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Hey psychgoers, welcome back to another psychgo video.
嘿，大家好，欢迎收看另一个视频。
Childhood can arguably be the most important phase of your life have you ever wondered what your life would have been like
童年可以说是你生命中最重要的阶段，你是否想过如果父母的做法不同，
if your parents did things differently.
你的生活会是什么样子。
Your childhood experiences shape you for the rest of your life that includes your parenting if you do plan to have kids.
你的童年经历塑造了你的余生，包括如果你打算要孩子的话，你的育儿方式。
The problem is many parents often don't realize that the things they do will have an impact on their child.
问题是许多父母往往没有意识到，他们所做的事情会对孩子产生影响。
Before we begin, we would like to make a disclaimer that this video contains discussions regarding child abuse and physical abuse.
节目开始之前，我们要声明一下，这段视频包含有关虐待儿童和身体虐待的讨论。
With that being said here are five ways, your childhood affects your parenting.
说了这些后，以下是童年会对你的育儿方式产生影响的五种方式。
One, harsh reactions.
一、严厉的反应。
When a child is upset many parents tend to react harshly.
孩子不高兴时，许多父母往往反应严厉。
For example, the parent might show disapproval and say things like stop crying, there's nothing to be upset about.
例如，父母可能表示不赞成，并说如别再哭了，没什么让你不高兴的事。
Their aim is to show their child that they care and don't want them to be upset.
他们的目的是向孩子展示他们的关心，不想让他们难过。
However, the child might not perceive it that way and instead they might feel like their feelings are invalid.
然而，孩子可能不会这样认为。相反，他们可能会觉得自己的感觉无效。
What does this have to do with the child's future parenting skills?
这与孩子未来的育儿技能有什么关系？
In a study done by SRCD, it was found that children shared the same type of reactions as their parents when they become adults.
儿童发展研究会做过一项研究中，发现孩子们成年后与父母有着相同的反应类型。
Two. Obsession.
二、强迫。
Abuse during childhood can be detrimental towards a person's mental health.
童年时期的强迫可能对一个人的心理健康有害。
Studies done by Psychnet concluded that as a result of child abuse,
Psychnet所做的研究得出结论，由于虐待儿童，
they often obsess themselves with the lives of others as a form of escape from their trauma.
他们常常把自己与他人的生活纠缠在一起，以此作为摆脱创伤的一种形式。
When carried into adulthood, these obsessions can lead to stalking and being abnormally involved in a child's life.
进入成年后，这些困扰会导致怒气冲冲，以及不正常地参与孩子的生活。
This over-involvement results in a significant lack of trust and possible hate between a parent and their child.
这种过度参与导致父母和孩子之间严重缺乏信任，也可能存在仇恨。
Three. Physical abuse.
三、身体虐待。
Physical abuse as a child can often lead one to feel helpless and depressed.
小时候的身体虐待常常会使人感到无助和沮丧。
While most seek medical and therapeutic help, some victims turn to take power.
大多数人寻求医疗和治疗帮助时，一些受害者转而获得控制权。
The only way for them to feel normal again is by becoming the abuser
让他们重新感到正常的唯一方法就是成为施虐者，
and their past helps them justify their actions to do so.
而他们的过去帮助他们为自己的行为辩解。
The wily online library conducted a study
Wily Online Library进行了一项研究，
where they found that it is very likely for childhood abuse to result in the victim becoming an abuser.
他们发现儿童期虐待很可能导致受害者成为虐待者。
If not treated, this cycle of abuse can branch out and affect the lives of more than one person.
如果不加以治疗，这种虐待循环会蔓延开来，影响到不止一个人的生活。
Four. Cycling what you see.
四、循环你所看到的事情。
Cycles are the result of most childhood experiences.
循环是大多数童年经历的结果。
When you experience something, you're more likely to repeat the same experiences with your child.
你经历一些事情时，更有可能在对待孩子时重复同样的经历。
Through numerous studies like that it is found
通过大量这样的研究，
that there is a clear relationship between what is experienced in childhood and what is done in adulthood.
我们发现在童年和成年经历之间有着明显的关系。
Especially, in cases of maltreatment.
尤其是存在虐待的情况下。
Although this correlation is evident, we come to see the opposite in many cases.
尽管这种相关性很明显，但在许多情况下，我们看到了相反的结果。
The significant opposition of what had happened to you in your childhood.
对童年时期发生的事情表示强烈反对。
May make you want to aspire to be a different and better parent.
可能会让你渴望成为一个不同的好父母。
This seems incredibly positive as an idea, but most parents who try to be different overdo it.
这似乎是一个非常积极的想法，但是大多数尝试不同做法的父母都做过头了。
Your parents made you clean too much in your childhood, you might justify being different
你的父母让你在童年时保持清洁，
by teaching your kids no organizational skills at all.
你可能通过让孩子一点组织能力都没有，来证明你的与众不同。
Had a terrible time in school, you might homeschool your child and prevent them from gaining any social skills.
如果你在学校度过了糟糕的时光，你可能会在家里教育孩子，不让他们获得任何社交技能。
This cycle of change can be detrimental to a child's developmental stage
这种变化的循环可能对孩子的发展阶段不利，
in order to successfully be a better parent than your own.
以便成功地成为比自己更好的父母。
It's important to keep a healthy balance of everything.
保持一切事物的健康平衡很重要。
And five. Inability to trust.
五、无法信任。
Do you trust others easily or do you find it hard to be vulnerable around others.
你是很容易相信别人，还是很难在别人身边时示弱。
Trust is an important part of adulthood.
信任是成年的重要组成部分。
The inability to trust someone can leave a person troubled and heavily conflicted.
不能信任一个人会使人陷入麻烦和严重的矛盾。
This lack of trust is often the result of a childhood where one does not feel safe being vulnerable to their parents.
这种缺乏信任的现象往往来自童年时期，那时孩子感到对父母示弱并不安全。
When this happens the brain chooses to put on a defensive mode around people.
这种情况发生时，大脑会选择在人们周围设置防御模式。
A child developing into an adult carries this defensive trust barrier and this may result in dishonesty within a relationship.
一个成长为成年人的孩子会形成这种防御信任障碍，导致在一段关系中不诚实。
Reports given by sage pub suggests that a lack of trust in childhood can ultimately lead to loneliness.
Sage Pub的报告指出，童年缺乏信任最终会导致孤独。
If you want to know more about loneliness, check out our video titled 7 signs you may be lonely.
如果你想了解更多关于孤独的信息，可以收看名为“7个迹象表明你可能孤独”的视频。
The link's in the description.
视频链接在描述中。
Do you plan to have children or do you already have children?
你计划要孩子，还是已经有孩子了？
If so, you can be a successful parent by understanding
如果是这样的话，你可以通过理解
and being self-aware about how your childhood may influence your parenting style.
和意识到童年可能会如何影响你的育儿方式，而成为一个成功的父母。
Did we miss anything?
我们没有提到什么内容吗？
What was your childhood like, let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
你的童年什么样，请在下面的评论中告诉我们你的想法。
Don't forget to share this video with someone who might benefit from it.
记得与可能从视频中受益的人进行分享。
Click on the subscribe button for more videos on psychology and mental health
点击订阅按钮获取更多关于心理学和心理健康的视频。
As always thanks for watching.
感谢收看。
