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Here's what people are talking about, you guys. Tonight was the start of the Winter Olympics. That's right,
来听听下面这个，今晚冬季奥运会拉开大幕，没错，
which means we get to chant USA someplace besides the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.
我们还能在国际吃热狗大赛以外听到“美国”的呐喊声。
USA! USA! Go, Joey Chestnut! Joey Chestnut, man, eat the hot dog!
美国，美国，乔伊·斯特纳，乔伊·斯特纳，快吃热狗！
He's gonna eat another one! No way! There ain't no way he'sgonna eat one more hot dog! No way! He did it!
他还要再吃一个，他不可能再吃了，但是他做到了，他又吃了一个。
Oh, he threw it back up! He ate it again! Oh, my goodness!
老天，他又吃了一个，我的天啊。
Tonight was the opening ceremony. It was a lot of fun until Trump stood there pointing out which countries are S-holes.
今晚是开幕式，趣事还真不少，直到小特提到了许多傻子国家。
S-hole. S-hole. Nice. Never heard of that country. Hole!
傻子，傻子，这个不错，这个从来没听过，傻子。
Actually, President Trump loves watching the Olympics. He even asked to introduce each country at the opening ceremony. Let's see how he did.
小特其实特别喜欢看冬奥会，他还被邀请介绍这些国家，来看看他是怎么说的。
I love the Olympics. There are so many fantastic countries participating:
我喜欢奥运会，奥运会上会有许多伟大的国家参赛，
countries like Luxury Bird, Tiny Dad and Toboggan, Kardashian, Melania, that movie with the talking lion,
比如“奢侈鸟”“小爸爸和雪橇”“卡戴珊”“梅拉尼娅”，还有会说话的狮子，
Phil's Penis, and my personal favorite, the United Shersh. All right. United Shersh?
菲利普，以及我最喜欢的美桌，美桌。
United Shersh? Why? There's tons of great athletes competing for the U.S. like Lindsey Vonn,
美桌？为什么？ 美国有许多伟大的运动员参赛，比如林赛·沃恩，
Shaun White, Adam Rippon. But the big winner so far Michael Phelps.
肖恩·怀特，亚当·里彭，但最大的赢家却是迈克尔·菲尔普斯。
Surprisingly, yeah. He's that good. How does he do it? He's that good. He's that, he can't stop winning medals.
惊讶吧，他非常出色，他是怎么做到的？ 他就是那么棒，他一直在赢，没停过。
Listen to this, I read that a record number of condoms are being distributed to athletes at this year's Winter Olympics.
听听下面这个，在这次冬奥会上免费发放了避孕套。
That's right, Olympic condoms, or as speed skaters call those, uniforms. Hey-oh! Hey. Hey, guys, enough of that stuff.
没错，奥运会避孕套，就像速滑选手说的一样运动服，哦哦，好了可以了。
Valentine's Day is just a few days away. Yeah. Now, of course,
情人节马上来了，没错。
of course a lot of famous couples will be exchanging Valentine's cards. Now, I don't know how this happened,
当然，许多名流夫妻都会交换情人节卡片，我不知道这是怎么流传下来的，
but we actually got ahold of some of them here at The Tonight Show. Yeah. Wow.
但我们今天要在《今夜秀》来读一读其中几个卡片，真的。
We're gonna show them to you right now. Check these out. First is a card that Melania Trump sent to Donald. Oh.
我们现在就来看看，来看看，第一个是梅拉尼娅送给小特的，哦哦。
On the front it says I booked a romantic get-away. Inside it says, See you when I get back. What?
在卡片的前面她写道，我预定了一个非常浪漫的地方，里面写道，等我回来再说，什么？
Interesting. That's odd. Here's one that the Bachelor, Arie, sent to one of the contestants. It says Lauren,
有趣吧，太不正常了，这个是来自《单身汉》电视节目中的艾力，卡片是送给一位选手的，他说劳伦，
there's no one else like you. You open it up, it says aside from the three other Lauren's
世界上没有像你一样的人，然后你把卡片打开，里面写道除了其他三个
I am currently dating. Well, that makes sense. That makes sense. Yeah.
我正在约会的劳伦，这个能讲得通，能说得通。
Here's one from Kim Jong-Un, he sent to his girlfriend. It says be mine. Inside it says or else. Oh. Sweet. Sweetie, man. So sweet.
这个是来自金正恩的，送给他的女友，上面写道我的女友，里面写道或是其它，太贴心了，太可爱了。
Finally, here's one that Kanye West sent to Kim Kardashian. It says I love your eyes, your heart, and your mind.
最后一条是坎耶·维斯特送给金·卡戴珊的，上面写道我喜欢你的眼睛，你的心和你的灵魂。
But most of all, I love your husband. There you go. Wow.
但最主要的，我喜欢你的丈夫，太棒了。
Speaking of the Kardashians, I saw that Kylie Jenner's photo of her baby, Stormi, is now the most-liked Instagram photo ever. Wow.
说到卡戴珊，我看了凯莉·詹娜在“Instagram”晒的照片，小姑娘Stormi成为了点赞数量最多的照片，哦哦。
It got, like, 15 million likes. When they heard that, Kim, Kendall, and Khloe quietly un-liked it.
有大约1500万个赞，当他们听说这个消息，金、肯达尔以及科勒悄无声息地取消了点赞。
Enough's enough. Enough's enough. Finally, you guys, I read about a 102-year-old man who celebrated his birthday this weekend
过犹不及，过犹不及，最后一条，我听说102岁高龄男子本周末庆祝了他的生日，
by setting the Guinness World Record for the oldest person to ride a zip line.
他还在这一天坐了云霄飞索，这也创造了吉尼斯世界纪录。
which was cool till he was like, I said I wanted a shoe shine.
这太酷了，但他其实说的是擦鞋，而不是飞索。
We have a great show tonight! Give it up for The Roots!
今晚的节目非常精彩，掌声送给紫根合唱团。
