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Let's get to some news, here, you guys. Today in Congress, Trump's former lawyer, Michael Cohen,
来看看新闻，今天在国会小特的前律师迈克尔·科恩在国会作证，
testified about the president and all his scandals. Yep. He called Trump a conman, a cheat, and a racist.
内容与小特和小特丑闻有关，他称小特是个骗子，和种族主义者。
Trump heard that and was like, Great. Now, I need a new 2020 campaign slogan. And a new Tinder bio.
小特听完后说，太棒了，我现在需要新的2020竞选标语，新的“Tinder”应用简历。
That's right. Cohen went in front of Congress and called Trump a conman and a cheat.
没错，科恩出现在了国会前，称小特是个大骗子。
Then, he followed it up by saying, He taught me everything I know.
他继续说，我知道的都是他教的。
But Cohen's testimony was on every TV channel, and I heard that it was also aired on Russian TV. Really? Yeah.
科恩的证词出现在了每一个电视频道中，听说俄罗斯电台也直播了，真的吗？没错。
You know it's crazy when even Vladimir Putin is like, Pass popcorn. It's getting good. This getting good.
当你听到普京说递给我爆米花，不错，真是不错啊，这很疯狂不是吗。
At one point, Cohen discussed what Trump said about his son, Don Jr. Watch this.
科恩在国会还提到了小特对他儿子的评价，来看看。
Mr. Trump had frequently told me and others that his son Don Jr. had the worst judgment of anyone in the world.
特朗普多次对我和其他人说，他的儿子小唐的判断力太差劲了，是世界上最差的。
In response...Don Jr. was like, Dad talked about me? Wow.
对此，小唐说爸爸谈论我了？哦哦。
And get this...Cohen also said that he's responsible for making sure Trump's SAT scores never leaked.
听说，科恩还说道他负责不让小特的高考分数泄露出去。
It's safe to say the only time Trump's seen a 1600 is when he passes the White House mailbox.
我向你保证，小特唯一一次看到1600分是当他
Later on, a Congresswoman asked Cohen how many times Trump made him threaten someone on his behalf. Check this out.
随后，国会女议员问科恩你曾几次代表小特威胁他人，来看看。
How many times did Mr. Trump ask you to threaten an individual or entity on his behalf?
小特有多少次让你代表他威胁个人或实体？
Quite a few times. 50 times? More. 100 times? More. 200 times? More. 500 time? Probably.
很多次，50次？更多，100次？更多，200次？更多，500次？或许吧。
600 times? Double it. 700 times? Square that. 800? Times that by infinity. Wow.
600次？两倍多，700次？是它的平方，800次？乘以无限次。哦哦。
During his testimony, Cohen showed a check that he says Trump used to pay him back for Stormy Daniels' hush money. Take a look at this.
在作证期间，科恩展示了一张支票，由于斯托米·丹尼尔封口费，这是小特偿还给科恩的封口费钱，来看看。
It's for 35,000 dollars. Well, it turns out the president wrote checks to Cohen for all sorts of other expenses, too. Take a look.
3.5万美金，其实小特还为科恩写了所有开销的支票，来看看。
First, Trump wrote a check for a private investigator to find out who The Masked Singer is. Really?
第一，这张支票是为私人调查者写的，目的是寻找谁是“蒙面歌王”，真的吗？
He also wrote a check for taking Don Jr. and Eric to Six Flags and leaving them there.
他还写了一张让小唐和埃里克去六面旗公园的支票，然后把他们留在那里。
And finally, Trump sent a check to Cohen for hush money for my barber. He writes too many checks. What！
最后，小特还给科恩写了一张给理发师的封口费支票，他写了太多支票，什么？
You guys, Cohen's testimony was such a big deal that it completely overshadowed the summit between Trump and Kim Jong-un.
朋友们，科恩的作证是件大事，这让小特和金正恩的峰会黯然失色。
You could tell Trump was upset cause at one point, he leaned over to Kim and said, How much to fire off a nuke right now?
你可以说小特很不安，他向金正恩那里靠近，说我需要花多少钱来发射核武器？
Don't hit anything. But get this...I heard Kim Jong-un actually brought his sister to the summit.
不要打击什么目标，听说金正恩带妹妹来到了峰会。
It got awkward when Trump went up to Kim's sister and said, Which one are you, Khloe or Kourtney?
小特会见他妹妹时略显尴尬，哪个是你？科勒还是卡戴珊？
Later on, Trump gave Kim a pretty enthusiastic handshake. Check out the way Trump's arm swoops in there. Watch this.
随后，小特给金正恩一个很有力量的握手，看看小特甩胳臂的动作，来看看。
Trump shakes hands like a used car salesman who's desperate to make a deal.
小特握手的动作很像一个二手车销售人员，一个急于达成交易的人。
He's like, So, we got a deal. It's yours, right? That's yours. You own it now. That's your car. You own that forever now.
他很像在说，我们达成交易了，是你的了，车是你的了，你可以永远拥有它。
Well, throughout the day, Trump actually posted a bunch of photos about his summit with Kim Jong-un to his Instagram story.
一整天，小特上传了许多关于峰会的照片到Instagram故事。
Let's check it out. Here's the first photo. It's Trump and Kim at dinner. If we tap it, we see that Trump wrote,
来看看，这是第一张，这是小特和金正恩的晚宴，如果你把它打出来，那小特就是在写，
Love being here in Vietnom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom. Here's the next photo in the story.
越南南南南南的爱...这是故事的第二张。
You tap it, and you see Trump wrote, That feeling when you and your bro are about to touch tummies.
如果打出来，你会看到小特在写，你和你哥哥要触摸胃的感觉。
And finally, here's the last photo. Tap it, and Trump wrote, #faceswap.
最后一张，打出来后发现小特在写，换脸。
He's having fun. He's having fun. Come on. All right,
他在寻开心，寻开心，好吧，好吧。
Here's some good news. Target is now selling wine for just 10 dollars a bottle.
来看看好消息，塔吉特销售每瓶10美金的红酒。
Meanwhile, Walmart just tapped a keg of Natty Light in the patio section and said, Go nuts.
同时沃尔玛打开了一桶Natty Light啤酒，并把它放在平台上，然后说道气疯了。
And finally, today Oprah lost 58 million dollars after the Weight Watchers stock went down.
最后，奥普拉损失了5800万美金，因为慧俪轻体股票下降了。
Even worse thanks to Weight Watchers, she'll never gain it back.
但就因为慧俪轻体，她不会再把钱赢回来。
