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So in ourselves we can focus on a reward on our effort, on our process,
我们自己也可以关注我们付出的努力 关注过程本身
whether it's failure or success. Active acceptance. It will always be part of us.
不管它是失败还是成功 主动地去接受 它将永远是我们的一部分
You know one of the things that perfectionist very often do
完美主义者经常会做的一件事
when they realize they are perfectionists, and that is hurting them:
当他们意识到自己是完美主义者时 这让他们很难受
they apply the perfectionist approach to overcoming perfectionism
他们就用完美主义的方式来克服完美主义
which means, I will become perfect person who is committed to excellence.
也就是说 我会成为一个完美的追求卓越的人
That doesn't work. That's just more perfectionism.
这不会起作用的 只是更进一步的完美主义
But what active acceptance is about saying, "OK. So I'm not...
但主动的接受意味着 “好吧
So I'm still a perfectionist. I will always probably have part of it in me.
我仍旧是个完美主义者 我可能永远都会有这方面的性格
And that's OK. And that's OK." One of the things that Buddhists
这没关系 没有关系” 佛教徒
talk about is that very often, our greatest challenges,
会说的一句话是 通常情况下我们面临的最大挑战
what Karen Horney would call "our neurosis"-whether it's perfectionism,
卡伦·霍妮会称之为“神经官能症” 不管是完美主义
the fear of failure, whether it's anger that comes up once in a while,
对失败的恐惧 还是时不时出现的愤怒
anxiety, whatever it is that we have-that "issue".
焦虑 不管我们的问题是什么
The Buddhists cognitively reframe it and say, "we need to look at it as a tool,
佛教徒很巧妙地重新定义了它 “我们要将其视为一种工具
as a tool for growth, as a way of learning about ourselves,
一种成长的工具 一种了解自己的方式
digging deep inside ourselves and growing. "
使我们深入挖掘自己 然后得以成长”
So to look at it-OK, so this is an opportunity for growth, for personal learning,
要这样看它 这是个成长的机会 了解自我
for reflection, for more empathy toward other people-whatever it is.
反省自身的机会 能够更设身处地为别人着想的机会 无论它是什么
But to look at it as a tool. Accept it. And then act.
将其视为一种工具 接受它 然后行动
