You suck at cooking, yeah, you totally suck.
你的厨艺弱爆了,完全弱爆了。
Brussels Sprouts
小圆白菜
I'm gonna start by cutting the nubs off.
首先把头切掉。
Hey, get back. Yeah now watch, it's gonna play dead.
嘿,快回来。看着吧,它要装死了。
That's probably good.
这些差不多行了。
We want to just peel off any gross leaves, or any that rub you the wrong way.
我们还要把烂叶子剥掉,看着讨厌的叶子都剥掉。
Give these a good wash.
把它们洗干净。
Lay out a towel.
铺一块毛巾。
Wrap them in a ball. Shake and squeeze. Shake and squeeze.
包成一个球。摇一摇,捏一捏。摇一摇,捏一捏。
Damn it, I squeezed too hard.
我去,我捏得太紧了。
The way to remedy this is...Much like with the onion chopping technique.
补救的办法就是……和切洋葱的办法很像。
I mean, you don't want to let it go. You want to hold it firmly in your hand, and then just give it a good bash.
我是说,不要让它掉下去,而是牢牢地抱住它,然后猛地一撞。
Olive oil. Probably too much. Pepper pepper pepper. Salt. That was a lot.
橄榄油。可能放多了。胡椒,胡椒,胡椒。盐。放了好多。
Now shake it up.
然后摇一摇。
Take a pan, take some tinfoil, pour them on. Delicately arrange them.
拿一个盘子,铺一些锡纸,把菜倒上去。精心摆放一下。
Throw them in the oven, close the door, on 400. We're gonna wait 10 minutes or so.
丢进烤箱,关上门,调到400度。大概要等10分钟。
I learned a little while ago just how difficult it is to clean an oven door...so gross.
我刚刚发现烤箱门真是不好清洁...太恶心了。
Let's check on these guys.
我们来看看这些小东西吧。
"Help, help!"
“救命啊,救命啊!”
It's been about 10 minutes or so. You just want to take the pan out.
已经过了10分钟左右了。可以把盘子拿出来。
Wanna get them all wrestled up. Really wrestle them up and turn them over.
把它们好好搅一搅。搅和搅和,然后翻一翻。
Give them a nice good wrestling. Really want to get in there and wrastle it all up.
不停地搅啊搅。要把所有菜都好好搅一搅。
Trying to get them all on the different sides, so they're completely wrastled.
把菜都翻个面,这样才能完全搅均匀。
You can be delicate if you want and just specifically flip them over too.
如果愿意的话,也可以温柔一点,就是一个一个地翻面。
You gotta be fast! You gotta be fast, like catching a gator! Look at that!
速度要快!速度要快,像抓小鳄鱼那样快!快看啊!
You guys are going back in the hot jail, yeehaw! Crime doesn't pay, boys!
你们又要回到滚烫监狱了。犯罪是划不来的,小家伙们!
It's been another 10 or 12 minutes.
又过了10到12分钟了。
Let's just...let's wrastle these on up a little bit more.
我们……我们再把这些菜翻一翻。
Let's find out where we're at. Let's take a thick one. Cut it. and uh...
看一下烤得怎么样了。挑个大一点的。切开,嗯……
That was pretty much done.
这样差不多就行了。
I mean I might put this in for a few more minutes, but...
我可能还是要它们放进烤箱再烤几分钟,但是
You know what? Just try them every now and then to see what you think, I guess.
要不这样?我觉得每过一会儿就尝一下,看看怎么样。
You do wanna probably finish these with a little more salt in the end, and then it'll be pretty good.
最后可以再加一点盐,然后就会变得非常好吃。
Yeah.
好了。
Brussels sprouts, where are you going?
小圆白菜,你要去哪里?
What you think about when you're rolling?
你滚来滚去的时候,在想些什么?
Brussels sprout, what you do at night?
小圆白菜,你晚上都干些什么?
When you're in the cupboard with no light?
当你在橱柜里,没有一点光?
Are you heading to meet with your friends?
你是要去见朋友吗?
Or just to see where the world ends?
还是要看看哪里是世界的尽头?
Don't even get dressed when you go out,
出门的时候衣服也不用换,
Cause you ain't got no doubt, brussel sprout.
因为你心无疑虑,小圆白菜。
Now you're free and you're rolling around,
现在你自由自在,滚来滚去,
with your body on the soft ground.
圆圆的身体在软软的地面上。
Did you know you taste better than trout?
你知道吗?你比鳟鱼还要美味。
And one of your great qualities is you never pout, oh oh.
你最大的一个优点就是你从不恼怒地噘嘴,哦,哦。
Got your whole future spread out ahead.
大好的未来就在眼前。
Free to do whatever comes in your head.
想做什么都可以去做。
If you don't want little brussel kids running about,
如果不想让小小圆白菜到处跑,
Then you better pull out, brussel sprout.
那你最好当心了,小圆白菜。
I'm gonna miss you, brussels sprout.
我会想你的,小圆白菜。
I really wanted you in my mouth.
真想念你在我嘴里的时候。
I'm really gonna miss that time we spent.
真想念我们在一起的时光。
When I bought you and then I was gonna cook you, yeah
那时我把你买来,把你烤熟。
Yeaaaahhaaah, Yeah, Yeeeaaahhhah.
耶~耶~耶~
You suck at cooking, oh my god, you suck.
你的厨艺弱爆了,我的天,弱爆了。
You suck at cooking, oh my god, you suck so much at cooking.
你的厨艺弱爆了,我的天,你的厨艺真的弱爆了。
You suck, so much, at cooking, you.
你的厨艺,完全,弱爆了。