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Is your advice any different based on whether the person you’re dealing with is a direct report or a boss or a peer?
与你打交道的人是直接下属、老板还是同事，你的建议有什么不同吗？
Do you need to handle each situation differently just like you would handle the different types in a different way?
您是否需要以不同的方式处理每种情况，就像您以不同的方式处理不同类型的问题一样？
The advice generally works across whatever the reporting relationship is with the other person.
这个建议通常适用于任何汇报关系的人。
However, which tactics you choose to use and how you implement them will be slightly different.
然而，您选择使用哪种策略以及如何实施它们将略有不同。
With a peer, you’re probably just going to implement these tactics very straightforwardly, not have to think much about the power dynamic.
与同龄人在一起，你可能只需要非常直接地实施这些策略，而不必过多地考虑权力动态。
With a direct report, you have to keep in mind how much power you wield over them in terms of what assignments they get or what their salary is.
对于直接下属，你必须记住，在他们得到什么任务或他们的工资方面，你对他们有多大的权力。
And with a boss, you have to do the risk assessment of, is it worth pushing back on this behavior?
和老板之间，你必须做风险评估，这样的行为值得回击吗？
Is it okay for me to be as direct as I want to be?
我可以像我想的那样直截了当吗？
Do I need to maybe be a little more subtle in my feedback or my requests for their behavior change?
我是否需要在我的反馈或我要求他们改变行为时更加微妙一些？
Because you don’t want to damage that relationship.
因为你不想破坏这段关系。
It’s an important relationship, and in many organizations, that hierarchy will require that you not directly confront them.
这是一种重要的关系，在许多组织中，这种等级制度要求你不要直接面对他们。
A lot of times the advice you hear is to have a frank and open and collaborative conversation about it.
很多时候，你听到的建议是就这个问题进行一次坦诚、开放和合作的对话。
But how do you decide on the right timing for that, the right tone for that?
但你如何决定合适的时机和合适的基调呢？
How exactly do you do it?
你到底是怎么做的？
A lot of the advice I share is about not being direct, actually trying to find ways to sort of nudge them to productive behavior, partly because some of the archetypes I explore in the book, like the know-it-all or the insecure manager, don’t respond well to direct confrontation.
我分享的很多建议都是关于不要直截了当，实际上是试图找到某种方法来推动他们采取富有成效的行为，部分原因是我在书中探索的一些原型，比如百事通或缺乏安全感的经理，在直接对抗时反应不佳。
That said, you know me well enough to know I’m a fan of the direct conversation, the collaborative conversation.
也就是说，你很了解我，知道我是直接对话、协作性对话。
You do have to do the risk assessment of what will happen if this goes sideways, if they get really defensive, if they get upset, if I get upset?
你必须做风险评估，如果事情变得一边倒，如果他们变得非常防守，如果他们感到不安，如果我感到不安，会发生什么？
But at the same time you want to do the risk assessment of what if I don’t do anything?
但同时你想做风险评估，如果我什么都不做怎么办？
That’s the first thing is really be clear with yourself about the costs and benefits of that conversation.
第一件事就是你要清楚这种对话的成本和收益。
And then set it up for a time and a place where you can be your best self and they can be their best selves.
然后设定一个时间和地点，在那里你可以做最好的自己，他们也可以成为最好的自己。
Because we often, or at least I should say I often think about, “Well, how do I catch them?”
因为我们经常，或者至少我应该说我经常在想，“那么，我怎么才能抓住他们呢？”
How do I get them in a moment where they’ll hear everything I have to say and admit they’re all wrong?
我怎么才能让他们听到我说的每句话然后承认他们都错了?
But you don’t want them to be in a poor frame of mind because then it won’t be a productive discussion.
但你不希望他们心情不好，因为那样的讨论就不会有成效。
Think about when are you both going to be the least stressed out?
想想你们俩什么时候压力最小？
When are you both going to be not in a rush?
你们什么时候才能不着急呢？
When are you going to both be hopefully slept and in a good mood?
什么时候你才能既睡得安稳又心情舒畅？
After a productive meeting where you and the other person maybe agreed on something, that’s a great time to sort of pull them aside and say, “Hey, can we chat about how we’ve been interacting lately?”
在一次富有成效的会议之后，你和另一个人可能会就一些事情达成一致，这是一个很好的时间，可以把他们拉到一边，说，“嘿，我们能聊聊我们最近是如何互动的吗？”
Or “Can we chat about what happened in the meeting last week?
或者“我们能聊聊上周的会议吗？”
I thought this one went well, but there were some things that happened last week that I really want to bring up with you.”
我认为这次很顺利，但上周发生的一些事情，我真的很想跟你谈谈。”
