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Okay, so I'm gonna try to find some wild bananas;
我在试试找一些野生香蕉，
I've got my banana magnet here.
这是我的香蕉磁力器。
Hopefully it's not too late in the season to find them in the trees.
但愿现在在树上找香蕉还不算太晚。
If it is, then you can also find them on the ground.
如果季节已经过了，可以在地上找找。
That's it. Come to Papa.
有了，过来吧小子。
Awww, this one's just a baby.
啊，这是个香蕉宝宝。
You suck at cooking, yeah, you totally suck!
你的厨艺弱爆了，完全弱爆了。
Good banana bread starts with ripe bananas, or overripe bananas.
要做美味香蕉面包，首先要有熟香蕉，或者熟过头的香蕉。
If you make banana bread with bananas that are too young, it'll taste like it hasn't lived any life.
要是用太青涩的香蕉做香蕉面包，面包尝起来就像它从来没活过一样。
Unless you're using young, daredevil bananas.
除非你用的是又青涩又喜欢冒险的香蕉。
I regret nothing!
此生无悔啊！
Or, if your bananas aren't ripe enough,
要是你的香蕉不够成熟，
you can just draw on some freckles until they look ripe, and that will make them taste sweet.
可以画上几颗雀斑，给它一种成熟的感觉，这样会让香蕉更甜。
Unless the placebo effect is a bunch of hogwash.
除非安慰剂效应是胡说八道。
Checkmate, science.
认输吧，科学。
So, we're gonna take 3/8 of a cup of vegetable oil and put that in a bowl.
碗里倒入八分之三杯植物油，
Then, add 3/4 of a cup of packed brown sugar,
再加入四分之三杯压实的黄糖，
and wangjangle that around until you get Wet Sludge Fudge.
然后搅拌搅拌，直到变成一坨湿乎乎黏糊糊的软糖。
Now we're gonna take a couple eggs, and fry them until they're just barely cooked. Then, eat them, because you deserve a snack.
现在拿几个鸡蛋，稍微煎一下，煎到鸡蛋刚刚变熟就行了，然后把鸡蛋吃掉，因为你值得吃点零食。
Then, beat another couple eggs and add them to the oil fudge to create a slippery sugar omelet.
然后再拿几个鸡蛋，打进那坨加了油的软糖里，让它变成一个滑溜溜的甜味鸡蛋卷。
and wangjangle that together, until the sugar gets even more melty.
继续搅拌，直到这坨东西变得更丝滑。
Now, we're gonna strip down two bananas.
现在给两个香蕉剥皮。
You can use 3 if you like, and mash them until they look like vegan Pablum.
也可以用三个香蕉，然后捣碎，直到看起来像素食的婴儿米糊。
Leaving chunks in banana bread is for people who don't think cooked fruit is gross.
觉得煮熟的水果不是很恶心的人可以在面包里保留一些香蕉碎块。
I like to chunk hunt until I can do banana shots. Cheers.
我喜欢把碎块都消灭，直到可以把香蕉一杯喝下去。干杯。
Now we'll add the banana pablum to the egg shake, with a half teaspoon of vanilla, and wangjangle like there's no tomorrow.
现在把香蕉糊糊倒入鸡蛋糊糊，再加半勺香草精，然后像活不过明天一样地死命搅拌。
And then remember there is a tomorrow, and do your best not to panic over it.
要记住还是有明天的，而且请努力不要为明天感到惶恐。
Now, we'll take one and a half cups of all-purpose flour,
现在倒入一杯半的中筋面粉，
Also known as freshly fallen wheat snow, which we'll pour into our measuring cup, before pouring into our vessel of wang-janglitude.
这种面粉也叫新鲜小麦雪花，倒进量杯后再倒进搅拌容器。
Add to that one teaspoon of baking soda, and a half teaspoon of salt.
再加入一勺烘焙苏打和半勺盐。
Then we'll use a fork to sift the baking sand together, until the only thing you see is the color white.
然后用叉子把粉末搅拌均匀，直到你只能看到一片白色的东西。
Now it's time to combinate. Pour one bowl into the other,
现在开始混合。把一个碗里的东西倒进另一个碗里，
then root out any secret dust chambers, until you have exterminated dryness from this baking universe.
然后消灭所有的秘密粉末团，直到这个烘焙宇宙里的干燥物都被消除。
For additional banana flavor, don't be afraid to go to town with your banang-jangler.
要想增加香蕉的味道的话，请勇敢地拿出你的香蕉搅拌器。
Give your loaf pan an oily car wash with artisan cooking spray that globs into mini grease pools,
像洗车一样给吐司烤盘喷上一层匠造不粘锅喷雾油，喷雾会聚积成小型油洼，
Then, pour our sweet and salty banana sludge smoothie poridge glue stew slop inside.
然后把之前的甜咸香蕉软糖奶昔浓粥胶体乱炖倒进去。
Undos on three fundo, and that's gonna go inside for 55 minutes.
烤箱350度，让它烤个55分钟。
Now, that's finished and we'll let it cool for 15 minutes for some reason.
烤完了，出于某种原因让它放凉15分钟，
Probably because the steam will escape, and it will solidify, and be easier to take out of the loaf pan.
可能是让蒸汽挥发，这样它会变得更像固体，更容易从烤盘里拿出来。
If you have cats in the house, and you can't keep an eye on it,
如果你家里有猫，而且没办法一直守着这个面包，
You're gonna have to set a cat alarm around the perimeter of the banana loaf. Let's test that out.
那就必须在香蕉面包周围放上猫咪报警装置，我们来试一下。
Don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious! You fearless bastard.
不要瞎好奇，不要瞎好奇，你个没怕劲儿的小混蛋。
So 15 minutes have passed, you can pop that out of the loaf pan.
15分钟到了，可以把面包从烤盘里倒出来了。
Slice it, and this stuff tastes good on its own or with some salted butter.
切成片，直接吃就很好吃，也可以加一点咸黄油。
And if you want to make sure people know what flavor this loaf is, you can set it on top of a set of banana stilts.
如果想确保别人知道这面包是什么口味的，可以把它架在香蕉柱子上。
or to make the most authentic banana bread, create your own tin foil mold, and bake it into the shape of a banana.
要想做出最逼真的香蕉面包，可以用锡纸自制模具，然后把面包烤成香蕉形状。
This is banana, Banana bread!
这就是香蕉，香蕉面包。
It's a type of bread, that's made with bananas!
这是一种面包，用香蕉做的面包。
This is banana, Banana bread!
这就是香蕉，香蕉面包。
It's more of a cake than a bread, so it makes, nooo sense! ?
其实更像蛋糕，而不是面包，所以完全说不通啊。
It makes no sense to me!
完全说不通。
It's clearly a cake, not a bread!
它明显是蛋糕，不是面包。
Don't call it a bread when it's clearly a cake, don't go make that mistake!
不要把面包叫做蛋糕，不要让一切乱了套。
