此，还有就是，诚实是关系中最重要的品质。
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