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Today we're making the shut the f* up sandwich, which is a great sandwich to make for anyone with an out-of-control pipe hole.
今天我们做闭嘴三明治，对于任何管不住嘴的人来说，这都是一个很棒的三明治。
You suck at cooking, yeah you totally suck.
你的厨艺弱爆了，完全弱爆了。
The first and most important component of this sandwich is steak.
这种三明治最重要的成分是牛排。
I'm using ribeye steak and we'll start by patting that down like a good boy.
我用的是肋眼牛排，拍一拍这个牛排，好像它是一个好孩子一样。
Then seasoning with salt and pepper pepper pepper.
然后用盐和胡椒胡椒胡椒调味。
Some professional chefs think it's best to take the cover off the grinder before seasoning.
一些专业厨师认为，在调味之前，最好把盖子拿开。
But that's just an elitist five-star chef thing and it really comes down to personal preference.
但精英五星级厨师这样做就行了，拿不拿掉盖子其实就是个人喜好问题。
I've got my piping hot pan with piping hot oil, which is great because this sandwich will be able to go down anyone's pipe hole to help them pipe down.
滚烫的锅里有滚烫的油，很好，因为这个三明治可以进入任何人的食管，让他们闭上嘴巴。
If you make it good enough, it might even help you to lay some pipe because you'll have the strength and energy to dig those trenches and get that pipe into the ground.
如果你做的三明治足够好，它甚至还能帮你铺一些管道，因为吃了三明治你就有力气和精力去挖渠、埋管道了。
I'm going to get a sear going on one side for a few minutes.
把牛排的一面煎几分钟。
Then give it a flip and add in some butter and some rosemary.
然后把它翻过来，加入一些黄油和迷迭香。
And basting the steak so it'll taste better in case with this rosemary paste.
然后把油浇在牛排上，这样迷迭香酱就能入味，味道会更好。
But don't race or it'll splash your face and that'll feel bad like mace.
但不要浇得太快，否则油会溅到你的脸上，让你的脸变成肉豆蔻干皮。
So go at a reasonable pace, leaving no feasible trace of that butter based anywhere but the cast iron case.
所以速度要适中，除了铸铁锅之外，在任何地方都不要留下黄油的痕迹。
The reason we add butter is not for flavor, but to help gum up that throat hole
添加黄油的原因不是为了调味，而是为了黏住喉咙孔，
so that it will help restrict the passage of air when you feed it to someone whose words make your ears hurt.
这样当你把三明治喂给那个吵得你耳朵疼的人时，黄油就会帮助限制空气通过喉咙。
And we'll let that rest, hopefully in the same way that this sandwich will force their larynx to rest.
让牛排休息一会儿，希望这个三明治也能同样让他们的喉咙休息。
Then we'll slice it up into whatever thickness of pieces you feel like cramming into your face hole.
然后把牛排切成你想要塞进嘴巴里的任何厚度的薄片。
I'm going with this exact thickness because I didn't really think about it and I've never made this sandwich before.
我要切成这个厚度，因为我没怎么思考过，而且我以前从来没有做过这个三明治。
The T in the shut the f* up sandwich stands for tabasco,
闭嘴三明治中的T代表塔巴斯科辣椒酱，
the tingly numbness of which is bound to slow down any flap-trapper at least for a moment by generating mucus, which makes pronunciation more difficult.
辣椒酱辣得让嘴巴又痛又麻，肯定会让嘴皮子动个不停的人至少消停一会儿，辣椒酱会让人分泌唾液，让嘴巴更难发音。
We're adding mayo to this especially for the thickness, which adds another layer of vocal chamber challenge.
在辣椒酱中加入蛋黄酱，主要是为了让酱更粘稠，这就给发声口腔又添加了一层挑战。
The F in the shut the f* up sandwich stands for focaccia, which is one of the most sound-absorbing bread on the planet.
闭嘴三明治中的F代表佛卡夏，这是地球上最吸音的面包之一。
When cutting the bread, remember your goal is to fill a mouth-sized hole, so cut according to the size and shape of the intended k-hole.
切面包时，记住你的目标是填满一个嘴巴大小的洞，所以要根据放入的洞的大小和形状来切面包。
These big bubbles in the focaccia are the enemy of sound waves, absorbing anything that comes remotely close.
佛卡夏面包中的这些大气泡是声波的敌人，它会吸收任何和它距离不远的东西。
They absorb so much sound that fashia is more effective than noise-cancelling headphones.
这些气泡能吸收非常多的声音，以至于佛卡夏面包比降噪耳机更有效。
So you can make your own set of focaccian to wear at a concert or during your imploding relationship.
所以你可以自己做一套佛卡夏耳机，在音乐会或者在你们感情破裂的时候戴着。
And finally the U in the sandwich stands for Un-ion.
最后，三明治里的U代表洋葱。
We're going to chop up this onion and start to carmalize it.
我们要把这个洋葱切碎，然后让它焦糖化。
Pan is on medium low with some oil and this is how you're not going to crowd the pan since I've read you're not supposed to do that.
平底锅开中低火，倒点油，不要像我这样把锅塞得太满，因为我在书上读到说不应该这样做。
But I think the results speak for themselves, meaning that onions can't talk, which aligns with our greater goals here.
但我认为结果会为自己发声，这意味着洋葱不会说话，这与我们更宏大的目标是一致的。
And you'll notice that suddenly the onions got really brown here.
你会注意到，洋葱突然变成了棕色。
This is a phenomenon known as...
这个现象被称为......
I got distracted putting on this sick temporary tattoo. So sick.
我走神了，因为我在贴这个很酷的纹身贴。太酷了。（注：sick在口语中可以表示很酷的、很赞的。）
The good news is they're still going to taste good because browning is the entire point.
好消息是，洋葱的味道仍然很好，因为变成棕色是关键。
I don't know much about caramelizing onions.
我对洋葱焦糖化了解不多。
I just do it until they turn into this sort of onion sludge, which tastes really good.
反正我就一直炒，直到它们变成这种洋葱泥，这种洋葱超好吃。
By the way, the U also stands for Urugula.
顺便说一句，U也代表芝麻菜。（注：芝麻菜即arugula。）
Now we're ready to start assembling.
现在准备组装三明治了。
We've got the sound dampening sheet here.
这里是吸音面包片。
We'll add the throat-thickening Tobasco mayo on both sides.
在两片面包上都涂上糊嗓子的辣椒酱加蛋黄酱。
We're going to lay our steak out in strips.
把牛排横着排成一排。
Top that with our caramelized onions and some arugula.
在上面放上焦糖洋葱和一些芝麻菜。
Then slap on another soundproofing layer.
然后把另一块隔音面包放上去。
And now you can give this sandwich to that special someone who makes you feel really thirsty for silence.
现在你可以把这个三明治送给那个让你感到非常渴望安静的特别的人。
Oh babe we don't have to talk.
哦，宝贝，我们不必说话。
It's getting really close to shut-the-f*-up clock.
现在已经非常接近闭嘴时间了。
We're getting hungry.
我们开始饿了。
What do you want to eat?
你想吃什么？
Well, it can be anything, I mean.
什么东西都可以。
It's a bit too early to have lunch.
现在吃午餐有点早。
How about I make you an exceptional brunch.
我给你做一顿特别的早午餐怎么样。
I've got a special recipe for you to shut the f* up with me.
我有一个特别的食谱，吃了能让你在我身边时闭上嘴。
And I think you'll agree it's good.
我想你会同意这个食谱很棒。
Let's spend the day together shutting the f* up, then we'll see.
让我们闭上嘴巴共度一天吧，然后就知道了。
