评论
打印
There is no straight path from your seat today to where you are going
从你们所坐的地方到你们要去的地方 是没有直路的
Don't try to draw that line. You will not just get it wrong
不要尝试画这样的直线 这不仅会出错
You'll miss big opportunities and I mean big, like the Internet
还会错失大机遇 我说的是大机遇 例如像互联网这样
Careers are not ladders. Those days are long gone
职业并不是梯子 那种时代已经一去不返了
but jungle gyms
职业更像是立体方格铁架
Don't just move up and down. Don't just look up
不要只上下移动 不要只往上看
Look backwards, sideways, around corners
还要往回看 往旁边看 看转角周围
Your career and your life will have starts and stops and zigs and zags
你的职业和生活会有始终 会有曲折
Don't stress out about the white space, the path you can try
不要对未来的道路太过忧虑
because there in lives both the surprises and the opportunities
因为生活中充满了惊喜和机遇
As you open yourself up to possibility
你需要对各种可能性持开放态度
the most important thing I can tell you today
今天我要讲的最重要的一点就是
is to open yourself up to honesty
对诚实保持开放态度
to telling the truth to each other
相互之间说老实话
to being honest with yourselves
对自己诚实
and to being honest about the world we live in
也对我们所生活的世界保持诚实
If you watched children, you will immediately notice how honest they are
看看小孩 你马上就能看到他们有多诚实
My friend Betsy was pregnant and her son
我朋友贝琪怀孕后
for the second child, son Sam was 5
她五岁的儿子山姆
he wanted to know where the baby was in her body
想知道宝宝在她身体里的什么地方
So yes Mommy, are the babies arms in your arms?
他问 妈咪 宝宝的胳膊在你的胳膊里吗
And she said, no no Sam, baby's in my tummy
她回答说 不不 山姆 宝宝在我肚子里
whole baby
整个宝宝
Mom, are the baby's legs in your legs?
妈 宝宝的腿在你腿里吗
No, Sam, whole baby's in my tummy
不 山姆 整个宝宝都在我肚子里
Then Mommy, what's growing in your butt?
那妈咪 你屁股里长的是什么
As adults
作为成年人
we are almost never dishonest
我们几乎一直很诚实
and that can be a very good thing
这当然是很好的事情
When I was pregnant with our first child
我在怀第一个孩子时
I asked my husband Dave if my butt was getting big
我问丈夫戴夫 我屁股有没有变大
At first, he didn't answer but I pressed
最初他没有回答 但我给他施压
So he said, yeah, a little
他只好说 有一点吧
For years my sister-in-law said about him what people
我小姑子经常说他的一句话
will now say about you for the rest of your life when you do something done
也是你们以后在生活中经常会听到有人说到的
and that guy went to Harvard
这伙计竟然是哈佛出来的
Hearing the truth at different times along the way would have helped me
在人生旅途中听到一些真相本该对我有所帮助
I would not have admitted it easily when I sat where you sit
我在你们这个年龄时 还没有领会到这一点
But when I graduated, I was much more worried about my love life than my career
在我毕业的时候 我对爱情生活比对事业更加担心
I thought I only had a few years very limited time to find one of the good guys
我认为自己没有什么时间了 必须尽快找个好男人嫁了
before he was to, or before they were all taken
避免所有好男人都被别人找去了
or I got too old
或是我变得太老
So I moved to DC, and met with guy
我于是搬到哥伦比亚特区
and I got married at the nearly decrepit age of 24
在"老迈"的24岁找个男人嫁了
I married a wonderful man but I had no business making that kind of commitment
那个男人很不错 但我俩似乎总是相处不好
I didn't know who I was or who I wanted to be
我变得不知道自己是谁 对未来失去了方向
My marriage fell apart within a year
一年不到 我的婚姻就以失败告终了
something that was really embarrassing and painful at the time
当时我非常难堪 非常痛苦
and it did not help that so many friends came up to me and said
很多朋友来安慰我 但却毫无帮助 他们说
I never knew that, never thought that was going to work or
我就知道你们俩结婚是行不通的
I knew you weren't right for each other
我就知道你们根本不合适
No one had managed to say anything like that to me
没人在我婚姻之前跟我说这些
before I marched down an aisle when it would have been far more useful
事前告诉我这些肯定会更有用
And as I lived through these painful months of separation and divorce
我熬过了离婚后的这些痛苦时光
boy, did I wish they had?
我多希望他们原来有给过我建议
And boy, did I wish I had asked them?
我多希望我曾经问过他们
At the same time in my professional life, someone did speak up
而在我的职业生涯中 确实有人无保留地说了出来
My first boss out of college was Lant Pritchett
本科后我的第一任老板是兰特o普里切特
an economist who teaches at the Kennedy School who is here with us today
肯尼迪学院授课的一位经济学家 他今天也在现场
After I deferred to law school for the second time
我第二次考虑法学院时
Lant sat me down and said
兰特跟我说
I don't think you should go to law school at all
我不认为你应该去法学院
I don't think you want to go to law school
我也不认为你想去法学院
I think you think you should because you told your parents you would many years ago
你认为你应当去 大概只是因为你父母想要你去
He noted that he had never once heard me talk about the law with any interest
他注意到 我在谈话中从未表现出对法律的任何兴趣
I know how hard it can be to be honest with each other
我知道 相互之间坦诚相见是多么困难的事情
even your closest friends, even when they're about to make serious mistakes
哪怕是最亲密的朋友 哪怕是在他们可能犯严重错误时
but I bet sitting here today, you know your closest friends' strength, weaknesses
不过我敢打赌 在座的各位知道自己亲密朋友的强项和弱项
what cliff they might drive off
知道他们可能会掉落什么悬崖
and I bet for the most part you've never told them
我也敢打赌 大部分时候 你们并没有告诉他们
and they've never asked
他们也从没有问过
Ask them
问这些问题
Ask them for the truth because it will help you
真相会越问越明
and when they answer honestly
朋友们诚实回答时
you know that that's what makes them real friends
你就知道他们是你真正的朋友了
Asking for feedback is a really important habit to get into
养成寻求反馈的习惯是非常重要的
as you leave the structure of the school calendar and exams and grades behind
特别是在离开学校系统 没了考试和分数之后
On many jobs if you want to know how you're doing
很多工作中 如果你想知道自己干得怎样
if you're going to have to ask and
你就需要去询问
then you're gonna have to listen without getting defensive
而且不要因为听到不喜欢听的而觉得受到冒犯
Take it from me, listening to criticism is never fun
毫无疑问 听人批评绝对不会让人高兴
