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Hey, psychgoers and welcome back to our channel.
嘿，大家好，欢迎回到我们的节目。
Your ongoing love and support has helped us make psychology and mental health more accessible to everyone
你们不断的爱和支持帮助我们让每个人都能更容易地了解心理学和心理健康，
and we want to thank you for that.
为此我们向你们表示感谢。
Now, let's begin.
现在，我们开始吧。
Most of us are too busy feeling butterflies or planning outfits
在新恋情的初期，我们大多数人都忙于体会心花怒放的感觉、考虑要穿什么服装
or composing text messages in the early days of new relationships to consider anything else.
或编写消息，而没有考虑其他任何事情。
Your budding relationship is filled with romantic inclinations daydreams and first kisses.
你们处于萌芽期的感情充满了浪漫的白日梦，还有初吻。
But with all that excitement in the air, it can be easy to lose sight of the red flags and warning signs
但是，由于空气中充满了兴奋，很容易就忽略了危险和警告信号，
that they may not be the right fit for you.
你的伴侣可能不适合你。
So, how do you know if you're falling for someone who isn't right for you.
所以，怎么知道你是否爱上了不适合自己的人呢。
In this video, we'll talk about seven signs you're falling for the wrong person.
在这段视频中，我们将讨论你爱错人的七个迹象。
One, you censor yourself around them.
一、你在他们身边审视自己。
Do you hold your tongue when you're around your partner are you afraid that they may get upset with you if you say the wrong thing.
当你在你的伴侣身边时，你是否缄默不语？你是否害怕如果说错话，他们会生气。
As Ellen Bolin a relationship coach for Bustle Digital stated, you'll never want to disappoint or rock the boat.
正如Bustle Digital往的关系教练埃伦·波林所说，你永远不想让人失望或兴风作浪。
So, you worry about how your partner is going to react to what you may want or need.
所以，你会担心伴侣会对你想要或需要的东西做出什么反应。
If you find that you're struggling to communicate effectively with your partner, that could be a red flag
如果你发现自己正在努力与伴侣有效沟通，这可能是个危险信号。
and can cause bigger problems for you down the road if you stay in that relationship.
如果你保持这种关系，可能会给你带来更大的麻烦。
Number two, your relationship makes you emotionally exhausted.
二、你的关系让你情绪疲惫。
Does your relationship stress you out more than not?
你的关系是否让你感到压力过大？
Do you feel sad and stuck with this person?
你是否和这个人在一起时感到悲伤？
Dating expert Samantha Daniels says that a good relationship should leave you feeling energized not drained,
约会专家萨曼莎·丹尼尔斯说，一段好的关系应该让你感到精力充沛，而不是精疲力竭。
and that you might be exhausted by the front you're putting up when you're around them.
当你和他们在一起时，你可能会被自己强撑出来的样子弄得筋疲力尽。
If spending time with your partner exhausts you like this, you might be dating the wrong person.
如果花时间和伴侣在一起让你精疲力竭，你可能就是在和错误的人约会。
Number three, you don't feel safe in your relationship.
三、你的关系不安全。
Has your partner ever been verbally abusive or physically violent?
你的伴侣是否曾出现过辱骂或身体暴力？
If they've ever threatened your safety, then it's best to get out of that relationship.
如果他们曾经威胁过你的人身安全，那么最好离开这种关系。
It's important to take whatever necessary steps you need to remove yourself from an abusive situation
重要的是要采取任何必要的措施，让自己脱离虐待的情况，
and surround yourself with people who can ensure your safety.
让那些能确保你安全的人围绕在你身边。
Psychologist Craig Malkin states that many abuse survivors
心理学家克雷格·马尔金说，许多受虐幸存者
cling to the positive traits in their partners like being affectionate and reliable.
都紧紧抓住伴侣身上的积极品质，比如多情、可靠。
But what may feel like love is often actually fear or distorted hope.
但爱的感觉往往是恐惧或扭曲的希望。
Four, you don't see a future together.
四、你们看不到在一起有什么未来。
Do you see yourself happier?
你觉得自己更快乐吗？
When you think about not being with your partner, this could be a sign that you two are not compatible with each other.
当你想到不和伴侣在一起时，这可能是你俩不合适的表现。
Maybe your goals don't align with theirs or you're both on different trajectories in life.
也许你们的目标不一致，或者你们处在人生的不同轨道。
Whatever the reason is it's best to discern between your infatuation and lasting love.
不管是什么原因，最好能分辨出一时的迷恋和持久的爱。
This will help you see the situation under a clear lens and help you decide if you should stay in the relationship or not.
这有助于你用清晰的视角看待形势，并帮助你决定是否应该继续维持这段关系
Five, your family and friends haven't met them.
五、你的家人和朋友还没见过他们。
Is there something holding you back from introducing your partner to your family and friends?
是不是有什么阻碍了你把伴侣介绍给家人和朋友？
Chances are there's something about this person you wouldn't want your friends or family to know about.
很可能你不想让你的朋友或家人知道这个人的某些事情。
If it's hard for you to integrate them into your inner circle, this is another sign that they aren't a great fit.
如果你很难将他们融入自己的核心圈子，这是另一个迹象表明他们并不适合你。
Number six, having a relationship is their only interest.
六、拥有感情关系是他们唯一的兴趣。
Does it seem like your partner's pursuit of a relationship is their only true interest?
你的伴侣追求一段感情是他们唯一真正的兴趣吗？
Having endeavors outside of your relationship is important.
除去感情关系之外，还有其它需要努力的事情很重要。
If they're not actively pursuing their passion career or shy away from talking of their future plans,
如果他们没有积极地追求自己的事业，或者回避谈论自己未来的计划，
then it might be time to step back and take a good long hard look at them to determine if they're going to stick around.
那么也许是时候退一步，仔细地观察他们，看看他们是否会坚持下去。
And number seven you're thinking of someone else.
七、你在想着其他人。
It's important to note that having small crushes or finding someone else attractive,
重要的是要注意到，有个迷恋对象或发现其他有吸引力的人，
does not mean that you need a new partner.
并不意味着你需要一个新的伴侣。
Rather it could signify that there may be problems that need to be addressed in your current relationship.
相反，它可能意味着在你目前的关系中可能有一些问题需要解决。
A team of relationship counselors from the United Kingdom encouraged those in this position to have an open discussion with their partner.
来自英国的关系顾问小组，鼓励那些处于这种境况的人与其伴侣公开讨论。
Asking questions, such as do we spend as much time together as we used to and do we still set aside time for fun.
问一些问题，比如我们是否像以前一样花那么多时间在一起，我们是否仍留出了娱乐时间。
Having this discussion with your partner can help you both find ways new to reconnect and reignite your spark.
和伴侣讨论这个问题，可以帮助你找到新方法重新建立联系，重新点燃你们之间的火花。
Have you ever fallen for the wrong person before or been in any of these situations before.
你是否爱上过错的人，或者曾经遇到过这样的情况。
Let us know in the comments below
请在下面的评论中告诉我们。
We also wanted to let you know there are resources for domestic abuse in the description
我们还想让你知道，在描述中有关于家庭虐待的资源。
If you think you're in an abusive situation, we want to encourage you to reach out for help.
如果你认为自己处于虐待的境地，我们希望鼓励你寻求帮助。
Please like and share this video if it helped you and you think it can help someone else too.
如果这个视频帮助到你，你也认为它会对其它人有益，请点赞并将其分享。
The studies and resources used are listed in the description below.
下面的描述中列出了所使用到的研究和资源。
Don't forget to hit the subscribe button for more psycho videos.
记得点击订阅按钮，收看更多有关心理学的视频。
Thank you for watching and we'll see you next time you.
谢谢观看，下次再见。
