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You suck at cooking, yeah you totally suck.
你的厨艺弱爆了，完全弱爆了。
Does anybody know what time it is?
有人知道现在是什么时间吗？
It's time to make a corn and black bean salad!
现在是做玉米黑豆沙拉的时间！
No.
不对。
It's 4:04 P.M. actually.
其实现在是下午4：04。
But, tell me about that salad.
但跟我说说那个沙拉吧。
We got beans! Corn! Onion! Tomatoes! Cilantro! And some diced Jalapeno!
我们有黑豆！玉米！洋葱！西红柿！香菜！还有切成丁的青辣椒！
Do you wanna get a little more specific, in terms of amounts? Or...
你可以讲得更具体一点吗，比如各有多少？或者……
A can of black beans! A can of corn! Half-a-cup of diced onion! A cup of diced tomatoes! Two tablespoons of chopped cilantro! A teaspoon of jalepeno!
一罐黑豆！一罐玉米！半杯洋葱丁！一杯西红柿丁！两勺香菜碎！一勺青椒丁！
Annnnd, what about the dressing?
还有，酱汁（谐音“衣服”）呢？
We've got shorts! Shirt! Socks! Thong!
我们有短裤！短袖！袜子！丁字裤！
Not that kind of dressing.
不是这种衣服。
A quarter-cup of mayo! Two tablespoons of fresh lime juice! A half-teaspoon of cumin!
四分之一杯蛋黄酱！两勺新鲜柠檬汁！半勺茴香籽！
Now what do we do?
现在做什么？
Then we mix it all together!
然后混合在一起！
Okay.
好的
Put in the black beans! Put in the corn!
把黑豆放进去！把玉米放进去！
Actually, I don't need you for this part.
其实，这些你不用教我。
Put in the onions! Put in the tomatoes!
放入洋葱！放入西红柿！
I can hear you.
我听见你了。
I just remembered, my sister told me I could borrow her Vitamix blender on the condition that I use it in my show, so I'm just gonna use her Vitamix to uh, mix this up.
我刚刚想起来，我妹妹说我可以借她的维他密斯搅拌机，条件是在做视频时用，所以我就用她的搅拌机来把这些东西混合起来。
Does a great job, definitely worth six hundred bucks.
搅得不错，绝对值600块钱。
Umm... what about salt and pepper?
嗯，盐和胡椒呢？
THAT'S A REALLY GREAT IDEA!!!
真是一个好主意！！！
Look, there's no need to yell.
嘿，没必要这么大声。
This- this looks more like a dip to me than a salad.
这，这看起来更像蘸料而不是沙拉。
It's sorta like a salad, but it's also a dip!
是有点像沙拉，但也是蘸料！
So how do you eat it?
那要怎么吃呢？
You can eat it off a plate! Or out of a bowl! You can eat it off an onion! Or off of a lime! You can eat it from a sharp can!
可以装在盘子里吃！装在碗里吃！放在洋葱上吃！放在柠檬上吃！还可以装在锋利的罐子里吃！
Okay don't do that, that's dangerous. You could cut yourself.
别这样吃，很危险，可能会割伤你自己。
YOU'RE A BIG BABY!!!
你简直是个小孩子！！！
I'm not a baby, it's just a safety thing.
我不是小孩子，这样安全一些。
Are you done?
你说完了吗？
You can eat it from a mug! You can eat it off a piece of wood! Eat it off a skateboard! Or if you're feeling crazy, you can eat it off a rice cake!
可以放在杯子里吃！放在木头上吃！放在滑板上吃！如果你玩疯了，还可以放在米饼上吃！
The truth is, I think the stuff is probably best as a nacho dip or maybe a side salad, but I'm not really sure.
其实我觉得这东西可能最适合用玉米片蘸着吃，或者作为沙拉配菜，我不确定。
It's actually really good on the rice cake.
配着米饼吃真的很不错。
You suck at cooking, oh my god, you suck.
你的厨艺弱爆了，天啊，弱爆了。
You suck at cooking, oh my god, you suck so much at cooking.
你的厨艺弱爆了，我的天，你的厨艺太弱了。
You suck so much at cooking, you.
你的厨艺弱爆了，你呀。
