评论
打印
Parents are often typecast as people who never tire out.
人们常常把父母当作永不疲倦的人。
From feeding kids all hours of the night to being at every Little League game or band concert, they're often cast as superhuman.
从整夜喂孩子到参加每一场少年棒球联赛或乐队音乐会，他们通常被视为超人。
But as obvious as it sounds, parents aren't magical, limitless beings, and they can get burnt out just like anyone else.
但很显然，父母不具有魔法，不是无所不能，他们会像其他人一样心力交瘁。
Well, maybe not just like anyone else.
好吧，也许不像其他人那样。
Research is starting to show that their brand of burnout seems to be unique.
研究开始表明，他们的倦怠感似乎是独一无二的。
And by learning to identify it fast, we can help avoid it.
通过了解这种情况快速进行识别，我们可以帮助避免其产生。
Psychologists define burnout as a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress.
心理学家将倦怠定义为过度和长期的压力导致的情绪、身体和精神上的疲惫状态。
We often associate it with school or work.
我们经常把倦怠和学校或工作联系起来。
And until somewhat recently, this was the main way psychologists thought about it, too.
直到最近，这也是心理学家考虑它时的主要方式。
But lately, they've found that parenthood leads to similar effects.
但不久前，他们发现为人父母也会产生类似的效果。
A study published in 2018 used testimonies from 901 parents, and it identified four main factors to parental burnout.
2018年发表的一项研究中，使用了901名家长的陈述，由此确定导致父母倦怠的四个主要因素。
First, people felt exhausted while parenting, though not necessarily while doing other things like being at work.
首先，人们在为人父母的过程中感到精疲力尽，但不一定是在工作等其他事情上有这种感觉。
They also felt like they were losing pleasure and fulfillment in their parental role.
他们还觉得自己为人父母时，失去了快乐和满足感。。
And finally, burned-out parents emotionally distanced themselves from their children,
最后，精疲力尽的父母在情感上与子女保持距离，
were prone to contrasting parenthood with their lives before kids.
他们倾向于将做父母之后的生活与有孩子之前的生活进行对比。
Those first two traits are pretty similar to career burnout, but this study showed that the last two are unique.
前两个特征与职业倦怠非常相似，但这项研究表明，后两个特征是独特的。
Workers don't tend to dwell on their pre-job lives, and they're also prone to dehumanizing the people they work with,
职员往往不会沉迷于工作前的生活，他们也容易使与他们一起工作的人进行去人性化，
in a way burned-out parents don't seem to dehumanize their kids.
但疲惫的父母看来并没有使孩子去人性化。
Which is reassuring, actually.
事实上，这是令人欣慰的。
Using these four traits as a starting point, you can measure parental burnout with surveys that ask parents to rate how true statements feel.
以这四个特征为出发点，你可以通过调查来衡量父母的倦怠感，这些调查要求父母对陈述的真实感受进行评分。
Things like "I sometimes feel as though I am taking care of my children on autopilot."
比如“我有时觉得自己好像在自动的状态下照顾孩子。”
And these surveys place the frequency of parental burnout at anywhere between 2 and 12%.
这些调查显示，父母倦怠的频率在2%到12%之间。
That's a whole lot of tired parents.
这可是一大堆疲惫的父母。
But this research was done on parents in Europe, so numbers could vary by culture.
但这项研究是针对欧洲父母进行的，因此人数可能因文化而存在差异。
We'll learn more as studies continue.
随着研究的继续，我们会有更多的了解。
Still, considering parental burnout can impact the level of care parents can provide to their kids and themselves, it's important we learn how to identify and reduce it.
尽管如此，考虑到父母的倦怠会影响他们对孩子和对自己的照顾程度，重要的是我们要学会识别和减少这种情绪。
So, how do you figure out when someone is at risk? There seem to be a few ways.
那么，如何判断某人何时处于危险之中？似乎有几种方法。
For example, researchers have looked at the well-tested Big Five personality traits,
例如，研究人员考察了久经考验的大五人格特质，
and they suggest that high levels of neuroticism, and low levels of agreeableness or conscientiousness might make parents prone to burnout.
他们认为高水平的神经质、低水平的宜人性或自觉性可能会使父母容易精疲力竭。
These are traits associated with having a hard time maintaining positive emotional relationships,
这些特质都与难以维持积极的情感关系、
responding to other people's needs, and keeping a well-structured home environment.
回应他人的需求以及保持良好的家庭环境有关。
Things that could make existing parental stress worse.
可能会使现有父母压力更大的事情。
But on the flip side, aiming for perfection can cause burnout, too, as one 2018 on Japanese parents pointed out.
但另一方面，正如2018年一位日本家长指出的那样，追求完美也会导致倦怠。
As any motivational speaker will tell you, no one's perfect.
正如任何鼓舞人心的演讲者告诉你的那样，没有人是完美的。
And chasing that impossible goal can set someone up to expend a lot of physical and mental effort.
追求不可能的目标会让人付出大量的体力和脑力。
That exertion, along with the eventual realization that there's no way to be the perfect parent, can be demoralizing, and send someone into burnout.
这种努力，再加上最终意识到做一个完美的父母是不可能的，会使人感到灰心丧气、精疲力竭。
Finally, and more generally, some researchers believe the balance between parenting risks and resources is a big player in burnout, too.
总体来说，一些研究人员认为，养育子女的风险和资源之间的平衡也是导致倦怠的重要因素。
When the resources at hand — including money, support, or time — aren't enough to meet the demands of parenting, that leads to more stress.
当手头的资源，包括金钱、支持或时间不足以满足养育子女的要求时，会产生更多的压力。
And if that stress is sustained, burnout becomes more and more likely.
如果这种压力持续下去，倦怠的可能性会越来越大。
Thankfully, spotting this stress early can help avert disaster!
谢天谢地，及早发现这种压力有助于避免灾难！
If you notice a parent constantly striving to meet unrealistic goals, it might be time to check if they're doing alright.
如果你注意到父母一直在努力实现不切实际的目标，也许该检查一下他们是否没事。
Helping them avoid burnout could be a case of providing more resources to tip the balance -
可以通过为他们提供更多的资源进行平衡，帮助他们避免出现精疲力尽，
like, offering to take their kids to Little League practice every other week.
比如每隔一周带孩子去参加少年棒球联赛。
For parents, taking time to decompress can also be a great option.
对父母来说，花时间减压也是个不错的选择。
Hiring a babysitter or sending the kids to a relative's place for a night might provide enough room to rest and recalibrate.
雇保姆或者把孩子送到亲戚家过夜，可能会给他们提供足够的休息和重新调整自己的空间。
But those options can be costly or impractical, and might not be an option for everyone.
但这些选择可能代价高昂或不切实际，而且可能不是适合每个人的选择。
So an upcoming 2020 paper suggests a more accessible option Talk it out.
因此，即将于2020年发表的一篇论文提出一个更容易做出的选择，那就是说出来。
Talking about struggling as a parent can feel shameful - there's a lot of pressure to be the World's Number 1 Parent like it says on all those coffee mugs.
谈论为人父母的挣扎会让人感到羞耻——就像咖啡杯上写的那样，要成为世界第一的父母，压力很大。
But engaging with people or groups that acknowledge that parenting is hard can lighten the load.
但是，与那些认识到养育子女很难的人或团体接触可以减轻负担。
Research in other areas of psychology has shown the power of expressing yourself in a non-judgmental atmosphere,
心理学其他领域的研究表明，在非评判性的氛围中表达自己所具有的影响力，
and psychologists believe it could be just as effective with parental burnout.
心理学家认为对父母的倦怠同样有效。
So, yes, science is endorsing getting it all out on parental Facebook groups! Share all the memes!
所以，没错，科学支持在父母的脸书群里把所有的事情都说出来！全部分享！
Just be sure you're not yelling into the void.
只是要确保你没有凭空大喊大叫。
Talking to other people, rather than just talking, is key.
与他人交谈，而不仅仅是说，才是关键。
At the end of the day, burnout is probably not what people hoped for when they became parents.
归根结底，精疲力尽可能不是人们成为父母时希望体验的感受。
But progress is being made about how to identify and avoid it.
但在识别和避免这种情况方面，正在取得进展。
I mean, babysitters and rides to baseball practice aren't magical cures,
我的意思是，请保姆和搭便车去参加棒球训练，并不是神奇的疗法，
but the more we recognize burnout for what it is — a real thing! — the better off we'll be.
但是我们越是意识到精疲力尽是一件真实存在的事，我们就会过得更好。
Thanks for watching this episode of SciShow Psych!
感谢收看本期《心理科学秀》！
If you want to learn more about the psychology of parenting, you might enjoy our video about what having a baby does to your brain.
如果你想了解更多关于养育子女的心理学知识，你可能会喜欢关于讲述有孩子对大脑产生影响的视频。
It's interesting stuff, and you can watch it after this.
这很有趣，你可以随后看一下。
