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I was running a bit behin today, so I thought, if you guys wouldn't mind,
我今天有点晚了，所以我想，如果大家不介意，
I'd just like to write out my weekly Thank You Notes right now. Is that cool with you guys?
我将开始本周的感谢信环节，大家同意吗？
Thank you. James, can I get some Thank You Note-writing music, please?
谢谢，詹姆斯，能给我来点感谢信背景音乐吗？
Ah. Such a good mood all the time. Yeah. What?
啊，他总是心情很好，没错，啥？
Thank you, CDC telling people not to touch their face, for being a great way to get millions of Americans to want to touch their face.
谢谢，疾控中心告诉大家不要触碰脸，然而这么做会让数百万美国人特别想触碰自己的脸。
It's like...Wait. What? Nyah! Thank you, self-quarantinin if you feel flu-like symptoms, or, as that's also known, Netflix and chills.
很像是...等一下，啥？哼，谢谢自行隔离，如果你出现了流感一类的症状，或者也被叫做“在家不老实”。
Ahh. Come on. Come on. Thank you, Democratic candidate field for having more drop-outs this week
啊，好吧，好吧，谢谢民主党候选人，本周又有很多人退出了竞选，
than a 7:00 a.m. spin class the morning after St. Patrick's Day.
这比圣帕特里克节后，退出早上7点动感单车的人多得多。
I don't think I can make the class, my friend. I'm a bit busy. Yes. Brutal.
我不认为我能参加，我的朋友，我很忙的，没错，直截了当。
Thank you, New York City, for cleaning the subway with bleach every three days.. or, as murderers put it, Thanks for the heads up.
谢谢纽约市，每三天用清洗剂擦一遍地铁，或者就如杀人犯所说的，谢谢你的提醒。
Just wanna say hi. Achoo! I didn't know you were gonna do Schwinn!
只想和你打招呼，阿丘，我不知道你要参加施文自行车课。
Going to that acting class is really paying off.
参加这种表演课其实花钱蛮多的。
Thank you, New York's ban on plastic bags. Well, well, well,
谢谢纽约新规，你们禁止塑料袋，好吧，好吧，
I guess saving 900 plastic bags under my kitchen sink for ten years finally paid off. Schwinn!
我想，我存在洗涤池下面10年的900个塑料袋终于派上用场了，施文自行车课。
Thank you, nail clippers, for allowing me to cut my nail and cut a bitch. Ooh!
谢谢指甲刀，你让我剪指甲，也可以拿小刀和你来一架，哦哦。
Schwinn! Schwinn! Thank you, daylight saving being the time we spring forward,
施文自行车课，施文自行车课，谢谢夏令时，你让我们拨快一个小时，
for being the most positive way of saying screwed out of another hour of sleep.
用这种方法说剥夺了我们一个小时的睡觉时间。
There you go, everybody. Those are my Thank You Notes
就这么多朋友们，这就是感谢信环节。
