可可电台，每期节目一话题，让英语磨练耳朵的同时学到更多有益的小知识，丰富知识的同时受益于生活。

别毒害自己的爱情

The relationship never seems to get better.

你们的关系好像没有升温过

No matter what enablers do, problems continue to crop up and reoccur in their relationships.

不管双方怎么做，问题还是层出不穷，屡屡发生。

That’s usually because the other spouse is putting in little to no effort of their own, Deverich said.

问题的症结在于双方都没有为对方有任何的改变。

“The privileged partner is allowing the enabler to absorb the difficulties in the relationship,”she said.“No amount of accommodating, soothing or solving can change anything if your partner is not changing.”

得宠的一方总是让对方处理难题。如果你的伴侣不愿意做出牺牲，那么你再多的谅解、抚慰和自我解决都无济于事。

`Remember: You can’t do it all. To make inroads in changing this pattern, Deverich said to give your partner an opportunity to fix problems as they come.

记住，你不能包办一切。要解决这个问题的方法就是，等下次有问题的时候要给你的伴侣机会来解决。Deverich如是说。

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