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和妹子约会时,给你的十大建议(3)

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3.Religious Preferences

3.宗教信仰
In addition to her upbringing and background, you also should find out if she has any religious preferences and if so, what those preferences are. Like money, religion can undermine your romance before it even begins. Couples who fail to see eye-to-eye on religion could be headed for disaster if they cannot work out these differences before getting married or building a permanent commitment to each other. Like asking for her age, you may be uncomfortable asking about her religious ideals. Even so, you could be saving yourself future troubles by getting this information sooner rather than later.
除了个人经历和家庭教育方式,你还应该看看她是否有任何宗教信仰,若有的话是哪种宗教。和钱一样,宗教能在这段浪漫刚开始时就毁掉它。如果情侣们不能在宗教问题上达成一致,不能在结婚或是做出终生承诺前处理这些差异,他们的关系将走向灾难。和询问她的年龄一样,你可能在问她的宗教理想时也不太自然。虽然如此,这也可能比你以后才了解更能避免许多未来的麻烦。

宗教信仰

Many couples fail to appreciate how religion can impact their relationship until it comes time to plan a wedding, raise children, or plan out other important details. Once they find out that they have different ideals, it can be a major battle to compromise, particularly if you both have deep beliefs that you are unwilling to relinquish.

许多情侣都没有重视宗教信仰对他们的关系的影响,直到他们要筹备婚礼、养育孩子或是策划其他重大细节时才意识到这一点。一旦他们发现双方有不同的想法,就会有一场“看谁先妥协”的大战,尤其是两人都坚定自己绝不放弃的时候。
Even if you were not brought up in a particular faith or in a religious family, you should always find out if the girl you want to ask out has a religious affiliation and how devoted she is to it. It is important that this part of her be something to which you can conform yourself to or at least accommodate for your own peace of mind.
即使你不是在有着特定信仰或是宗教家庭中长大的人,你也应该注意你要约会的女孩有无宗教信仰并且信仰有多深。她在这一部分的想法能与你相符或至少能让你内心平静是很重要的。

2.Health

2.健康

健康

Many people who have serious health challenges look perfectly well and display few outward symptoms. In reality, however, they could be gravely ill and need constant medical attention. Some of the silent conditions whose symptoms may not be obvious at first glance include anemia, hepatitis, chronic lung disease, diabetes, and even heart problems. When you want to ask out a girl that you like, you may do well to find out if she has any health challenges that could call for you to act promptly. Being ready to take care of her in case of an emergency requires that you know these details before you begin dating.

很多有健康隐患的人看起来非常健康,症状并不外显。然而,实际上他们可能重病在身并且需要长时间医疗看护。一些病症很不明显,其症状很难一眼辨识,例如贫血,肝炎,慢性肺病,糖尿病甚至心脏病。当想约一位你心仪的女孩外出时,你需要做足功课,了解她是否有健康问题需要你能随时做应急处理。在你们开始约会之前,为了以防万一,你要了解她的病症情况并且随时做好照顾她的准备。
These conditions and others like them also will have a significant role in your future relationship with her if you both become serious about each other. You will be called upon to learn how to monitor her appearance for signs of illness and act quickly to help her if she becomes ill. If this is something you can handle, you can ask her out and face the likelihood that you will at some point deal with her health issue. If you cannot, it would be best that you avoid asking her out entirely.
如果你们正式确立关系了,以上列举的及其他类似的病症对你们以后的相处来说都非常重要。你需要了解如何从她的面色看出发病征兆,一旦判断发病,能够快速应对。如果你能处理上述情形,那么你可以约她出去,也可以处理日后当她身体出现状况时要照顾她的情况。如果你难胜此任,那么干脆不要约她了。
This information also comes into play if you want to have children some day. If she has a hereditary illness that could be passed onto your children, you at least will be prepared to seek out genetic counseling or other medical advice if your relationship progresses to that point. Health challenges at any age can determine the outcome of your dating chances with the girl you like. You can prepare now by finding out what, if any, conditions she may be dealing with right now.
如果你日后想要孩子,这些信息也能派上用场。如果她的病具有遗传性,可能传给你们的孩子,那么在你们的关系走到这一步时,你至少应该做些遗传或者医疗咨询寻求帮助。无论在任何年龄,健康问题都会影响你和心仪女孩的约会。你可以从现在开始,了解她的健康状况。

1.Children

1.孩子

孩子

Couples should share the same mindset when it comes to having children. Many people begin relationships and reach the point of wanting to get married, only to find out that one party abhors the idea of becoming a parent. Even if at first it seems like you both are just living in the moment and seeing where fate takes you, you should investigate how open she is to being a mother at some point in the future. You can decide whether or not to ask her out based on her answer and how well her answer matches your own intentions.

对于生小孩与否,夫妻需要想法一致。很多人谈恋爱以后,甚至到了结婚的时候才发现另一半根本不想要小孩。就算一开始你们只活在当下,不考虑以后,你也需要弄清楚她将来对“母亲”这个角色是否接受。你可以根据她的回答以及你们的契合程度决定是否要约她出去。
It is also important to remember that few people change their minds about this important topic. If you want to have kids, but she does not, you should not continue to date her with the belief that she will be more receptive to kids in the future. This hope more than likely will lead to your being heartbroken. Rather than set yourself up for disappointment, you should find out this important detail and avoid asking her out if she says she does not want children.
切记:生育观念很重要,一旦形成,很少人会改观。如果你想要孩子而她只想过二人世界,你抱着她未来会改观的想法和她继续交往也是徒劳。怀抱着此种愿景,未来你只会更加心碎。与其等待着失望,倒不如一开始就弄清楚她的想法,如若与你背道而驰,还是不要约她出去了。
Similarly, if you do not want kids, but she does, you should avoid stringing her along in the relationship. After you find out that she wants kids, you should tell her your side of the argument and politely decline asking her out if she cannot abide by your mindset. You both may be disappointed, but you also save yourself more intense grief later after your hopes for parenthood are dashed. You also spare any kids you might have from being raised by one parent who in reality would have preferred to remain childless for the rest of his or her life.
同样的,如果她想要孩子而你不想,你也不能为了和她交往而有所欺瞒。在你发现你们想法不一致时,你应该告诉她你的观点,如果她无法认同,你应该打消约她出去的念头。也许你们都会很失落,但是这比日后承受做父母的梦破碎时的痛苦要好的多。同时,你也挽救了一个孩子,如果他的父亲或母亲并不想生他,他的成长会很痛苦。
A myriad of information can determine how well you and the girl you like can build a relationship with each other. Before you ask her out, you must determine these details. The answers to these questions can impact you legally, financially, and emotionally. You can spare yourself a future of turmoil or alternatively look forward to a life of happiness by having these facts on hand before you ask out the girl in which you are interested.
种种你要了解的信息可以决定你和心仪女孩能否建立关系。在你约她出去之前,你必须作出决定。对以上问题的回答可以法律角度,经济角度,情感角度影响你。可以让自己避免未来陷入麻烦,又或者可以做好准备,确认好她的想法,约她出去,开始幸福的生活。

审校:小飞侠 编辑:Freya然 校对:丸子

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