前段时间去看完了电影《爱情神话》，看完的时候只是觉得有点意犹未尽，

还有人甚至说B for Busy在上海话里听起来像“不服憋着”，结合剧情倒也说得过去哈哈。我觉得最简单的可能就是回归了生活，B for Busy, 讲的是生活里大家在忙的琐事。

So B for Busy centered on the stories happening in Shanghai. From the perspective of women, the movie explores love, relationships, and friendships among the middle-aged group.

也想到了很久之前看过的一个TED演讲《用更好的方式去谈论爱情，去爱》What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Love.

主讲人Mandy Len Catron说爱情应该是一件合作的艺术品。

She says that “most of us do feel a bit mad in the early stages of romantic love. In fact, there is research to confirm that this is somewhat normal, because, neurochemically speaking, romantic love and mental illness are not that easily distinguished.

我们大多数人在恋情的早期都会感受到些许疯狂。事实上，研究表明这是正常现象， 因为， 从神经学角度来说， 恋情和精神疾病并没有特别大的区别。

To reconcile this, we need to either change our culture or change our expectations. So, imagine if we were all less passive in love, if we were more assertive, more open-minded, more generous and instead of falling in love, we stepped into love.

要缓解这种情况， 我们要不改变我们的文化， 要不改变我们的期望。想象一下， 如果所有人的爱情都没那么被动，少一些固执， 心胸变得更宽广、更开放， 我们就能不再“坠入”爱河， 我们“步入”爱河。

Johnson and Lakoff suggests a new metaphor for love: love as a collaborative work of art.

翰逊和拉克夫提出了爱情的一种新比喻：爱情是一个合作完成的艺术品。

So if love is a collaborative work of art, then love is an aesthetic experience. Love is unpredictable, love is creative, love requires communication and discipline, it is frustrating and emotionally demanding. And love involves both joy and pain. Ultimately, each experience of love is different.

所以假如爱情是合作完成的艺术品， 那么爱情就是一种美学体验。爱情是无法预测的， 爱情是创造性的， 爱情需要沟通，需要规矩， 爱情是令人沮丧的， 会造成很多精神压力。爱情中既有快乐，也有痛苦。而最终，每次爱情经历都是不同的。

Reframing love as something I get to create with someone I admire, rather than something that just happens to me without my control or consent, is empowering.

把爱情当作一个“与我所爱的人共同创造的东西”， 而不是一个不经我控制或同意就发生在我身上的东西，是令人激动的。

When I feel really frustrated, I have to remind myself: my job in this relationship is to talk to my partner about what I want to make together.

当我感到特别沮丧时， 我必须提醒自己：在这段关系中，我的任务是与伴侣交流、沟通我们想共同创造的东西。

This version of love is not about winning or losing someone's affection. Instead, it requires that you trust your partner and talk about things when trusting feels difficult, which sounds so simple, but is actually a kind of revolutionary, radical act.

这种爱情不是为了赢取或者失去某人的爱慕，而是需要你相信你的伴侣， 而且当遇到信任危机时冷静交流，虽说听起来很容易，但这实际上是挺革命性、颠覆性的。

This is because you get to stop thinking about yourself and what you're gaining or losing in your relationship, and you get to start thinking about what you have to offer. This version of love allows us to say things like, "Hey, we're not very good collaborators. Maybe this isn't for us." Or, "That relationship was shorter than I had planned, but it was still kind of beautiful."

因为你可以不再纠结于自身， 这种爱情让我们可以这样说：‘我们之间的合作不是很好。可能这不适合我们吧。’或者说，‘这段爱情比我预计的要短一些， 但它还是挺美好的吧。’

The beautiful thing about the collaborative work of art is that it will not paint or draw or sculpt itself. This version of love allows us to decide what it looks like.

一个合作完成的艺术品的魅力所在， 就是它不会自己描绘或塑造自己。