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The Laws of Work
工作法则
After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
涨工资以后，到月底你兜里剩下的钱会比以前还少。
Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
不要让自己成为不可或缺的人。因为如果那样的话，你就不会得到提升了。
Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
每天早上一上班就去拍马屁，包你一整天过得顺顺当当。
If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it.
如果一开始不能成功，再试一次，然后就放弃，没必要一直为此犯傻。
If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
如果不能在第一天把工作做好，就每晚加班吧。
It doesn't matter what you do; it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do.
你做什么并不重要，重要的是你说你做过什么以及要做什么。
The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
你忍的越多就会有更多要忍的。
There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
老板下班要搭你的车回家时，要保证你的车厢地板上有啤酒罐滚动。
When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
老板们在谈到提高生产效率时，总是不包括他们自己的。
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
当你表情肃穆而且手里拿着写字夹板的时候，你就可以去想去的任何地方。
Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.
帮你的老板躲开他的老板的监督。
Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."
所有东西都可以归入“杂项”类。
Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a dinner hour.
会议的结束时间和鸡尾酒会的开始时间都是不能延迟的。
To err is human; to forgive is not our policy.
犯错人皆难免，宽恕不是我们的政策。
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.
每个人都能做一定量的工作，只要这工作不是他/她该做的那份。
Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
没有错误的重要信件在邮寄过程中会产生错误。
If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
如果你的表现够好，所有的工作都会指派给你；如果你够精明，你就能逃避掉。
People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
去参加会议的人往往都是不该去的人。
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
不到最后一分钟，什么事也做不好。
At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
在工作中，一个人的权威性是和他拿的笔的数量成反比的。
When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
你不知道该做什么时，就加快步伐并做出忧心忡忡的样子好了。
Following the rules will not get the job done.
遵守规则并不能把工作做好。
Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
把工作做好不能成为不遵守规则的借口。
No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
不管做了多少，你做的总是不够的。
The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.
最后一个辞职或被解雇的人要为所有的错误负责。
The first 90% of a project takes 10% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.
一项工作的前90%用掉10%的工时，做后10%的工作则要花去剩下的90%的工时。
