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Potato chips come from potatoes. You can make them by smashing a potato against the wall, or by smashing a potato against a potato.
薯片来自马铃薯。把土豆往墙上一撞就有了薯片，或者把土豆往土豆上撞也可以。
You can roll a potato across your cutting board, or if you're really stuck, you can buy them in a bag.
还可以让土豆从切菜板上滚过去，如果你真的卡壳了，可以买一包薯片。
If you're making these in the middle of the night, you can put your noise-canceling headphones on the chip bag to keep it quiet.
你如果是在晚上处理薯片，可以给薯片袋子戴上降噪耳机，让它安静下来。
There's many kinds of chocolate you can use. I'm using semi-sweet baking chocolate, which is named that because it has similar sweetness to a semi-truck.
很多种巧克力都可以用。我用的是半甜烘焙巧克力，之所以叫“半甜”是因为它和“半卡车”的甜度相似。
To melt the chocolate you can make a double boiler by putting one pan or heat-safe bowl inside another pan with some heated water.
融化巧克力的时候可以做一个双层加热器，把一个锅或可以加热的碗放进另一个装了热水的锅中。
This keeps your chocolate from burning because your water will only heat up to around a thousand degrees, or whatever, which is less than the burning point of chocolate, which is like two thousand degrees, or something.
这样可以防止巧克力烧焦，因为水加热的温度只会达到1000华氏度左右，这比巧克力2000多华氏度的燃点要低。
Keep it to a low simmer, because if any water gets in the chocolate you'll ruin it.
让水保持微微沸腾，因为如果巧克力里进了水就完蛋了。
If you have extra delicate chocolate, feel free to make a quadruple boiler instead or you can just heat your chocolate on low while continually stirring because you're a smart person who pays attention, and you don't need a bowl of water regulating the temperature of your life.
如果你的巧克力特别娇贵，完全可以做一个四层加热器，或者用低火直接加热，同时不断搅拌，因为你是个细心的聪明人，不需要用一碗水来调节你生活的温度。
You can also melt chocolate with a hairdryer while simultaneously getting ready for a hot date.
也可以用吹风机来融化巧克力，同时还能做个发型去赴一场热辣的约会。
Or you can live in a hot as fuck apartment and put the chocolate in a bowl and watch it melt away along with all your ambition.
或者你可以住在一个热死人的公寓，把巧克力放在碗里，看着它和你所有的雄心壮志一同融化。
While you're at it put your bed in a double boiler to keep the temperature down.
这样做的话，要把床放在双层加热器里，让温度降低。
Once the chocolate's melted, you can go ahead and dip those chips.
巧克力融化之后，可以去把薯片蘸上巧克力。
Feel free to use a pair of tweezers if you don't want to contaminate them, or use a pair of pliers if you wanna take the sensitive touch challenge
如果不想让巧克力受污染的话，尽管用镊子，或者钳子，如果你想挑战一下灵敏度。
Certified Sensitive. Yes!
灵敏度合格。好耶！
Feel free to load your chips up with chocolate or do a light graze if you prefer boring things.
完全可以把薯片蘸上厚厚一层巧克力，如果你喜欢平淡的东西，也可以浅蘸一点。
You can also work that rim, or if you have an extra sensitive palette, just waft chocolate fumes towards the chip.
也可以在边上蘸一圈，如果你的味蕾极其敏锐，那么把巧克力的香气扇到薯片上就行了。
Lay them on some parchment paper then put them in the heat remover to cool and harden or if you want to be professional about it, hang them from your heat subtractor clothesline with care.
把薯片放在羊皮纸上，然后放在比较冷的地方冷却变硬，如果想专业一点，可以小心地用晾衣绳把它们悬挂起来。
But if you want to do this the easiest way possible, build a rube goldberg machine to dip the chips automatically.
但是如果想用最简单的办法，那就是做一个鲁布·戈德堡机械装置来自动蘸薯片。
Only do that if you wanna really save a lot of time.
只有在你真的想节省很多时间的时候再这样做。
Dipping strawberries in chocolate has its own set of challenges mainly in the grip department.
把草莓蘸上巧克力的最大挑战在于抓握。
You might think you can just grab the stem and dip, but many stems aren't strong enough, in which case you should give your strawberries a set of barbells to do some strength training.
你或许认为可以直接抓着草莓柄然后去蘸，但很多草莓柄很容易断，这种情况下，可以给草莓几个杠铃，让它做做力量训练。
But a better approach is to get it in the chocolate then use your strawberry harpoon to retrieve it.
但更好的做法是让草莓待在巧克力里，然后用草莓鱼叉把它取出来。
Now throw those strawberries on your temperature reducer drying rack until they cool and harden.
现在把这些草莓放在降温风干架子上，直到它们冷却变硬。
Power stone crush some almonds with love and wangjangle them into some chocolate to create choco-almond clusters.
用能量之石碾碎爱之杏仁，然后把杏仁碎和巧克力混合，做成杏仁巧克力团。
While you're at it power stone crush some espresso beans to create almond coffee chocolate clusters.
顺便用能量之石碾碎一些咖啡豆，做一些杏仁咖啡巧克力团。
Use a chopstick to make them into a specific shape, such as the shape of a clump.
用一根筷子来把它们做成特定的形状，比如团状。
Those are some nice looking cluster stuffed nuts.
这些都是很漂亮的坚果团。
If you don't have a lot of room in your fridge you can cut your parchment paper to a size that will fit or put them inside an arctic ice castle.
如果冰箱里地方不够，可以把羊皮纸剪成放得进去的形状，或者把它们放进冰雪城堡。
Then combine a chocolate dipped chip, strawberry and coffee nut stuffed cluster to make a choco-almond coffee 'tato berry crunch surprise.
然后把蘸了巧克力的薯片、草莓和咖啡坚果团放在一起，就成了杏仁巧克力咖啡土豆草莓惊喜脆。
The surprise is that you already know what's inside it,
惊喜就是你已经知道里面都有什么了，
and then bask in the knowledge that you'll never be able to enjoy any of these things without chocolate again.
然后全然知晓如果没有巧克力，你再也没法觉得其中任何一样东西是好吃的。
Faaantastic.
妙极了。
