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We're gonna start by hunting down some wild long grain white rice.
首先我们要寻找一些野生长粒白米。
Ooh perfect.
哦，真棒。
Now we'll just crack this open and pour in one cup.
现在我们把它打开，倒入一个杯子里。
Then we'll add in one and a half cups of tame water.
然后加入一杯半水。
And a teaspoon of feral salt.
再加一茶匙野生盐。
Careful. We'll put that on the stove on high.
小心点，我们要把它放在炉子上加热。
And wait until the water starts to panic then turn it down to low until it calms tf down.
直到水开始沸腾，然后把火调低，直到它平静下来。
Then throw on the pan ceiling for around 20 minutes.
盖上锅盖继续煮20分钟左右。
If you don't like canned rice, you can go hunting inside the crusty old crack of a lag and pull out a rice nugget.
如果你不喜欢罐装米，可以去坚硬的裂缝里寻找，拿出一个米粒块。
Then break that down into rice-icles.
然后把它们分解成米柱。
And if you don't like any form of wild rice, you can always use trained rice.
如果你不喜欢任何形式的野生大米，你可以使用经过训练的大米。
This rice has been trained to play dead.
这种被训练过的大米会装死。
But if you don't have any of the long grain white rice I called for when I wrote this recipe, just use whatever you have.
但如果你没有我写这个食谱时要求的长粒白米，那就用你有的。
Now we're going to dice a small red onion and a jalapeno.
现在我们要切一个小红洋葱和一个墨西哥辣椒。
Or any color onion and any color jalapeno.
或者任何颜色的洋葱和墨西哥辣椒。
Then add three tablespoons of olive oil to a pan on medium heat.
然后在平底锅中加入三勺橄榄油，用中火加热。
And once that starts to shimmer like a sexy robot, we'll add in the onion and jalapeno.
一旦它开始像性感的机器人一样闪闪发光，我们就加入洋葱和墨西哥胡椒。
And wangjangle that until the onion starts to brown.
然后一直煎到洋葱开始变黄。
Maybe around seven minutes.
大概七分钟左右。
If you can't get a jalapeno, a really bad substitute would be a pickle, or green Jell-o cut into the shape of a pickle.
如果你买不到墨西哥辣椒，那么腌黄瓜或者切成腌黄瓜形状的绿色果冻是非常糟糕的替代品。
If you don't have one, don't worry.
如果你没有也不要担心。
It will still taste good, probably.
这可能尝起来也还不错。
I'm pretty sure, I mean I know for sure.
我很确定，我是说我很确定。
Now it's time to collect some wild river beans.
现在是时候收集一些野生河豆了。
Mmmmmm, perfect.
嗯~，完美。
Now we'll roll out the black beans, also known as masculine blueberries,
现在我们准备一些黑豆，也被称为雄性蓝莓。
And put them in the pan. The way you can tell if your black beans are ripe is if you have black beans, then they're ripe.
然后把它们放进锅里。判断黑豆是否成熟的方法是，如果你有黑豆，那么它们已经是成熟的了。
Now we'll scrape the bark off a cumin tree and add in 1.5 tablespoons.
现在我们刮下孜然树的树皮，加入1.5汤匙。
Then we'll scrape a chili vine and add in a teaspoon.
然后刮一根辣椒藤，加入一茶匙。
And a half teaspoon of salt or more to taste.
再加大概半茶匙盐。
This is a spice combination I've been fairly obsessed with over the past couple years,
在过去的几年里，我一直对这种香料组合非常着迷，
you can go with just cumin or some cumin and curry,
你可以只放孜然，或者放一些孜然和咖喱，
Or whatever spice combination satiates your taste-ation.
或者任何满足你口味的香料组合。
During this safe-stacation,
在居家期间，
while you fight stagnation while eating Crustaceans,
你一边吃甲壳类动物一边与停滞作斗争，
I assume? I don't really know, I don't know what you like.
我猜？我真的不知道，我不知道你喜欢什么。
Now we'll wangjangle that together until it's so dry you almost panic.
我们不断搅拌，直到变干燥，弄得你都要慌了。
But instead add half a cup of water to the pan until it's so soupy you almost panic.
转而在锅中加入半杯水，直到它变得浓稠到你几乎要惊慌失措。
But then also don't panic and just cook it off for a couple minutes.
但也不要慌，煮几分钟就好了。
Badjabbers! These beans are coming along nicely.
哇，这些豆子都非常好。
20 minutes have passed, so we'll remove the rice ceiling and fluff that with a fork.
20分钟过去了，我们要把盖子拿掉，用叉子把它弄松。
One cool fact about rice is that it's a good thing to eat.
关于米饭的一个很酷的事实是，它是一种好吃的东西。
So now we'll spoon some of that rice onto a plate and cover it with the beans.
现在我们把一些米饭舀到盘子里，用豆子盖住。
Then you can eat it with a spoon, or a fork, or a spork or a spork, or a spork, or a maximum efficiency fork, or a stick, or a two sticks.
然后你可以用勺子吃，或者用叉子吃，用叉子吃，用叉子吃，或者用最大效率叉子吃，或者用棍子，两根棍子。
Whatever tickles your fancy, unless you don't have any tickling reflex.
只要你喜欢就行，除非你没有挠痒反射。
