In Chinese culture how common is it to regularly say "I love you"?
中国文化里面,人们通常多久说一次“我爱你”?
I can't remember a single time that my parents explicitly told me "I love you." However, I can clearly remember the day I talked to my dad about King Lear.I told him about how sorry I felt for Lear because he was betrayed by his daughters Goneril and Regan. Lear, knowing that he was getting old, decided to split his kingdom among his 3 girls. He proclaimed that he would give the greatest share to the one who loved him most.
我不记得我父母有哪一次很明确地跟我说过:“我爱你”了。但是,我很清楚的记得我跟我爸谈《李尔王》的那一天。我告诉他,我为李尔的女儿贡纳莉和里根的背叛感到多么抱歉。李尔王知道自己老了,于是决定把他的王国分给他的三个女儿。他宣布,他会把最大的那份给那个最爱他的人。
So, Goneril and Regan proceed to deceive their father with lavish expressions of love. Meanwhile the third daughter, Cordelia, refuses to participate in such false displays. She loves her father too much, and she doesn't want to degrade herself to the level of her sisters. Instead, she says (in an aside): Then, poor Cordelia! And yet not so; since, I am sure, my love's more richer than my tongue.
因此,贡纳莉和里根开始用夸张的词藻来欺骗自己的父亲。同时第三个女儿考狄利娅拒绝加入这种虚假的表现中去。她太爱她的父亲了,她不想贬低自己至姐妹的那个水平。相反地,她说(旁自语):“那么,考狄利娅,你只好自安于贫穷了!可是我并不贫穷,因为我深信我的爱心比我的口才更富有。”(莎士比亚《李尔王》,朱生豪译)
Lear is deeply offended and, in a cruel twist of irony, disinherits the only child who truly loved him. Sadly, he later gets kicked out of his own kingdom by the two daughters who claimed to adore him more than anything in the world.
李尔很生气,残酷地扭曲了她的话,并且剥夺了唯一真正爱自己的女儿的继承权。不幸的是,他不久后被他那两个曾经宣称崇拜自己超过世界上任何事物的女儿逐出了自己的王国。
My father's response to my retelling of the story was approximately the following:That's why you don't need to say "I love you." Just saying "I love you"doesn't necessarily mean your love is real. But if you really love someone, you'll show it with your actions.
我父亲听完我故事的复述之后,回答大致如下:那就是为什么我们不需要说“我爱你”。只会说“我爱你”的话并不意味着你的爱就是真实的。但是如果你真的爱某个人的话,你会用你的行动来证明的。
So although I never heard the words "I love you" from my parents, I always felt loved because they told me in ways that speak much louder than words. I think many other Chinese feel the same way.
所以即使我从来没有从我父母那里听到过“我爱你”的话,我也总能感觉得到我是被爱的,因为他们用比言语更加响亮的方式告诉我了。我觉得很多其他中国人也会有同样的感觉。