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One of the hallmarks of introversion is an ability to happily spend copious time alone. But have you ever had that run away with you?
内向的特点之一就是拥有幸福的独处能力。但是这是否让你背道而驰呢？
I live on almost three acres in a quiet part of town. I work at home. I’m married, but my husband’s business requires a lot of interaction all day, and so by evening, he’s ready for some homebody action (or, more accurately, inaction). I have a couple of close friends nearby, but many have moved away over the past decade, and making new friends is difficult as I get older. At this point, most of my friends live in my computer. An online social life is great, but it’s no substitute for face to face.
我住的地方约三英亩，是镇里一个安静的地方。我在家工作。我已经结婚了，但是我丈夫的工作需要天天应酬，所以到了晚上，他就变成了一个宅男（或者更确切的说是不活动）。我家周围本来有一群好朋友，但在过去的十年间有好多都已经搬走了，随着年龄的增长，结交新的朋友对我来说越来越难了。此刻，我的大部分朋友就只用电脑联系了。线上的社交生活很棒，但是不能替代面对面的交流。
It’s easy for me to get isolated.
对我来说很容易变得孤单。
Isolation can creep up on you. You’re doing fine, you’re doing fine, you’re doing fine, enjoying your solitude, getting stuff done, perhaps even preening a little over your self sufficiency. And then one day, you blink a few times, look around, and realize that the world outside has drifted very far away.
孤单慢慢将你包围。你做的很好，你做的很好，你做的很好，享受你的独处，在你自我满足的时候甚至有点洋洋得意。然后某一天，你眨了眨眼睛，看看周围，发现外面的世界已经离你很远。
Well, that is to say, the world has stayed where it is but you’ve drifted so far into your own head that it’s like looking out through the wrong end of the telescope.
当然，也就是说，世界依旧如此，而你沉浸在自己的世界中太久了。像是用望远镜的另一头看待这个世界。
Helloooooooooo…..Is anyone out there?
喂......有人在吗？
Even if you have a job that requires interaction during the day, if every evening and weekend is spent alone, you can miss out on the kind of soulful connection that keeps us emotionally healthy.
即使你的工作白天需要社交，如果每天晚上和周末你都独自度过，你会错过让我们保持情感健康的心灵交流。
The potential problem for us solitary types is that solitude begets solitude begets solitude begets isolation. Solitude becomes inertia.
对于我们孤独的人来说潜在的问题就是独处会招致更多的孤独。孤独成为惯性。
You make no plans and eventually fall out of mind for people. Your social circle rolls on without you. You’re out of touch with what’s happening around town; all too often I hear about fun events the day after they happen. You fall into default mode: Sweat pants and staying home.
你没有计划，最终会失去与人交际的能力。你的社交圈没有你。你与镇周围所发生的失去了联系。有很多时候，镇里发生的有趣事儿我都是事后才听到的。你陷入到预设模式中：穿着运动长裤宅在家里。
And the more isolated you become, the weirder you get. Conversation feels awkward. Getting together with people takes a level of commitment you can’t seem to muster. You intend to call friends but put it off and put it off and put it off. It’s so much easier to hang out with them on Facebook. You promise yourself you will do something fun today, but then find a million little things to do until another day has slipped by and you haven’t done anything more ambitious than go to the supermarket. You might start feeling depressed.
你越是与世隔绝，你就越奇怪。交谈会感到尴尬。与朋友在一起时，你不会想要付出承诺。给朋友打电话时，你往往一拖再拖。在脸书网上交流会容易一些。你承诺今天会做一些有趣的事，但发现有无数小事要去做，等到第二天都过去了，你除了逛超市再没有干比这更有雄心的事。你开始感到沮丧。
Friends, no matter how proudly introverted you are, isolation isn’t good for you. Solitude is great, until it’s not.
朋友，不管你对于内向有多骄傲，孤独对你毫无益处。独处很棒，直到它变坏的时候。
The only cure for isolation is discipline. The discipline to make yourself pick up the phone and call someone you like. Sometimes that means moving out of your comfort zone, connecting with someone who is still just a potential friend. (See First Leave the House: Strategies for Making New Friends.) You need discipline to plan an outing and follow through. You need discipline to say “yes” to the next invitation you receive, even if it’s not the greatest thing you can imagine doing. The point isn’t that you have to do something wonderful. The point is that you have to do something. Anything, as long as it involves other people. Preferably people with whom you can converse.
解决孤独的唯一方法就是训练。训练你拿起电话然后打给你喜欢的人。有时候这意味着走出你的舒适区，与潜在的朋友联系。（看《第一步离开屋子：结交新朋友的策略》）你需要训练去做一个远足计划然后实施它。你需要练习在收到下一个邀请函的时候说是。即使这不是你能想象到的最棒的事。关键不是要你做什么精彩的事，而是要你做一些事情。任何事，只要涉及其他人。最好是可以与之交谈的人。
I’ve been pushing myself in that way recently and it is having the desired effect. My husband noticed how much cheerier and more relaxed I was a couple of weeks ago, after an evening of wine and conversation (and wine) with a friend. Even spending some time on the telephone with faraway friends has been helpful. And when I see an event listing that interests me, I buy tickets or put it on my calendar right away rather than waiting for who-knows-what, until it's too late.
最近我一直在强迫自己这样做，并且达到了预期效果。数周前，我的丈夫发现我在一个晚上和朋友聊天喝酒的时候更加愉悦，更加放松。即使给远方的朋友打个电话也是有帮助的。当我看到列出的清单上有使我感兴趣的项目时，我就立马买票或是记在我的日历上，而不是干等着，那就太晚了。
The only cure for isolation is reengaging with the world. Force yourself out and about, make yourself interact, rejoin your community. Do it because it’s good for you.
治疗孤独的唯一方法就是与世界重修旧好。强迫自己出去，让自己与他人沟通，再次融入你的社团。行动起来，因为这对你有益。
And then, when you’re on the verge of exploding head, return to your nice quiet room and enjoy the solitude again.
其次，当你头痛欲裂的时候，回到你安静的房间然后再次享受独处。
