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The first step is to give myself permission and that would mean
第一步就是给自己许可证 也就是说
accepting of the emotion, accepting that is difficult, accepting reality.
接受这样的感情 接受这个困境 接受现实
Something just happened; there is nothing I can do about what had just happened.
它已经发生了 我对此什么也做不了
What can change is perhaps my interpretation of what had happened which is where I get to the next level.
能够改变的只有我对它的诠释 这时我就会进入下一个层次
The next step. And this is reframing, interpreting the situation as Positive.
到下一步 也就是重建 将情况诠释为积极的
And that would be the benefit finder.
这就是积极者
What's the silver lining here? What is the growth opportunity here?
这其中有什么闪光点 其中有什么成长的机会
So if I am going through a very difficult time,
所以如果我经历了困境
perhaps look at it through the Buddhist perspective and say,
也许可以用佛教的眼光来看待
"well, this is a tool for growth; this will help me better understand myself as well as others,
“这是成长的工具 这可以帮助我更好地了解自己 了解他人
become a better psychologist, become a better business person, whatever it is.
成为一个更好的心理学家 成为一个更好的商人 诸如此类
Seeing it again, the silver lining, the opportunity in failure.
再次发掘出失败中的闪光点 失败中的机会
And finally, one very important technique that we didn't talk about much,
最后 我们没怎么提到的一个非常重要的技巧
just in passing, is distracting, distraction; is looking toward other place.
就粗略提到过的 就是分心 将注意力转向别处
It's not always good. In fact, we will talk about next time it's sometimes
这不一定是件好事 我们下节课会讲到 有时
detrimental to stay and analyze every single emotion, feeling, thought that comes up.
执着于分析每种情感、感觉和想法是有害的
Ruminating in and of itself does not always help.
反复思考并不一定有帮助
Sometimes the best thing to do is when a negative thought comes up,
有时最好的方法就是当消极的想法
or a negative feeling comes up is to distract ourselves from it by,
或者负面的情绪出现时 将我们的注意力转到别处去
for example, going to listen to a piece of music, going for a run,
比如说 听听音乐 跑个步
talking to someone either about that or something else.
和别人聊聊这件事或者别的事
