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It's our first show of 2019, everybody.
这是我们2019年的第一次节目。
And the government shutdown is entering its third week with no end in sight.
政府关门进入第三周，而且没有结束的迹象。
Right now, it's tough to say what will last longer, the government shutdown or your neighbor's Christmas decorations.
现在很难说哪个会更长，是政府关门还是邻居家的圣诞装饰。
I don't know. But President Trump is refusing to end the shutdown until he gets 5 billion dollars for a border wall.
不知道，但小特总统拒绝结束这一状态，除非他得到了50亿美金的边境墙。
The Democrats have a plan. They're gonna make Trump wear one of the those blindfolds from Bird Box and just tell him there's a wall.
民主党有个计划，他们将让小特戴上《蒙上你的眼》中的眼罩，然后告诉他这有一面墙。
Don't take it off! Don't take it off! Is that a wall? It feels more like a fence, I think.
不要拿下来，不要拿下来，这是墙吗？感觉更像是围栏。
The other day, Trump spoke about the shutdown at an event with Republican leader Kevin McCarthy.
一天，小特在一次活动上与共和党领袖凯文·麦卡锡谈论了政府关闭一事。
Now, Trump had a little trouble remembering Kevin's name. Take a look at this.
如今，小特似乎很难记住凯文的名字，来看看。
And there was progress today. I look forward to solving it. Thank you, Steve.
今天取得了进步，我希望能够解决它，谢谢史蒂夫。
Steve is short for Steven, which is basically Kevin. I mean, He called Kevin Steve.
史蒂夫是史蒂文的缩写，基本上就可以算作是凯文，他称凯文为史蒂夫。
And I think Trump's been trying to find a guy named Steve for a long time. Watch this.
好像小特找了好久叫史蒂夫的人，看看。
Where's Steve? Steve! Steve, Steve! Where's Steve? Steve? Where is Steve? Where is he? They lost him backstage.
史蒂夫在哪？史蒂夫？史蒂夫？史蒂夫？史蒂夫在哪？史蒂夫？史蒂夫在哪？他在哪？他们把他丢在后台了。
Where is he? Where's Steve?
史蒂夫在哪？他在哪？
Well, guys, due to the shutdown, TSA agents are not getting paid,
朋友们因为政府关闭，运输安全局工作人员没有薪资，
and on Friday, 170 of them didn't show up to work at JFK Airport.
周五，170名工作人员没有到肯尼迪机场工作。
It got awkward when passengers got to security, and they had to pat down themselves.
当乘客到达安检地时，尴尬的情况发生了，他们不得不自己检查自己。
Hey, watch it! Watch it there, buddy. That's right, 170 TSA agents at JFK Airport called in sick.
大家看着，看着啊，没错，170名运输安全局工作人员请了病假。
But, thankfully, at LaGuardia, their one TSA agent showed up. So, yeah. Steve? Are you Steve?
但幸运的是在拉瓜迪亚机场，我们发现了一名运输安全局工作人员，没错，史蒂夫？你是史蒂夫吗？
But this whole shutdown is about the wall, and this weekend, Trump decided to tweet about it using a meme
但政府关门都是因为边境墙，本周末，小特决定在推特上使用一种风格，
inspired by Game of Thrones. Did you see this? Check it...This is real.
它受到了《权力的游戏》的启发，你们看了吗？来看看，这是真的。
It said, The wall is coming. And Democratic Senator Chuck Schumer responded to Trump by tweeting,
它说边境墙来了，民主党参议员查克·舒默在推特上回应道，
"Enough with the memes". This is true. But Trump didn't stop. He doubled down on using popular memes.
不要再用风格了，这是真的，小特没有停止，他继续用受欢迎的风格。
Next, he tweeted the meme of a kid pumping his fist that said, That feeling when your meme makes Chuck Schumer mad.
下一个，他用了小男孩手握拳头的图片，说到这张风格肯定让舒默发疯了。
Then Schumer replied with a meme of Grumpy Cat that said, Stop.
舒默用暴躁猫回应道，停止吧。
Then Trump replied by tweeting, Ermagherd, I terld yer, yer ers berder werll memes real.
小特继续用推特回应，我告诉你，我的边境墙是真的。
And finally, Schumer tweeted, Click here if you want 5 billion dollars for the wall.
最后舒默在推特上说到，点击这里得到你想要的50亿美金。
Trump clicked on it, he saw this. Ah, he fell for it. He got Rickrolled. He got Rickrolled. He got Rickrolled.
小特点了进去，他看到了这个，他上当了，他进入了伪连接，伪连接，伪连接。
I read that an Arizona woman is accused of sending a man more than 159,000 texts after they went on one date.
听说亚利桑那州一名女子被指控给一男子发送了超15.9万个短信，就在他们第一次约会之后。
When asked why she did it, the woman was like, Why? Did he ask about me?
当被问及为什么这么做时，她说为什么，他打听我了吗？
And finally, tonight was the season premiere of The Bachelor, and the new bachelor is Colton.
最后，今晚是《单身汉》新一季的首次播放，新的单身汉是科尔顿。
He's an ex-NFL player who says he's still a virgin. Says it's a little old fashioned but he just believes in waiting
他是一名前橄榄球联盟球员，他说他还是处男，他说自己有点传统，但他依然想等待，
until he finds the right 30 women. You guys, we have a great show tonight. Give it up for The Roots.
直到他找到理想的第30名女性，今晚的节目很精彩，掌声送给紫金合唱团。
