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We all know how easy it is to be completely mesmerized by a new crush.
我们很容易被暗恋所蒙蔽。
And when you're falling for someone, it can seem like nothing else really matters.
喜欢上一个的人时候，好像其他一切都不重要了。
But the sad truth is that some crushes can be unhealthy and that's something everyone needs to watch out for.
但事实是一些暗恋可能不健康，并且这样不健康的暗恋需要引起大家的注意。
Can you think of a time when you had an unhealthy crush?
你有没有经历过不健康的暗恋呢？
You might even be in the midst of an unhealthy crush right now without actually realizing it.
说不定现在你就处在一段不健康的暗恋之中，而你却没有意识到。
But have no fear because we're about to tell you all about which crushes we think can be potentially unhealthy and what to look out for.
但是也不用担心，因为我们将要告诉大家哪些是不健康暗恋并要注意些什么。
1. Crushing on someone who's already in a relationship.
1.暗恋的人已经有男女朋友了。
Let's get the obvious stuff out of the way first.
让我们首先来解决这种暗恋。
Yes, crushing on someone who's in a relationship is probably not the most healthy thing for you.
没错，暗恋有男女朋友的人或许并不是最有害的一面。
Psychologically speaking, we know that this is sometimes hard to control
从心理学上来讲，暗恋有时很难控制
but wanting something that you can't have could potentially lead to some serious inner turmoil.
但是想要那些本不属于你的东西会造成一些内心严重的骚乱。
It's cool to hang back and wait for an opening
暗自等待机会看似很酷
but if you can't control your feelings, it could destroy your friendships and totally mess with your head.
但如果你不控制自己的情感，你的友谊会被摧毁，你脑袋会一片混乱。
2. Crushing on someone who's way too old or young for you.
2. 暗恋大你很多岁或小你很多岁的人。
We know that age is just a number but there's definitely a limit to that.
我们知道年龄不过是一个数字，但是年龄绝对是有界限的。
Crushing on someone who's way too old or young for you could very well be an unhealthy thing, it might not even be legal.
暗恋比你大很多或小很多岁的人可能是一件非常不健康的事情，甚至可能构成非法行为。
While these relationships can sometimes work out, they definitely don't stand the best chance of success.
虽然这样的关系有时可能行得通，但是成功机会绝对不大。
Again, this is often a case of desiring something you can't have and that can lead to some seriously unhealthy patterns.
这就像是你想要那些无法拥有的事物一样，会构成一些非常不健康的模式。
It's even more worrisome if you find yourself crushing on older people who are married
如果你发现自己喜欢上了已婚长者
or if you are an older person crushing on someone who's still essentially a child.
或许喜欢比你小很多的小孩，这样更让人不安。
There are tons of situations where older and younger people can make it work
忘年恋成功的情况很多
but there's also a lot of potential for unhealthy behavior.
但是其中也存在很多潜在不健康行为。
3. When a crush becomes an obsession.
3. 当暗恋变成迷恋。
While it's true that devotion and obsession can sometimes be romantic, it's easy to cross the line into some very weird territory.
有时奉献和迷恋很浪漫，但很容易就越界进入一种非常怪异的领域。
If you find yourself following your crush around, creeping on their social media profiles and generally just worshipping them,
如果你发现自己在跟踪暗恋对象，窥探他们的社交状态并逐渐崇拜他们，
then you've probably developed some pretty unhealthy thought patterns.
那么你可能存在一些相当不健康的思维模式。
Not only is this unhealthy, but it also diminishes your chances of actually getting with your crush.
这样不仅不健康，还会降低你和暗恋对象在一起的机会。
It's better to just relax, take it easy and try not to obsess too hard.
最好是让自己放松、不要用力过猛。
4. When you develop a crush on someone who treats you poorly.
4. 暗恋对象对你非常不好。
Some of our viewers might disagree with some of these points
我们的一些观众或许不太同意其中一些说法，
but everyone will understand that this is unhealthy and the sad part is it happens way too often.
但是人人都知道这是不健康的并且最让人难过的是这种情况经常发生。
Crushing on someone who treats you poorly is pretty unhealthy and it's something that definitely needs to be addressed.
暗恋某些对你并不好的人相当不健康，这是绝对需要解决的问题。
If you find yourself getting attracted to someone who is bullying you or putting you down, maybe take a step back.
如果你发现自己喜欢上那些欺凌你或是贬低你的人，或许你该退一步。
This could be due to codependency or some sort of psychological trauma you need to work through with a professional.
这可能是由于互相依赖或是某些心理创伤，你需要寻求专家的帮助。
There is no reason why you should be attracted to someone who is abusive and mean.
你没有理由要去喜欢一个暴力自私的人。
Sure, bad boys can be attractive but someone who treats you badly will never make a good partner
没错，坏男孩很吸引人，但是那些对你不好的人绝不是好的伴侣。
5. Crushing on an ex.
5. 迷恋前任。
Well, it's obviously not something that we can control, it's generally not a positive thing in our lives.
这不是我们能够控制的情况，也不是什么好的事情。
In the simplest terms possible, crushing on an ex means that you can't move on.
用最简单的方式来说，迷恋前任意味着你放不下过去。
Sure, there might be a chance of getting back together and it might be a great relationship when you do that.
没错，你们或许有机会复合，复合或许也不错。
But what if your ex has moved on and you didn't?
但如果你的前任已经放下过去，而你却没有呢？
What if you just find yourself wishing that you could get back together, even when you know that it's not possible.
如果只是你自己希望复合，即便你知道这已经不可能了呢？
This goes back to the problem of desiring things you can't have.
这又回到了渴望自己无法拥有的东西的问题。
An ex can be that forbidden fruit which torments you day and night. In the end, it's better to just let go.
前任就是日夜折磨着你的禁果。最终，最好还是放手。
While it's sometimes hard to do this, being completely unable to is an unhealthy sign.
虽然有时很难放手，但是完全做不到是一种不健康的迹象。
6. Crushing on someone in a long-distance relationship when you're not used to it.
6. 喜欢的那个人在远方，而你无法适应。
Let's be clear. Long-distance relationships can work.
异地恋可以行得通。
We're not saying crushing on someone who lives far away is always unhealthy but it definitely has potential to be.
我们并不是说喜欢远方的人是不健康的，但是这绝对有变成不健康暗恋的潜在因素。
It can be pretty stressful thinking about what that person is up to and whether or not they're getting romantic with other people.
想到那个人在忙什么，他们是不是喜欢上了其他人是一件折磨的事情。
In fact, it can be pretty close to torture.
事实上，这近乎于折磨。
If you're used to long-distance relationships you might be able to keep that crush alive and wait for your moment, but if not,
如果你能够适应异地恋，那么你或许可以一直喜欢对方并等待时机，但如果你不能适应，
it could spiral into some pretty unhealthy thoughts and behaviors.
就会陷入一些相当不健康的想法和行为。
7. Crushing on someone when you're already in a relationship.
7. 已经有男女朋友，却还是喜欢上别人。
Crushing on when you're already in a relationship can be an uncontrollable thing
这种情况是不可控的，
and it's definitely a case of the grass always being greener on the other side.
这绝对是出轨另一方的例子。
We know love just happens.
爱情可遇不可求。
It's not like we can control who we fall for or whether or not it happens when we're already in a relationship.
我们无法控制自己喜欢谁，不论我们有没有另一半。
But if you find yourself crushing on people while you're already tied down,
但是如果你已经有男女朋友了，却还是喜欢上了别人，
it might just be a sign that you're not able to commit to a long-term partnership and you have problems being loyal.
这或许意味着你无法对长期情感负责且不忠诚。
This is potentially a cause for alarm especially if you're leading your partner on while not really interested in them.
这可能会引起你的警示，尤其是你已经不喜欢另一半的时候，还继续哄骗他们。
All this can be is pretty unhealthy. If you enjoyed this video, please like and subscribe to see more content from Psych2go.
所有这些都相当不健康。如果你喜欢本期视频，请点赞并关注我们的频道。
If you found out that your crush is actually healthy, we hope that it works out for you. Thanks so much for watching!
如果你的喜欢是积极阳光的，那么我们希望你们牵手成功。感谢收看！
