Language Points

"My mother wasn't the best person in the world. She was hooked on her*in for most of my life. She sold our childhood home for drug money. She left me alone to raise my brother and disabled nephew. I used to wake up every night to feed him and change his diapers. I supported us all on the $5.15 an hour that I earned from the grocery store. My mother passed away a few months ago, and I think I'm just now coming to terms with how awful she made my life. This is the most stable I've ever been. I have a permanent address. I have someone who legitimately loves me. But my anxiety has never been worse. I've been having panic attacks recently. I think I've never had to deal with the trauma because things were always coming at me. And now I'm not sure how to handle the quiet."
我的妈妈并不是这个世界上最好的人。她一直沉迷于海*因；她曾经卖掉了我童年时的家去买毒品；她常常不管我去照顾我的弟弟和残疾的侄子。我那时每晚都要在半夜起来喂我的侄子，给他换尿布。我需要靠着我在杂货店打工每小时挣5.15美金的工资来养活一家人。我妈妈在几个月前去世了，我想我现在慢慢向现实妥协，她的确把我的生活弄得一团糟。我的生活从未如此稳定，我终于有了一个永久的地址；一个爱我的人。但我的焦虑却从未如此严重，我最近常常突然觉得恐慌。我之前一直忙于解决那些烂摊子以至于没有时间去处理这段创伤，但现在日子渐渐平静起来后，我反而不知所措。