评论
打印
Have you ever felt uneasy at a funeral because you weren't sure what to say to the grieving family?
你是否在参加葬礼时感到不自在呢？不自在的原因是你不知道怎样跟悲痛的家属说一些安慰的话。
Not to worry. Many people experience this.
别担心。很多人都有这样的感受。
On today's Ask a Teacher, Xuan from Vietnam asks:
在今天的《名师答疑》中，来自越南的Xuan问道：
"Dear VOA, how can I express my sympathy at a funeral? Thanks!" -Xuan, Vietnam
亲爱的《美国之音》栏目，我要怎样在葬礼上表达自己的关心呢？谢谢啦！
Dear Xuan, I am so sorry for your loss.
Xuan你好，您失去了他/她，我感到很惋惜。
That is one example of a common and caring thing you can say.
这是一种常见的说法，可以表达关心。
In Western culture, people traditionally show sympathy at funerals in two ways: by giving flowers and by offering kind words to the people most affected by the death.
在西方文化中，人们一般会通过两种方式来表达在葬礼上的关心：送花、对逝者家属说一些善意的话。
To show sympathy before or after a funeral, many people have flowers or a plant delivered to the grieving family.
无论是在葬礼前还是葬礼后，为了表达关心，很多人会送花或者植物给悲痛的家属。
Other people bring flowers to the funeral itself.
还有一些人会把花带去葬礼现场。
But some families may ask people to give money to a charity they identify instead.
但有些家属可能会让大家把钱捐给他们认可的慈善机构。
If the family says what they want, it's important to follow their wishes.
如果家属表达了自己的意愿，那么遵从家属的意愿是很重要的。
Next, even though it feels uncomfortable, always speak to the family of the deceased at a funeral, memorial or visitation.
接下来就是，即便会感觉不自在，也要在葬礼、追悼会上或者探望的时候跟逝者家属说一些话。
Avoid saying more than necessary.
请避免说一些不必要的话。
You need only a few simple and caring words.
只需要一些简单的关心就好。
Here are some choices:
以下是可以说的话：
I am so sorry for your loss.
您失去了他/她，我感到很惋惜。
Your [mother / husband] was loved by many.
我们都很喜欢您的母亲/丈夫。
You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
我会一直为您和您的家人祈祷的。
I wish I had the right words. Just know that I care.
我不知道我的言语是否得当，只希望表达自己的关心。
I don't know how you feel but I'm here to help in any way I can.
我无法感同身受，我来这里只是希望尽我所能地帮到您点儿什么。
My favorite memory of your [mother / husband] is...
我对您母亲/丈夫最深刻的印象是……
There are also a few things to avoid saying at funerals.
葬礼上有一些话是要避免的，
Here are some examples:
比如：
[She / he] is in a better place now.
她/他现在去了更好的地方了。
You will feel better soon.
您很快就会觉得好点了。
At least [he / she] lived a long life.
至少他/她蛮长寿的。
At least [he / she] didn't suffer much.
至少他/她没经历太多痛苦。
God only gives you what you can handle.
这样的事情是大家都能承受的范围。
Though your intentions are good, such comments may be received as uncaring or insensitive.
虽然你是好意，但这样的言论可能会被人认为是漠不关心或者麻木不仁。
It's almost never easy to express sympathy to a person or family for the loss of their loved one.
向失去挚爱的家属表达关心并不容易。
But it is usually worse to say nothing.
但什么也不说的话会更糟糕。
And saying some of the kind words you learned today will likely be appreciated more than you know.
将今天所学的善意关心用于实际中，心意就更有可能被别人收下。
And that's Ask a Teacher.
以上就是本期名师答疑的全部内容。
I'm Alice Bryant.
我是爱丽丝·布莱恩特。
