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Why does this always happen to us?
为什么这种事总是会发生在我们身上呢？
At least we have ice cream and rom-coms.
至少我们还有冰淇淋和爱情喜剧啊。
You just have ice cream.
只有冰淇淋好吧。
Hey there, heartbroken friends, Trace and Amy here for dNews.
嗨，心碎的老伙计们，我们是Trace和Amy，欢迎收看本期dNews视频。
Amy, have you ever been broken up with? Of course.
艾米，你曾经被分过手吗？当然。
Yeah, same things and it sucks forever.
嗯，我也有过，而且每次分手都特别不爽。
But it gets better.
但还是能恢复过来的。
Totally, especially for ladies, after a while.
完全正确，尤其是对女生来说，只是需要一段时间。
In a new study published in Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences,
《进化行为科学》上发表的一项新研究中，
researchers found that women experience more emotional pain following a breakup.
研究人员发现，分手后女性经历的痛苦要比男性更多。
But they will fully recover.
但她们是可以完全恢复过来的。
Men on the other hand experience less initial pain, but will carry that pain forever,
而男性一开始没那么痛苦，但痛会一直持续下去，
never fully recovering from their emotional kick in the teeth.
而且他们永远也无法彻底走出伤痛。
The researchers asked 5700 newly single people from 96 different countries about their splitsville experiences.
研究人员询问了来自96个国家的5700名刚分手的单身人士的分手经历。
They rated their emotional and physical pain on a scale from 1, meaning none, to 10, which meant it was unbearable.
让他们从1分(表示完全没有任何痛苦)到10分(表示痛苦到无法忍受)给自己的心理和生理痛苦程度打分。
And women fared worse when it came to both emotional and physical pain right away.
无论是情感上还是生理上的痛苦，女性都比男性表现得更糟。
They also asked people to rate their breakups and their current feelings.
他们还让大家给自己的分手和目前的感受打分。
Women reported feeling depression, fear and anxiety while men reported numbness, loss of focus and anger.
女性在报告中提到了抑郁、恐惧和焦虑，男性则在报告中提到了麻木、注意力丧失和愤怒。
Other studies have found people feel loneliness to stress and even a loss of a sense of self.
其他研究发现，人们还会因为分手感到压力，孤独，甚至迷失自我。
Most people experience at least three significant breakups by the age of 30,
大多数人在30岁之前都至少会经历三次重大的分手，
with at least one decreasing their quality of life for weeks or months.
而且至少有一次是会影响他们的生活质量长达数周甚至几个月的。
And according to this study, women were more likely to initiate a breakup,
根据这项研究，女性更有可能主动提出分手，
which is backed up by studies that found women file for 70% of all divorces.
这一结论得到了其他指出有70%的离婚案件是由女性主动提出的研究的佐证。
And this is with a more difficult emotional road ahead, so why would women take it harder?
而且，这还是在她们明知道未来的情感之路会更加艰难的情况下，那么问题来了，为什么女性承受的分手之痛更重呢？
The authors say it's because of biology.
作者说这是由于生物学的原因。
This seems full of conjecture to me, but, you know, still.
这个回答让我充满了疑惑，不过……好吧。
The lead author of the study said women quote evolved to invest more into a relationship.
该研究的第一作者表示，女性在感情中的投入更多。
A single romantic encounter could result in many years of lactation and a nine-month pregnancy,
一次浪漫的邂逅就可能导致她们进行多年的哺乳和十月怀胎，
but though women seem to be hit hard and fast by break-up,
但是，尽管分手对女性的打击来得既快又重，
They're less self-destructive, utilize more social support and recover faster and more fully.
她们却很少会自我伤害，反倒会更多利用人际关系来走出失恋的阴影，她们恢复得也会更快、更彻底。
Movies would have you believe women are hit hard and Men move on instantly and forever.
电影可能会让你觉得分手对女性的打击更大，男人则会立即彻底地向前看。
But according to the study, that's completely wrong.
但根据这项研究，这样的结论其实大错特错了。
And males will initially move on,
男性一开始是会向前看，
but over time will experience depression and self-destructive behavior once their lost sets in.
但随着时间的推移，一旦迷失开始，抑郁和自我毁灭行为就会纷至沓来。
This can last months or even years, continuing even after they find another mate.
这种情况可能会持续好几个月甚至好几年，甚至会一直持续到他们再次找到伴侣之后。
As much as we want to assume modern society has moved past some biological norms,
尽管我们很想假设现代社会已经超越了某些生物学规范，
our biology takes far longer to change than our minds
但我们的生理改变得要比我们的思想改变得慢。
But speaking of minds, breakups really can mess with those too.
但说到思想，分手也是会影响到我们的思想的。
Post-breakup, many people make self-destructive decisions,
分手后，很多人都会做出自我伤害的决定，
like dropping out of school, moving away to escape emotional pain,
比如辍学，比如为了逃避情感上的痛苦而搬家，
participating in risky sexual behaviors or worse.
载入参与危险的性行为或更过分的行为等。
This might be explained by a study in the Journal of Neurophysiology.
也许我们可以用发表在《神经生理学》上的一项研究来解释这一现象。
Researchers scanned some post-breakup brains and they looked a lot like drug addicts going cold turkey,
研究人员扫描了一些分手人士的大脑，发现他们的大脑中与可卡因和尼古丁成瘾相关的区域
with activities in areas associated with cocaine and nicotine addiction as well as areas associated with deep attachment and pain.
以及与深度依恋和疼痛相关的区域看起来很像瘾君子突然戒掉毒品后的样子。
Funnily enough, according to this research, it would seem that nobody wins a breakup.
有趣的是，根据这项研究，似乎没有人能在分手中取胜。
But that doesn't mean breakups shouldn't happen.
但这并不意味着分手就不应该发生。
A study by the American Psychological Association found after the post breakup, fog lifts.
美国心理协会的一项研究发现，分手后大家会有种豁然开朗的感觉。
Many people feel they've achieved personal growth and new perspectives on themselves,
很多人都会觉得分手后他们有了成长，对自己也有了新的看法，
especially when they don't deal with a breakup by venting.
尤其是当他们不通过发泄来面对分手的时候。
Instead of venting,
与其发泄,
the best way to get over a breakup according to science is by looking critically at yourself and the break-up experience.
根据科学研究，走出分手阴影的最好方法是批判性地审视自己以及自己的分手经历。
Venting feels great today but does nothing to help you in the long run.
发泄一时爽，但从长远来看对你并没有任何帮助。
Though the long run usually isn't that long anyway,
虽然这里的长远通常都没有那么长远，
a study in the Journal of Positive Psychology found it takes 3 months to get over a breakup,
《积极心理学》上的一项研究发现，大家通常需要3个月的时间才能走出分手的阴影，
and another study in Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society found
另一项发表在《英国皇家学会哲学学报》上的研究发现，
people who were still hung up on their ex after six months had brain activity with patterns consistent with depression.
分手半年后仍然对前任念念不忘的人的大脑活动模式与抑郁症一致。
Never go through a breakup alone.
永远不要独自面对分手。
Friends and family will help you feel more normal and get you back into the world,
朋友和家人会帮助你，让你感觉更正常，帮助你重回这个世界，
though taking a few days to recoup and recover with comfort food and movies is completely acceptable.
尽管花几天时间吃吃东西或看看电影这样的恢复方法是完全可取的。
You are going emotional cold turkey, remember?
毕竟你失恋了嘛，记得吧？
This study rings super true for me,
我感觉这个研究说得特别对，
I know so many men and so many women who have emotional problems post breakup
因为我就认识很多分手后产生青训困扰的男生和女生，
and some men emotionally never recover from a bad ex
而且有的男生永远都无法从一个糟糕的前任身上恢复过来，
and I'm sure you know some people.
我相信你肯定也认识这种人吧。
I know as well.
我也认识。
No one truly wins a breakup, but at least we know people can recover.
没有人能真正从分手中获胜，但至少我们知道大家是可以恢复的。
Well, at least, women can recover. Sorry, Trace.
至少，女生是可以恢复的。Trace，对不住啦。
How do you guys get over a breakup?
你们是怎么从分手中恢复过来的?？
Why don't you tell us down in the comments and make sure you keep coming back here every day for more dnews.
何不在下面的评论中告诉我们呢？记得每天回来收看更多节目内容噢。
and subscribe if you want to get our videos every day in your Inbox.
如果你想每天都能收到我们的视频，那就订阅吧。
Thanks for watching.
感谢大家的收看。
