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And what would you say to a person who lives in an environment where there's domestic violence?
对于一个生活在家庭环境中充满暴力的人，你会对他说什么？
As best you can, identify the resources that are local to you and that you can reach out.
尽你所能，确定你的本地资源，以及你可以接触到的资源。
Have code words so that people can know when you are in serious danger.
要有暗语，这样人们就能知道你处于什么危险之中。
What would you say to that person who is completely alone right now?
现在如果有一个被孤独笼罩的人，你会对他说些什么？
Try to find two people, even from your past, from your history,
试着找两个人，即使是在你过去的经历中，
that you don't know well from work that you can reach out to on a daily basis.
你在工作中不太了解的人，每天都联系他们。
And if you don't have those,
如果你没有这样的两个人，
make sure to look in the next door neighbors and see who needs any help.
一定要看看隔壁的邻居，看看谁需要帮助。
If you can help somebody, you will be useful,
如果你能帮助别人，你就会觉得自己有价值，
you will have purpose and you won't be nearly as alone.
你就会有目标，你就不会像以前那样孤单。
What would you say to a person who has a secret and torrid love affair with their food delivery person?
你会对一个与送餐员进行地下热恋的人说些什么？
You're gonna have to use your imagination, dear.
亲爱的，你得运用你的想象力。
I'm asking for a friend. How would you describe your scenario, Esther?
我在找一个朋友。你如何描述你的情况，埃丝特？
My own scenario? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am here,
我自己的情况？是啊，是啊。我在这里，
I've never spent that much time with my husband in my entire 30-something years together.
在我30多年的时间里，我从来没有花那么多时间和我丈夫在一起。
It's been a treat, actually. That's great. That's-- And that's Jack, right?
实际上，这是一种享受。太棒了。那是-那个人就是杰克，对吗？
That's Jack, indeed, yes. Where is Jack? Jack, make a cameo in this interview.
是杰克，真的，是的。杰克在哪？杰克，让他在这次采访中客串一下吧。
Jack, Jack, Jack? Jack? He's a little bit more shy than me, Jack.
杰克，杰克？杰克？他比我害羞一点，杰克。
Oh, he's shy? We can still get him to participate. Jack? Can you, whoa.
哦，他害羞了？我们还能让他参与到采访中。杰克？你能吗，哇。
Ah, here. Jack's behind the camera. Jack's hiding behind the camera.
啊，在这里。杰克在摄像头后面。杰克躲在摄像头后面。
Jack actually, you know, he paints, you know, and when he needs to be,
事实上，杰克，他在画画，你知道，当他需要的时候，
when he needs his space, he closes his door and he goes into his own creative mind and that's where,
当他需要他的空间时，他会关上他的门，发挥他自己的创造性思维，
that's how we manage to have space between the two of us 'cause we're in a tiny place right now.
这就是我们设法在两人之间保持空间的方式。因为我们现在住在一个面积不大的地方。
Well, whatever works for you guys, right? Let's take a look at some of these paintings.
好吧，只要这种方式对你们奏效，对吧？我们来看看其中的一些画。
Sure. But what was the last thing that made the two of you guys laugh?
当然。你们两个人对什么事感到最不开心？
How much and how fast I fill up garbage cans and then refuse to empty them.
垃圾桶装了太多垃圾，倒垃圾次数多，并且每次都倒不干净。
Very prosaic. As long as that makes you guys laugh together.
生活很平淡。只要能让你们一起开怀大笑。
Now Jack, there you are, how long you been painting for? Oh, my whole life.
杰克，你在这儿，你画了多久了？噢，画了快一辈子了。
And Esther, what's your favorite painting that Jack's made?
埃丝特，你最喜欢杰克画的画是什么？
I mean, I'm not having favorite ones here,
我是说，我这里没有最喜欢的画，
but I'm going to look at a couple of the more recent ones, you know?
但我要看看最近的那几个画，你知道吗？
Okay, let's take a look. Let's, get in there, Jack.
好吧，我们来看看。我们进去吧，杰克。
Because here we are actually building a studio
因为在这里我们实际上正在开一个工作室，
and so it's very small paintings on paper right now
所以现在纸上画的是非常小的画，
and I know he's waiting to burst out on big canvas.
我知道他正等着在大画布上把它放大出来。
All right, Jack, get down a little bit on that,
好吧，杰克，我想看仔细点，
bring that in, let's take a look at your paintings there.
把那个拿起来，让我们看看你的画。
I like this one, actually, quite a bit. I like that too, it's nice.
实际上，我很喜欢这个。我也喜欢，很漂亮。
Now Jack, as a psychologist and a trauma expert,
杰克，作为一个心理医生和创伤专家，
are you guys constantly in each other's heads?
你们是不是一直在想着对方呢？
How does it work when the two of you-- It works like this,
在你们两个人之间是这么回事吗？就像这样，
he deals with pain and I deal with pleasure and, on occasion, we meet.
他处理痛苦，我处理快乐，有时我们会见面。
Well, I guess that means you have a successful formula
好吧，我想如果你们能一起庆祝你们结婚35周年，
if you can celebrate your 35th anniversary together, congratulations. Thank you.
就意味着你的方法奏效了。祝贺你们。谢谢你。
Jack, can you just tilt the camera down just a little bit? Thanks.
杰克，你能不能把摄像头放低一点？谢谢。
Now, what do you think is better for you guys now than, say, a decade ago?
你觉得现在对你们来说什么比十年前更好？
Oh, we have basically stopped trying to change each other.
噢，我们基本上不再试图改变对方了。
You stopped trying? That'll do it, that'll go a long way.
你不再这样了？那样做，我们将会走很长一段路。
Now, it's a shame that you guys are separated from your sons right now.
现在，很遗憾你们现在和你们的儿子分开了。
What do you miss most about being around your sons? Holding them, probably.
哪些日子你最怀念和你儿子在一起？可能他们还在襁褓之中的时候。
Now Jack, this is your opportunity to ask your wife a question, go for it.
杰克，现在你有机会向你妻子提问了，去问吧。
How's it been being out in the country, Esther?
在乡下过得怎么样，埃丝特？
The transformation will be complete when I learn to garden.
当我学会干园艺活的时候，我就彻底地换了个人。
This is what's going to happen, I mean, I'm the total urban person
这就是将要发生的事，我的意思是，我是一个彻头彻尾的城里人，
and here I'm going to be, you know, cultivating my little garden, my vegetable garden.
你知道的，我将在这里耕种我的小花园和菜园。
I would imagine now is a good time to get a green thumb, right?
我想现在是获得园艺技能的好时机，对吧？
You know, Voltaire used to say, everybody needs to be able to cultivate their own garden.
你知道，伏尔泰曾经说过，每个人都需要能够耕种自己的花园。
This is what's gonna happen. Okay, make it happen.
接下来我会耕种自己的花园。好吧，实现它。
Oh, god. Let's go in the other room, all right.
哦，天哪。我们去另一个房间，好的。
So what's teaching you right now, Esther?
所以，现在那句话教会你什么了吗？埃丝特。
What's teaching me right now is I listen intensely to what people are telling me,
现在教会我的是，我强烈地渴望去倾听人们对我说的话，
to the dramas of other people's lives and I discuss it with a lot of colleagues.
倾听别人生活中发生的戏剧性事件，我会和很多同事讨论戏剧性事件。
I mean, I make sure that I'm supported by my own tribe.
我的意思是，我保证会得到自己那帮人的支持。
