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And we tend to fall in love with somebody
我们会倾向于
from the same socioeconomic background,
在同等的社会、经济背景，
the same general level of intelligence,
同样智力水平，
the same general level of good looks,
同等的相貌，
the same religious values.
以及相同的宗教信仰中找到自己的爱人。
Your childhood certainly plays a role, but nobody knows how.
而童年的经历也会影响人们的爱情，但如何作用却无人知晓。
And that's about it, that's all they know.
就是这些，心理学家知道的只有这些。
No, they've never found the way two personalities
而且，他们不知道在良好的关系中，
fit together to make a good relationship.
双方的人格是如何配合的。
So, it began to occur to me
因此，我开始思考
that maybe your biology pulls you
为什么我们接近这一群人，而不是其他人，
towards some people rather than another.
这是不是有生物上的解释。
And I have concocted a questionnaire to see to what degree
为此，我做了一份问卷调查，
you express dopamine, serotonin, estrogen and testosterone.
以探明人们如何显现多巴胺、血清素、雌激素和睾丸激素的性状。
I think we've evolved four very broad personality types
我相信这四种物质在大脑中的不同配比
associated with the ratios of these four chemicals in the brain.
让人类演化出了四种非常普遍的人格类型。
And on this dating site that I have created,
所以我在Mating.com上创建了一个子站：Chemistry.com。
called Chemistry.com, I ask you first a series of questions
第一部分的问题
to see to what degree you express these chemicals,
用来确认上述四种物质在你的大脑中是如何显现性状的。
and I'm watching who chooses who to love.
最后网站记录下是谁选择了谁。
And 3.7 million people have taken the questionnaire in America.
总共有370万美国人和
About 600,000 people have taken it in 33 other countries.
60万来自其他33个国家的人做了这项测试。
I'm putting the data together now,
我正在对测试数据进行整理。
and at some point -- there will always be magic to love,
一定程度上，爱情总是神秘的，
but I think I will come closer to understanding
但我相信我会逐步接近问题的答案——
why it is you can walk into a room
当你走进一间房间时，
and everybody is from your background,
每一个人都是和你同样的背景，
your same general level of intelligence,
你们处在同样的智力水平上，
your same general level of good looks,
你们有同等的相貌，
and you don't feel pulled towards all of them.
但为什么你不会被所有这些人所吸引？
I think there's biology to that.
我认为这一定有生物学上的解释。
I think we're going to end up, in the next few years,
我想几年之内
to understand all kinds of brain mechanisms
我们就可以理解大脑
that pull us to one person rather than another.
是如何让我们找到我们唯一爱的人。
So, I will close with this. These are my older people.
那样，我就更接近答案了。这是我的父母。
Faulkner once said, "The past is not dead,
福克纳曾说过：“过去未曾消逝，
it's not even the past."
它们还留在心中。”
Indeed, we carry a lot of luggage
确实是这样，我们把从过去带来的大量的行李
from our yesteryear in the human brain.
堆放在大脑中。
And so, there's one thing
我心里总存在一种力量，
that makes me pursue my understanding of human nature,
让我想要理解人性，
and this reminds me of it.
而这也让我想到了这幅照片。
These are two women.
这是两个女人。
Women tend to get intimacy differently than men do.
女人们倾向于更亲昵的言行而不像男人们那样。
Women get intimacy from face-to-face talking.
女人们从面对面的交谈中获得了亲切感，
We swivel towards each other,
我们转向对方，
we do what we call the "anchoring gaze" and we talk.
并在交谈中注视着对方。
This is intimacy to women.
这就是女性相互理解的方式。
I think it comes from millions of years
我想这是源于长久的进化岁月中，
of holding that baby in front of your face,
女人总是把婴儿抱在面前，
cajoling it, reprimanding it, educating it with words.
哄他们、训诫他们、教导他们。
Men tend to get intimacy from side-by-side doing.
而男人们总是在侧坐的交谈中找到亲切感。
As soon as one guy looks up, the other guy will look away.
当一个人看着对方时，另一个人会望向别处。
I think it comes from millions of years
我想这源自远古时期，
of standing behind that -- sitting behind the bush,
男人们藏在灌木丛中，
looking straight ahead,
看着前方，
trying to hit that buffalo on the head with a rock.
并想着用手中的石块砸向野牛的头。
I think, for millions of years, men faced their enemies,
在数万年的人类历史中，男人们和朋友坐在一起，
they sat side by side with friends.
一起面对共同敌人。
So my final statement is: love is in us.
所以我的主张是：爱就在我们心中。
It's deeply embedded in the brain.
它深深地扎根在大脑中。
Our challenge is to understand each other. Thank you.
理解对方是我们所追求的目标。谢谢大家！
